THE SABOTEUR IN THE MIRROR

bottom would f

lt like a

ing. Just the slow erosion of illusion. On

nymore. I barely touched my phone. There were no

The job was gone

nd the child I hadn't plan

o the baby out loud

oday. I used to

or breakfast. T

ng soft It will be somethin

writin

tions or budget memos. Just words. For me. For

journal wit

redemption arc. But i

before I learned h

r cracked.

noon, I s

he back of a rideshare car, on my way to a checkup at the clinic

ide a café, holding

. happy. Norm

. The same laugh I used to chase. He

never

verything I

ge. Or jealousy.

lt d

you don't ne

rror. My belly just beginning to show. I

ve your worth to someone wh

e lilies-wilted, brown, and bitter. I bagged the robe Ahmed once liked. Do

like a

a ba

't cal

o. God, I

k for forgiveness. That wasn't fair to hi

te to him in t

en. That doesn't make me evi

t condition. You gave me tha

to hold space for my healing. But I hope one day you

to the corner shop an

rapped in b

d visited since her funeral. I don't know why I stayed away

I under

ushed off the dust. Laid the

too far,"

e every

t wanted the same

ime. Not crying. Not pra

forg

. Not e

t

d Ahmed abo

use I wa

se I was

an apology. Or a w

re a be

ed an email from Lydi

ver just you

for ten minutes

er are

sure. But it

at was

the kind that color-code a life,

methin

or 20

hat doesn't make

en if you

oy sn

ng doesn't come

ea that stays warm, and s

ths, when I looked in the mir

the su

mo

stopped runnin