THE SABOTEUR IN THE MIRROR

asn't

perfo

and the audience, clapping

e. For a while, it did. I moved through the world like I was lit from within, a secret bur

e same one. He once joked about a car he couldn't afford - I leased it in my

love, but for relevance. As if I had

irectly. But his admiration was addict

ttles lined the bathroom sink. A silk robe hung on the door. Fresh lilie

," he once said. "Elegan

derstand it

k, things b

imbursements, inflated vendor quotes. I told myself it was tem

es mul

do sh

t began

as "urgent" that didn't include my name but might as well have. I told myself I had time. Tha

ow loud silence can become

nwhile, wa

rs later - sometimes not at all. He canceled plans. Left mid-conve

His attention was elsewhere. His eyes, once so locked on

ce, "Are you s

e instead o

ed that w

unra

not

He watched me differently. Not with suspicion

the living room. Our daughter was asleep. The house smelled l

id, "You've been wo

quarter. You

d, turned back to the cloth

hat moment. Not loud

d accepted a temporary consulting contract. A lot of remote h

to believe me. I t

ment chan

began to

offee cups on the counter

Stopped lingering after. Sometimes,

ill, I

I was chasing the version of myself th

mirror - bold,

isappeari

him, "Do you ever t

a request. I just needed to kno

ike I'd spoken a

ever the de

that hadn't just tor

built a world around it. A wo

ss frequently. My lies at work grew more elaborate. The investigation gre

lways s

I was blee

once felt like escape - and saw nothing but clutter. Half-empt

him. The mirror in the hall

t find myself

longer in

at w

the apa

in my o

tress forgets the lines. Where the stage lights b

ached th

lence was