THE SABOTEUR IN THE MIRROR

is a kind o

ven as the ground cr

elf I coul

e lies. I thought I could balance it all with the s

s wr

initiative." They didn't name names. Not yet. But I saw the signs. The shifting tone in em

," someone whisper

ents," read a memo I w

losing in.

-

ace was too calm, her smile too symmetrical. She offered

n administrative le

a nurse informing a patie

Profession

said. "I'll c

envelope. "Take t

ed was a ti

right. The world too loud. I walked three blocks

me. I went to

s I got in. My hands wer

him. I'm

. Not the full t

ait

rawled. Then

. You should try to work

. Reread it again. I thought it wa

it w

s the

e same carelessness he once

-

r how long I sa

he table had fully wilted, thei

ed. Screamed. T

I di

at my hands, realizing I

ight,

he poeti

bl

t it was heavier. Sharper.Different. My body was trying to

told the doctor it was probably horm

aug

me the test results

gna

e w

thout question

me

elope on my lap. I didn't op

where I dropped off my daughter. Past the restaurant

d different th

corner felt like a p

elling Ahmed. I t

pregn

delet

it a

s yo

ete

e say? What

wer. He had al

a silly

dn't te

t of r

f cla

ved to be chosen

o talk to me

sitting on the edge of the bed, his shoulders hunched

id. Just my nam

ait

silence

ask. I did

, "I hope you find whate

ized-he al

idn't accuse. He j

the har

the

surr

g the next mo

tation. I left a not

rry. I

different now. The walls echoed. The rooms smell

as g

w, so

ays b

ches. Checked my email obsessiv

ot family. I disappeared bene

r. The nausea. The fatigue. The

undoing wha

urvivi

the apartment. My belly barely showed. Just

n't used in months. Sat on the floor.

irst thing I did

simply.

what kind of

promis

ake you questi

l you the story of

ise you w

soft

ove that doesn't

that night w

irst time

g inside me had

he

forg

shif