Consequences
nd of
lf years that elapsed between those summer holidays at Fiveapples Farm and h
to miss Queenie less acutely than she had done when she first came home for the holidays, and with Qu
a's, and shrank from her advances unmistakably. She had very little in common with her French contemporaries, and knew that they thought her English
self-expression for her over-developed emotional capabilities produced in her a species of permanent discontent that reacted on her
lized system, and partly of her total lack of any int
lle a son air b
enterreme
not their fault that such pin-pricks stabbed her and sent her away t
, and received meagre and unsatisfactory replies, and then gradually the correspondence ceased altogether, and Alex only looked forward with an oc
ligion as understood at the convent. She prolonged her weekly confession, which had hitherto been a matter of routine to be got through as rapidly as possible, in order to ob
ed to her that she
would be displayed in the mediocrity which had all along been her portion. She had never been admitted to the virtuous society of the enfants de Marie, had never taken more th
ric's power of concentration, and her abilities were not such as to win her any
over the e
in the school. Alex could read the dates, and the proper names, and all the principal words on her history paper, and transferred them to her own,
gain next to Marie-Louise, and congratulated herself that the paper should be the literature one. Arithmetic, she knew, was not the strong p
down to say her prayers, she was sudd
ame between
nishment, could bridge-and even then, an indelible entry against one's name testified to eventual exposure and shame at some dreadful, inevitable assizes, when sins hidden and forgotten, large and small, of commission and omission alike, would be made kn
ed from the hot July morning, and the breaking-up, when the result
ing values in her mind, to remember that it was the day
ieve her failure in the afternoon was irresistible, when she
ency in the subject, strenuously taught to the convent pupils out of enormous old-fash
x f
uck her as inconvenient, and did not awake in her any fear of detection, when presently Marie-Louis
ing for the removal of the blotting-paper. Her eyes met those of a younger child, seated exactly opposite to her, whose sharp, dark gaze was fixed up
om her face and she
l which is the hall-mark of the habitual deceiver,
ed at the covering blotting-paper, and the ear and piece
Louise
een Alex cheat, and had no doubt co
, expulsion, all whirled through her mind and left no permanent im
f the morning, unconscious of the passage of time, onl
she found herself obliged to get up and move across th
malade, A
coeur," said
rn appearance so pityingly, that Alex burst into a flood of tears that relieved the tension of her body, and sent her, quivering, but
her, and the downfall of all her boastings to Barbara. No doubt God had abandoned one so unworthy of His forgiveness-but So
irs for the evening preparation, and Marie-Louise, a trusted enfant de Marie, obtained permission to s
ry tap of cold water, Marie-Louise conducted her
s mentally and emotionally far too much exhausted for any effort, and
e was not a
e full, when she informed Alex that no one should ever know of the lapse from her, provided that Ale
I say to her
had accomplished her duty and felt no further interest on the po
ask she l
ouble of confession to her class-mistress, and let her papers go in with the others. She knew that she would not get a high place, for her work all through the term had b
cably planted in Alex' soul that she had been born with a natural love of evil, and that goodness was an abstract attitude of mind to which she could never do more than aspire
already knew dimly, and with a further sense of having strange, low standar
n she wanted
forget it, she mostly remembered it as merely the culminating sc
iège witho
s and the streaming rain that defiled the summers; she had hated the endless restrictions and the minute system of surveillance that w
be different. She never doubted that with long dresses and piled-up hair, her whole personalit
theory that her "coming out" would usher in the realities of life, and nothing impressed her more with a sense of the tremendous i
or you, so there'll be nothin' to do but try on, but, of course, I shall have to see the things myself before they finish them, and tell them about the colours; they're sure to wa
les, then she'll be able to do it for you every evening. I expect she'll have to do it every day to begin with, but you must try and learn. I should like
rlers every night-thank Heaven, I've never had to. As a matter of fact, they say fringes are goin' out now, but I'm cer
ntrast between all this preoccupation with her clothes and her appearance, and the austere mental s
n't bear to have a daughter who didn't care about her things-some girls are like that-so disappoint
e was as full of eager anticipations as Lady Isabel could wish, but was too mu
endeavours to express, by means which were not spon
dancin' lessons before next year. Dancin' fashions alter so quickly now-a-days,"
o to balls-yet,
ies, and for the last few years she had been considered too old
be till the spring. But there may be one or two affairs in the
not to let yourself get freckled in the sun-and then, when you come back to town in October, you can have your hair properly put up, and come ab
tant. She had never been the ce
was the culminating point to which
d her with a rather
is eldest sister's marked tendency to assume ai
and his "removes" succeeded one another with a rapidity only
nful of girls in general and of his sisters in particular, although he played wil
slyness characteristic of her in certain
ftily. "Didn't she have a sister who was bosom fri
d at the implication of the evanescent
September at the seasi
dged sufficiently protected from the profane gaze of possible trippers. But she had all the time the sense that these hot, leisurely
cis started for Scotland had rather disappointed A
t pavement, so that she dragged herself rather than walked, or stood on one foot so as to save the other, which had vex
lly become very beautiful, and it vexed and surprised her to find that her new frocks, still in a very incompleted stage, did not at once produce any startling cha
es just at present, Móddam, I'm afraid-at le
sk-how very vexin'. Really, the nuns must have been very careless to let
ything at all," chimed in Madame Marguerite most impressively. "It will simply be rui
htened hers
tle frock, the whole th
rably unequal to the resp
with its weight of elaborate yellow waves well on one side as she gazed at Alex, ha
le may fill out a b
all over, and she had gone back to the old blue co
here was the daily strugg
her unskilful hands, displayed a strong tendency to slip down the back of her neck. And however much she might brush and pull her hair over it, the
joyed those last schoolroom days of
formation would be effected, she was convinced that everything which she had