Consequences
ho
marked by a series o
asses when she wished to gain the approbation of an attractive class-mistress, and idle and inattentive when she want
Torrance beautiful, though her beauty did not strike Alex until after she had fallen a helpless victim to one
daughter in valediction, "but remember that exclusive friendships are not to be desired. Friendly
e and inordinate of attachments lay within the scope of Alex' emotional c
ing in return. Practically she suffered tortures of jealousy if the loved one addressed a word or smile to any but
convent made very little impression upon her, excepting in re
erve to recall the vivid presentment of the tall Belgian postulante whose duty it was to apply it with a huge mop, and whom, from a distance only to
of the daily three o'clock interval for go?ter, with Queenie Torrance pacing beside her in the garden quadrangle, one hand of each rolled
vening recreation, spent in the enforced and detested amusement of la ronde, when her only preoccupation was to place herself by the object of her
Alex long after the words had lost the savour of
horrible
postula
sup
e une
comble
oeur de c
ory of the great square verger, in the middle of gravelled alleys, brought to her mind for sole token of summer, only her horror of the immense pa
e in the world, only
ing in it all the misapplication of an essential f
ction and for her prodigality in bestowing it. She was like a child
ter were the in
iculate, unreasoned adoration for the Belgian postulante. But the Belgian postulante was never v
return. Alex knew it, and recklessly spent all her weekly pocket-money on flowers and sweets for Marie-Angèle, thinking that the gifts would touch her and awaken in her an affection that it was not her nature to bestow, least o
for your f
u for my
one-sided relations into which Alex entered so ra
old to look after her, and went to the task with a certain na?ve eagerness, that she always brought to bear upon any personal equation. In an hour, she was secretly combating an enraptured
hair which fell back from her face, and over her shoulders into natural heavy ringlets. She was not very pretty, although she was often thought so, but she was charged with a certain animal magnetism, almost inseparable from her type. Half the girls in the school adored
Lady Isabel Clare's daughter was likely to a
difficulties for her idol, Queenie at first received with a graceful gratitude which yet held in
thing, and received with eager thankfulness
caressing exclamations. Hers was not a nature ever to make
to discourage a love, however one-sided, that found its expression in tireless sympathy, endless championship, and unlimited material gifts and help of any or every description. Alex did all that she could of Queenie's lessons, made her bed and mended her clothes for her whenever she
is a liar, and that all liars go to Hell. Yet by some utterly illogical perversity of which she was hardly even aware, it did not shock or very much distress her, to find that Queenie Torrance told lies, and told them, moreover,
ere apparently no abstract standards of right and wrong. Where she loved, thou
gratifying her vanity, by seeking to test the length
one here, and they all sent me to C
, of c
were in
ence. In fact, you'd need it m
claimed. "If I were in the wro
eople who are in the wrong who need most to have their part take
much idea of justice, Al
for her own impiety in setting the objects of her affection far above what she conceived to be the abstract standard of right and
x sometimes review the s
of elementary religious teaching put her at a disadvantage in the convent atmosphere, and made its frequent religious services and instructions
ish Assistant Superior would so willingly have extended to her youthful compatriot were alike without effect upon Alex. She was not drawn to any of the
ed, if not admittedly sanctioned, by the authorities. It would almost inevitably have led Alex to an awakening of religious sensibilities and the desirability o
e Baptiste and Marie Evangeliste of her convent days with indifference, and devote he
upon by no one, and thereb
t infringement of rules to which Alex' pursuit exposed her, but-one could not be unkind. She did not know why Alex Clare showed her especial affection-she herself had done nothing to encourage these indiscreet displays. Of course, it w
C'est Alex qui vous recherche malgré
admitted of no loophole for open defiance or outspoken rebuke, Alex' evasions of that law of detachment which is the primary one in convent legislation, beca
to obtain Alex as companion at la ronde, or when they played games in the garden. She never infringed one of the strictest rules of th
erceived, and cut Alex to the heart by telling her sometimes that she made it very hard fo
nie's bent profile in the chapel, utterly unconscious of the scandal which her manifest idolatry was creating for the severe nun in the carved stall opposite. She was scolded, placed under strict obser
is, and nicknamed by the children "the Last Judgment," was held in the Grande Salle downstairs, with the Superior making her state entry after the children had been decorously
rrying a sheaf of notes and a great book, which each pupil firmly believed t
ce, spoke a few words of prayer, and settled herself in the
class were read aloud and each mite stood up in her place for all the universe to gaze at her, while the
emière en géographie ... calcul, beaucoup mie
bonne
curls bobbing over her face, is pink with gratification. Her young class-mi
elle se corrige de cette vilaine habitude de mor
ites voir.... V
eshly washed tiny pink hands thrust ou
us ferez bien attention a
, every one laughs, and then the ser
ly from the Superior. Then their class-mistress claps her hands smartly and they get up and file out of the ro
ess, taking no trouble over her lessons, worst of all, taking no trouble to cure
chapel, Ma Mè
it is against all rules, it is extre
bon of an aspirante enfant de Marie until she has reformed her ways. The mention of a premiè
s of the moyenne division of the school, with very fe
a name to which the reader, a French woman, always takes excepti
cular séance, the April one, she took her glances more or less surreptitiously, miserably aware
on or talent alike. But her perfectly serene complacency was more or less justified by the exaggerated applause of her companions at h
s independent of anythi
rward and asked a que
ère Supéri
e purport, was emphatic. She felt glad and relieved, but had
Mère Alphonsine sonoro
egard of the rule of silence, and frequent bad marks for disorder and unpunctuality. But to the accusations which she knew by heart, and sha
innie sans cesse, m
ing the years when Alex Clare and her contemporaries were at school, can ga
e homilies, some of them pityingly reproachful, and others explanatorily so, on the same
rine that fell from her stiff, hard, white collar to the shapeless waistband of her skirt, th
ee of the mistresses add each her quota, for the most part regretfully and wi
rself next to Queenie at almost ev
s folly get the better of her-one can see how she
charges
spoken to her with kindness and tenderness; in private, had reasoned with her and finally threatened h
lightning-swift flash of reproach that had sho
this public coupling of her immaculate reputatio
thout hearing further blame or reproach, without encountering the ridicule of her companions or the cold withdrawal of
being is the blackest in the world, be
of an inexpressible guilt upon her, and all the utter isolation of
rlornly that an accusation mattered nothing if unjust, since the consciousne
nd shamefully she supposed, without volition of her own she knew, amongst those standards to which the right thinking conformed, and which she, on
e was as colourless as eve
ess in her direction, but Queenie passed on to the refectory wher
hopeless loneliness, which made up Alex' schooldays, t
that strangled her and broke in spite of all her efforts into the decorous silence of the refectory, even the awed and
own and told Alex that she might leave the table. The long progress down the en
swept over her was to ebb and f
t bitter wave to engulf her, and each time add to the undermining
of outlook rather more overshadowed, her childish strength less steady, and, above all, set fast in her childish mind the ineradicable,