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In Pastures New

Chapter 3 WITH MR. PEASLEY IN DARKEST LONDON

Word Count: 3062    |    Released on: 01/12/2017

ned to hurry on to Paris, but he has been waiting here for his t

t deck and gave encouraging information to a man from central Illinois who was on his first trip abroad. Mr

s me of a funny thing I once saw in Munich." He did not practise to deceive, and yet he gave strangers the i

asley as a modern Marco Polo, and Mr

mphal arch of evergreen bearing the words, 'Welcome, Americans!' Possibly the band will not be out this morning, because it is Sunday and the weather is threatening, but the Reception Committee will be on hand. If we can take time before starting for London no doubt a committee from the Commercial Club will h

ng grewsomely on the dock as the tender came alongside. He stood by the gangplank and scrutinised us carefully as we filed ashore. The Illi

ed there was a rush somewhat like the opening of an Oklahoma reservation. In ten minutes the trunks had been passed and were being trundled out to the special train. Above the babel of voices and the rattle of wheels arose the sounds of lamentation

thither, looking into all sorts of impossible places, while the locomotive bell rang warningly, and the guard begged Mr. Peasley to get aboard if he wished to go to London. Mr. Peasley took off his hat and leaned his head back and howled for his trunk. The train started and Mr. Peasley, after

ed for h

Peasley. "If the trunk did not come ashore you could not reasonably

all the way over. Other people got their trunks, didn't they? Have you heard of any German being shy a trunk? Has anybody else lost anything?

d it out

put on board at Hob

t couldn't speak any English to check it for me. Then I saw it l

et a recei

d, and right

ded a receipt about the size of a one-sheet poster. On top was a number and beneath it s

tter, but he said it was a mistake, because he had

your trunk has

is Ha

the imagination conceive the possibility of a person starting for anywhere

bserved Mr. Peasley; "the clothes

After two days came a message couched in Volapuk or some other hybrid combin

it is regarded as a passable apology for evening dress, provided the wearer wishes to advertise himself as a lonesome "stag." But in London there is no compromise. In every hotel lobby or dining-room, every restaurant, theatre or music hall, after the coagulated fog of the daytime settles into the opaque gloom of night, there is but one style of dress for any morta

fur caps. The trousers bag and the coat collars are bunched in the rear and all the shoes seem about two sizes too large. Occasionally you see a man on his way to a train and he wears a shapeless bag of a garment made of some loosely

inary American who owns an open-faced suit is that he wears it only about once a month. For two days before assuming the splendour of full dress he broods over the approaching ordeal. As the fateful night draws near he counts up his studs and investigates the "white vest" situation.

own" and "

a wide gash," as he very prettily termed it, plenty of good money from Iowa burning in hi

urant the head waiter would give him one quick and searching glance and then put him off in some corner, behind a palm.

r hat con

." He said that as soon as his swell duds arrived he was going to put them on and revisit all of the places

ica is a modification and overdevelopment of the Rugby game as played in Great Britain. The Association, or "Seeker" game, which is now being introduced in the United States as a counter-irritant for the old-fashioned form of manslaughter, is by far

llege games during October and November of each year. In Great Britain

et the game unless we belong to the minority that is

5,000. There were two games at each of which the attendance was over thirty thousand, with the receipts exceeding $5,000. A very conservative estimate of the total attendance at the games played on this Saturday would be five hundred thousand. In other words, on one Saturday afternoon in February the attendance at football games was equal t

ch means that it was the most terrible day that the imagination can picture-a dark, chilly, drippy day, with frequent d

nd description, seventeen thousand spectators atte

f the game. It was a huge crowd, but the prevailing spirit of solemnity worried Mr. Peasley. He spoke to a native standing alongside of him and asked:-"What's the matter w

bbons at a football gam

nto the exercises," suggested Mr. Pe

a football game? In what manner is vocal music

'em up, boys,' 'Kill 'em in their tracks,' and 'Buck through the line.' What's the use of com

are

Peasley, turning to us. "A fo

imless directions. Mr. Peasley said it was a mighty poor excuse for football. No one was knocked out; there was no bucking the line; there didn't even seem to be a doctor in evidence. We could not

are making?" asked Mr. Peasley, turning

heering," w

are

eer

the next township. We put cracks in the azure dome. Cheering! Why, a game of croquet in the court house yard is eight times as thrilling as this thing

Peasley one hopeless

. An English cheer is not the ear-splitting demoniacal shriek, such as an

loud grunt, or a sort of gut

ound is similar to that made by a

report, reading about as follows: "The gentleman hoped the house would not act with haste. (Cheers). He

ntinuous "rough house," but we looked in one day and it is more li

grounds. Mr. Peasley hurried after them, thinking that possibly someone had started a fight on the side and

worse than the liquor habit. Do you know, when the final judgment day comes and Gabriel blows his horn and all of humanity is bunched up, waitin' for the sheep to be cut out from the goats and put

Peasley that one team or the other had won by three goals to not

ley, "and I will take you to

ed to the "tu

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In Pastures New
In Pastures New
“Dodo Collections brings you another classic from George Ade 'In Pastures New.''In Pastures New' is a humorous account of travels, chiefly in London and Egypt. Many of the letters appearing in this volume were printed in a syndicate of newspapers in the early months of 1906. With these letters have been incorporated extracts from letters written to the Chicago Record in 1895 and 1898.George Ade (February 9, 1866 – May 16, 1944) was an American writer, newspaper columnist, and playwright. Ade's literary reputation rests upon his achievements as a great humorist of American character during an important era in American history: the first large wave of migration from the countryside to burgeoning cities like Chicago, where, in fact, Ade produced his best fiction. He was a practicing realist during the Age of (William Dean) Howells and a local colorist of Chicago and the Midwest. His work constitutes a vast comedy of Midwestern manners and, indeed, a comedy of late 19th-century American manners. In 1915, Sir Walter Raleigh, Oxford professor and man of letters, while on a lecture tour in America, called George Ade "the greatest living American writer.Ade's fiction dealt consistently with the "little man," the common, undistinguished, average American, usually a farmer or lower middle class citizen. (He sometimes skewered women, too, especially women with laughable social pretensions.) Ade followed in the footsteps of his idol Mark Twain by making expert use of the American language. A striking and unique feature of Ade's essays was the creative and liberal use of capitalization. George Ade is one of the American writers whose publications made him rich.”
1 Chapter 1 GETTING ACQUAINTED WITH THE2 Chapter 2 A LIFE ON THE OCEAN WAVE, WITH MODERN VARIATIONS3 Chapter 3 WITH MR. PEASLEY IN DARKEST LONDON4 Chapter 4 HOW IT FEELS TO GET INTO LONDON5 Chapter 5 AS TO THE IMPORTANCE OF THE PASSPORT6 Chapter 6 WHAT ONE MAN PICKED UP IN LONDON7 Chapter 7 HOW AN AMERICAN ENJOYS LIFE FOR8 Chapter 8 A CHAPTER OF FRENCH JUSTICE AS DEALT9 Chapter 9 THE STORY OF WHAT HAPPENED TO AN AMERICAN CONSUL10 Chapter 10 MR. PEASLEY AND HIS VIVID IMPRESSIONS OF FOREIGN PARTS11 Chapter 11 CAIRO AS THE ANNUAL STAMPING GROUND FOR AMERICANS12 Chapter 12 ROUND ABOUT CAIRO, WITH AND WITHOUT13 Chapter 13 ALL ABOUT OUR VISIT TO THE PYRAMID OF CHEOPS14 Chapter 14 DASHING UP THE NILE IN COMPANY WITH MR. PEASLEY AND OTHERS15 Chapter 15 DAY BY DAY ON THE DROWSY NILE. WITH16 Chapter 16 THE MOHAMMEDAN FLY AND OTHER CREATURES LIVING ALONG THE NILE17 Chapter 17 IN AND AROUND LUXOR, WITH A SIDE18 Chapter 18 THE ORDINARY HUMAN FAILINGS OF THE ANCIENT MOGULS19 Chapter 19 ROYAL TOMBS AND OTHER PLACES OF AMUSEMENT20 Chapter 20 MR. PEASLEY AND HIS FINAL SIZE-UP OF EGYPT