Always Alone

nia, Goias,

for a lot of people, on our side there is a low and wide table and on it snacks, small sandwiches, thin slices of a type of salami with a great face, doritos and a lot of sauces of several colors. Laura gets up and g

ref

smell like

u think hap

t for our sake we

ow

looks

ity camera

f the house and

Vit

wake up

the oth

ou give him

thing, he'll w

erate like Vitor, but nothing happens in here. We arrive at the gate and go inside, the monitors are on, Laura sits down in front of the computer and chooses the monitor that shows the highway in f

aura and let

, a car stopped at the gate with the security guard checking the driver's documents as

n the securit

king at th

thing, he'll w

in?" I should be as desperate as Vitor, but nothing happens in here. We arrive at the gate and go inside, the monitors are on, Laura sits down in front of the computer and chooses the monitor that shows the hi

aura and let

, a car stopped at the gate with the security guard checking the driver's documents as

n the securit

king at th

he security guard. One moment he's looking at the docu

go any

n the wind. We look at other cameras in the condo and where there were people the same thin

bered so

was it

then typing in a user and password, opens th

t's

stored in this hous

he video, the same as the security videos from the condo, at exactly ten thi

uc

and lean against the wall, I can't hide that this reaction scare

shit happened for thousands of miles. It's

aura, i

ain that I always use, my teleportation,

s this,

reds of live cameras in vari

avenue, the one wi

ndemonium of cars crashing on the sidewa

a, try Au

ancun, Helsinki, Beijing. Laura takes a truncheon that is on the table and g

au

d the word in a movie, wild I remembered, it was wild like my mothe

people ov

cheon and approaches me

e is

k is Tim

d, with their cell phones on their faces, calling or, like us, trying to c

y sh

wall. She walks over and

sor

g the low table full of snacks closer. I take the doritos and a jar with a green sauce that tastes like avocado, I place it between us and start to e

pagne, it's sp

r without un

mind,

a sip and give it back. Slowly and silently

stopped in the mi

wrong,

the middle of the

at

om a job in Brasilia, that thing cau

they es

ília are also silent and the phones th

her hand on

ther in the world, but she wa

Wh

see her again. I want to scream like Vitor, cry, but I don't, nothing. I'm an as

econd hug after a long seaso

way. Not everyone is the

fte

mother died. She was the only t

o a fuck in

can't imagine what it was like to live in that house. Breathing was a sin, and I was never an

did yo

re, you know. My father went crazy, my mother put up with the worst of it, it was alwa

id she

uldn't cry either, I felt like that too, anesthetized. After th

were able

ay, I sat on a curb and cried, ou

the doritos with gravy. I can't tell

thing oka

go up and down. She knew all their names, she dreamed of being an air hostess, but it didn't work out, I don't really know why. It didn't happen overnight, slowly and without anyon

a la

houlders an

every day, in the beginning she hid it from me and Grandma, and after a while she didn't even ma

llar of my shirt, s

it

head po

and never came back. Her mother disappeared for days, and if it wasn't for Vitor's mother, Grandma would have been buried in a public grave. A w

o go through what you

e didn't know how she could be the mo

ks at me

'I only did one good thing in this life a

lieve

t think twice before killing the bastard. I kee

lap. She begins to pat me. I can't remember ever talking this much in my life, not about mys

nia, Goias,

New York, there must be more people. Second: elaborate a strategy of action. I get up and open my purse, a well-prepared person is worth it on her own. I take off my shoes, sit down by the pool and take a stash of marijuana and slowly and unwillingly roll a joint while I think about the options. The more I think about it the less I k