Always Alone

Goiani

ost amazing thing in the world. I can only wonder why I ca

need to t

om the half-destroyed and completely scribbled desks of the classroom with dirty and peeling walls. Vitor is the last to leave, he looks at me apprehensively and indicates with his eyes that he will wait for me outside. I also reply with my eyes that I might be in tro

trust me. Don't

someone says you can trust them, you

the marks

ying dumb. I forgot about these ma

our b

than she is. She could just leave me alone, ignore me like all the other teachers do. I am an expert at bein

skateboa

n a cow on a ska

off a sk

ook bruised

ou a d

t trying

s been a long time since anyone has touched me with a

n I

Felipe,

ly looking at the bruises on the back of my neck. At the door of the school a skinny boy with black sk

my back

fore, purple, kind of yellowish and the red welts and kind of inflamed,

alking, he is very goo

notices, I told you, she's very slow and she

riously a

uring aga

my hea

t did you

my h

did, she cou

't, no o

t school are already assholes imagine the guys at these shelters. The guys there must

what you're talki

her d

ghed t

t to eat at

our mom

f one of the neighbors of her boss. To pay for the pre

re still two

is also in first grade, he studies all day and it is with

ou start t

t we

uccessfully to send a hardflip. Vitor steps

dle of the tail to the outside, and when it's a

and fall apar

appy dumb

n spend the afternoon there. Now get

e rest a bit. Then Vitor makes me do the housework, I help him clean the house and we spread out on the couch while he talks about

say that you don

, Vic

er threw, I think it was

g to get all that soa

throw a party l

ss, Vitor knows me too wel

man, me and

ot your

to her after w

r she walks out the other. Even when she was taking care of me, she avoided my eyes. I nod my hea

ucked u

you do it's h

ile. Vitor s

est is

or. Auntie shou

ou tom

n't want some crazy guy disappearin

prob

packing plant that closed about five years ago. I insist on sending a hardflip, no matter how hard I try, it doesn't come out. The back foot from the middle to the outside of the tail, kicki

ying Hard

my hea

member it's a h

e and

ake it. I be

d and yet almost every morning I see her working out and smoking pot alone in the square and no one dares to get close. What else can I say about her, she is a redhead, but not a real redhead and has a little red devil with little horns and wings drawn on the back of her head. And she is always kind to me, as few people in this neig

for it, see yo

e y

abandonment and ruin. I stop in front of her room, the same noises as always. Knocking, scraping, vacuuming, the annoying scratching of lighters and that damned whispered conversation. I go to my room, close the door and turn on the flashlight on my cell phone, an old lg that I got from a lady at the market for helping her with her shopping. I open my trunk and check my stash: three bananas and half a

u drunk

f his pocket, turns on his fl

me to get

with him kicking a guy out of the house, I didn't have the courage to leave the room, but from what I heard he beat

e skin, the same blond hair, and the same gree

my eyes to

the fair, carrying

head affi

ke you could be making a l

look

he advantage is that you don't have to do anything, just be very qui

r and the son of a bi

ten a stray? I don't know you

I'm not proud to say that I've never been so scared in my life and I'm holding myself back from crying, the only way out is through the door t

going

e kitchen and comes towards me, for the first time in a lon

ou a quest

e, with an icy,

, nothing is

he last time I was

ith your little boy, trying to g

ooks

ip

H

yourself

lose and hugs me, while staring at Jorge. At first I am startled by the sudden and unexpected gesture, she smells my hair and kisses my fo

to wash thi

ight on my cell phone and hide in the ha

at the fuc

u talking ab

terrified, I'm not a fool, I may be cra

Marta, your kid is

rson, not really. You o

tand this conve

n know how someone like me could be the mother of a

tries to hu

there

something metal scra

e, don't trip on

you're my best girl, I didn't ride

being thrown into the sink and footst

at job, great st

n't you have anythi

es the nor

city is better than here, the on

, not Granny, I don't know where she got that coat hanger, I can still hear the whirring sound it made as she lifted it up and down on me again, I protected my face and head with my arms as she hit me in the back. She screamed, that's what I remember most, more than the pain, more than the shame, I remember her screaming. She hit until she lost her strength or until I blacked out, I don't know what happened first. When I woke up I was in my bed, my room was clean, I was showered, and the bruises on my back were clean and medicated. My back was as Vitor described, for two days I barely got out of bed. She brought me food and medicine, she took care of me, in her own way, but she did, you might think I was very angr

ming to y

T

work, I was going to call you to sleep over. It suck

in some cr

a note out of my pocket and hand i

at me sus

you get t

s weasel fac

No offense

moth

at's gotten

counter to get a sandwich an

ell me what g

going on in the kitchen, tha

o somethi

re, are you ta

oking at me, I

ved just in time, she gave me

ble for you to continu

ome. There's nowher