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 Three Men in a Boat

Three Men in a Boat

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Chapter 1 

Word Count: 3427    |    Released on: 18/11/2017

IONS. - CURE FORLIVER COMPLAINT IN CHILDREN. - WE AGREE THAT WE ARE OVERWORKED, AND NEEDREST. - A WEEK ON THE ROLLING DE

f,and Montmorency. We were sitting in my room, smoking, and talking ab

edy, and we were getting

giddiness too, and hardly knew what HE was doing. Withme, it was my liver that was out of order. I knew it was my liver thatwas out of order, because I had jus

to the conclusion that I amsuffering from the particular disease therein dealt with in its mostvirulent f

ad all I came to read; and then, in anunthinking moment, I idly turned the leaves, and began to indolentlystudy diseases, generally. I forget which was the first distemper Ipl

over the pages. I came to typhoid fever - readthe symptoms - discovered that I had typhoid fev

nd sostarted alphabetically - read up ague, and learnt that I was sickeningfor it, and that the acute stage would commence in about anotherf

vebeen born with. I plodded conscientiously through the twenty-sixletters

ailed. Ireflected that I had every other known malady in the pharmacology, and Igrew less selfish, and determined to do without housemaid's knee. Gout,in its most malignant stage, it would appear, had

sting case I must be from amedical point of vi

hey had me. Iwas a hospital in myself. All they need do wou

art. It had stopped beating. I have sincebeen induced to come to the opinion that it must have been there all thetime, and must have been beating, but I cannot account for it. I pattedmyself all over my front, from what I call my waist up to my head, and Iwent a bit round each side, and a little way up the

ng-room a happy, healthy man.

e, and talks about the weather, all for nothing,when I fancy I'm ill; so I thought I would do h

dred of yourordinary, commonplace patients, with only one or tw

s the matter w

finished. But I will tell you what is NOT the matter with me. I havenot got housemaid's knee. Why I have not got housemaid's knee, I canno

expecting it - a cowardlything to do, I call it - and immediately afterwards butted me with theside of his head. After

ook it to the nearest ch

it, and then

he didn'

sa

a chemist

ily hotelcombined, I might be able to oblige you. Being o

, with1 pt. bitter

le walk ev

11 sharp

d."I followed the directions, with the happy result - speaking

to work of any kind."What I suffer in that way no tongue can tell. From my earliest infancy Ihave been a martyr to it. As a boy, the disease hardly ever left

d say, "get up and dosomething for your living, ca

oftencured me - for the time being. I have known one clump on the head havemore effect upon my liver, and make me feel more anxious t

old-fashioned remedies aresometimes more

how I felt when I got up in themorning, and William Harris told us how he felt when he went to bed; andGeorge st

t there's never anything reall

we supposed we hadbetter try to swallow a bit. Harris said a little something in one'sstomach often kept the disease in check;

he firsthalf-hour or so, I seemed to take no interest whatever in

state of health. What it was that was actually thematter with us, we none of us could be sure

ant is rest,

m. Changeof scene, and absence of the necessity for thought, will restore themental equilibrium."George has a cousin, who is usual

away a sunnyweek among its drowsy lanes - some half-forgotten nook, hidden away bythe fairies, out of reach of the noisy world - s

ce I meant; where everybody went to bed at eight o'clock, and youcouldn't

ip."I objected to the sea trip strongly. A sea trip does you good when yo

pher Columbus all rolled intoone. On Tuesday, you wish you hadn't come. On Wednesday, Thursday, andFriday, you wish you were dead. On Saturday, you are able to swallow alittle beef tea, and to sit up on deck, and answer with a wan, sweetsmile when kin

of his health. He took a return berth from London to Liverpool;and when he got

was eventually sold for eighteenpence to a bilious-looking youth whohad ju

lifetime; and asfor exercise! why, you'll get more exercise, sitting down on that ship,than you would turning somersaults on

efore they started, the steward came to him to ask whether he would pay

hcheaper. He said they would do him for the whole week at two pounds

r at six - soup,fish, entree, joint, poultry, salad, swe

ose on the two-pound-five job (

iled beef,and some strawberries and cream. He pondered a good deal during theafternoon, and at one time it seemed to him that he had bee

berries and cream seemed happy,

e of thattwo-pound-five to be worked off, and he held on to ropes and things andwent down. A pleasant odour of onions and hot ham,

sir?""Get me out of thi

k, and propped him up, ove

he captain)and soda-water; but, towards Saturday, he got uppish, and went in forweak tea and dry toast, and on Monday he was gorgi

ood on board that belongs to me, and that I haven't had."He said that if

queer. But I was afraid for George. George saidhe should be all right, and would rather like i

gedto get sick at sea - said he thought people must do it on purpose, f

was so rough that the passengers had to be tied into their berths, and he

not ill; but it wasgenerally he and one other man.

whole boat-loads of them;but I never met a man yet, on land, who had ever known at all what it wasto be sea-sick. Wher

eming enigma easily enough. It was just offSouthend Pier, I recollect, and he was leaning out

ulder. "You'll beoverboard.""Oh my! I wish I was," was

room of a Bath hotel,talking about his voyages, an

young man's envious query;"well, I did feel a li

wrecked the nex

ne day, and wanted to bethrown overboard?""South

respectable boat. Did youhave any?"For myself, I have discovered an excellent preventive against sea-sickness, in balancing myself. You stand in the centre of the deck, and,as the ship heaves and pitches, you move your body about, so as to kee

orge

the constant changeof scene would occupy our minds (including what there was of

anything that would have atendency to make him sl

seeing that there were only twenty-four hours ineach day, summer and winter alike; but thought

t a sixpenny one, which includes bread-and-butter and cake AD LIB., and is cheap at the price, i

ideaof George's; and we said it in a tone that seemed to somehow imp

the suggestion was Montmorency. Henever

you fellows," he says; "

t stop; and if I go to sleep, you getfooling about with the boat, and slop me overboard. If you ask m

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