What If We Love Again

SEPTEMBER 2023

ANISE POV

I braced myself and walked ahead to the door, before knocking lightly. I asked myself if I knocked lightly because I was nervous, or because the right thing to do wasn’t to go hitting hard on people’s doors. After a few seconds, I knocked again and waited to be answered. Finally, the door opened to reveal Jake, and I could tell he was more shocked than surprised to see me.

“Anise?” he uttered, his voice barely audible. It was clear that my unexpected presence had caught him off guard. I could see the wheels turning in his mind, trying to comprehend why I was standing at his doorstep. I had left for years before making this decision. He probably thought he wasn’t going to see me again for the rest of his life. Little did he know I was here to torment him in the worst possible way. I wasn’t happy about that, but I had no choice as well. I couldn’t keep my daughter away from her father any longer.

I took a deep breath, gathering my thoughts as I looked into his eyes. There was a myriad of emotions swirling within me, but determination fueled my words. “ Hey.” I smiled, but he couldn't bring himself to reciprocate it. Instead, he asked the question I had been expecting, though not so quickly.

“ What are you doing here?” He asked. Even in his state of shock, I still couldn’t help but notice how broader his shoulders had become. How he appeared taller, and the way he towered over me, made me feel so small.

“yeah…ermmmm..I ermm….”

“Anise, just tell me what the issue is.” He rushed out impatiently, looking back to see if someone was coming. Was there a woman in his house? Why was he acting so fidgety?

He stepped aside, feeling the need to be lenient, and silently invited me into his home.

We settled into the living room, the atmosphere heavy with unspoken words and unresolved emotions. I began to carefully put my words together. Wondering the right time to let them out. I knew I had a lot to say but that was before I showed up at his doorstep unexpectedly. Now, my words began to fail me making it difficult to start a conversation.

“ why did you leave?” He asked with his gaze fixed on me. His words hung in the air, heavy with longing and a hint of pain. I searched his eyes, seeing the raw vulnerability within them, and I knew that I owed him an honest answer.

Taking a deep breath, I gathered my thoughts and began to speak, my voice trembling slightly. I shared the reasons behind my departure and the complexities of life that had led me down a different path. I spoke of the internal battles I had fought, the doubts and fears that had consumed me.