What We Want

as I looked up to see

as I immediately touched my fac

rs to go back. I can't afford to be in a more messy situation than I am alrea

med at him. They did nothing to me though but I thrashed them and that made me feel sorry as I punished myself more. I think day after day, I loose a good piece of myself, I've become worse , I've become unsettling

and let my dinner burn? Or go on the sidewalk and not realize I'd worn the wrong pair of shoes? Or go to the grocery store to pick up a few things only to walk out forgetting to pay for my groceries? Or even cry not knowing when I do?" I whispered the last part. I was almost tagged a thief back at that grocery store,

and he sure as hell didn't deserve my resolution to not want anything to do with him or any other man at that. That was when I became aware of my already piling emotions towards him

at him. "I can't successfully describe your pain but I know what it fe

the drunk driver." He seemed to swallow a lump in his throat. My heart dipped for him. "I couldn't save her, she died in my arms.. I watched her slip out of consciousness and I did nothing". He sucked in a breath. "For 5 years, I let myself be tormented of the memory, my business

ed with tints of his experiences and the fact that they now contribute in defining his dark orbs that locked with mine and I guess he found a way and he's now crawling out of

ls. It'll be hard and difficult and daunting, I know, but that'll have more effect when you don't have someone to go through it with you.

knows. What do you call that? He looked so sure and determined and that made me even more stuck to my shell. His determ

. I can't let you do that." I looked down

? Am I just another notch of his to make him feel better and attain freedom from his painful past? Is he or will he be another "Abel" in the course of time in my life? Despite the already building up feelings that I str

e you're trapped in the past, you won't be able to escape because you won't see the door'. I'm reminded of it because I'm distinguishly trapped and I certainly don't

under the shower to wash myself. If only pain or even the past could be dissolved and washed awa