36 Years Old

lady of 95 years. My body is young

hildren's love. They fill my heart with love every second of the day. There is no

some, it could mean an entire life, for some

w I have much more to live, to accomplish, and to se

ow I wouldn't be where I am if I hadn't taken that path. Everyone makes bad dec

ng a ladder, if you put your foot on a broken step and realize that it is broken you wou

e of person who tries her best to live in the present, but the past is so heavy that it pulls me back, to relive ma

is that I am not even sure I still have on

kindness. I used to put my soul into everything that I did, and give it to anyone in my l

o I can breathe normally... I feel the need to yell, to scream from the bottom of my lungs, to cry out all the pro

at hides deep inside me, it is too dangerous. Too much pain has gathered, enough for an atomic bomb that can erase everyt

a massive hysteria. I tend to be aggressive when too much is getting out of my soul, make yelling crises, throw things, and try to h

at isn't such a bad idea, thinking about the future, but not too much, like spending all day long for a long time just thinking about it. No, you can think about the future and make a theoretical plan and try to stick with it, altho

ssful people. And I agree with that, I believe in equality, everyone can speak their mind, everyone can choose their path in li

put it like that and I enjoy working on it. I work as a Virtual Assistant on several freelancing platforms, I have recently become an author, a

thing, find a passion, get a job, or chase a

nce, and many dreams accomplished. But for the ones with a similar situation t

put my thoughts on paper, my

The now? This day,

re of that. Because we all are unique, there

s special, perfect thr

live, without thinking about tomorrow. Do your best now, do what you

n be happy and fulfilled now, but in the next 5 minute

are still on this earth we need to experience all kinds of states, it is the only way to grow, to become more powerful. Th

get the chance to live

I thank God for everything. I know better times will come and that I need to be strong and live in this moment, no matter h

s like to have three children and not have the ability to

thing is to never lose hope. That is the only thing that can keep

lost my hope and it is like I can not see the light at the end of the tunnel.

pushes us to become better, and stronger, to und

se I know people that would have dreamed to get to this age

to be 8 years old, so yes 36 years old it can be a

I keep saying I am proud of it because I have lived

ave always expressed myself much better in writing in English. It may be weird, yes, because I am a native Romanian, but I

bout me? I have no idea, but here I am putting my soul into this keyboar

to get out of my shell. I am not sure though; I mean, I can

all my thoughts and I am so nervous, but I can act so good, you could swear

ust live day by day and watch my children grow. God, they grow so fast! There are times that I can not believe I do have t

k out, but I will tell you more about that in the next chapter, wh

st of the time I am not. The thing is I am too tired to fight or to look for someone else. And I am a busy woman, I need to take care

ng a long time ago. But I guess it is much better because now I can say I have the experience to write because

d to help out. You are right, it is tough, but like every woman going through this kind of situation, I find my strength

o have a purpose is for childr

man writes only about her children the most, what about h

or them, but I also try to live life for myse

ng more positive thoughts, as recently I have had quite

way too anxious and I know that it is not healthy, there are days when I am certai

e, as I was stupid enough to gamble on them. Yes, I have a serious gambling

new account at a different casino where I was lucky enough from the first depos

to never worry about money,

fe, there has to be a problem, even for wealthy people, they must have something to worry ab

gist really help us? Does talking actually help? I would rather be writing, it is not as if I have the money

am so m

better, I try to get up every day and do everything that is expected of m

aking Superbet, Pokerstars, and Winbet. Yep, those are my

for the payments that are in my father's name. He got me some loans

end, with fifty percent interest. It is like taking a loan from an online bank so it is perfectly f

that because we have gone through a really bad period, recently by having food on our table because of his dad's and brother's mercy, to say it like that. If it wouldn't have been for the kids, I would have never received something out of mercy, I am way too proud to accept help. I

l be ok, struggling so I won't start crying as well. I was afraid that if I will start crying I won't be able to stop and maybe get sick

I said that we need to go together as it wasn't just his fault, it was mine too. There is no such thing in couples as only one is

nd apologized to both of them, had a group hug, telling them that everything will be alrig

t marriage. I got divorced when they were only one and three years old. And

o it means going out to do some groceries, which my husband usually does every day; or when I go with my husban

he kids so we can go out, just the two of us, an

sts. I love that my husband doesn't give up easily on us, because if it was ju

e and my husband, it is pretty difficult. I don't even take

oblems... Screw it! Everything w

s its way through all the c