36 Years Old

you, but I have m

metimes if I try hard enough, they come to the surface. Not completely, but still, I can under

an amazing childhood, which

games, all kind of gam

playing outside, most of them are with their nose in their phone. I am sure yo

d time on their phones, but no

er. They haven't seen eachother in about 4 years I think. Yeah, he wasn't very present in t

nk about it we all can do more in life, we just choose not to or there is

ut most of the time, guess where they were? You guessed, at home on their phones, or at the computer, xbox etc. I

ome. I definitely didn't agree, but there was nothing I could do, as I

t mattered was th

parents care about, because on first p

so depressed, the days would go by so slow, I would cry so often, a

ip. I was so inloved or that I was believing at the moment. That wasn

didn't try, it just didn't happen. I had a saying when people would ask

hen I saw those two beautifu

for the first three months. Tough delivery, but when I saw thos

ier to carry this pregnancy. The thing is that my ex husband wasn't happy with

e was. Even the midwives were surprised and told me that th

, no matter if you give birth naturally or through a C-se

s away. You become stronger, tougher, ready to raise your child the best way you can. And I am writing this from my own experie

that I have been through, I guess I was always too

e to the bad in my l

n more sad

ove in every single rela

ep inside my soul that I even made myself believe it was never real. I do not know how exactly the brain works but I can tell you for sure that by putting those ugly, nasty memories in my Pandorra box as I call it, I have lost many memorie

n used num

the rest of the world does, never been like that. I like to do things my way. I do shift personalities pretty fast too so, ye

lost of ba

most of my o

so o

eed to see past through everything, so h

den heart, he would make you laugh every day with his jokes, even if you would have been in a really bad shape, trust me that he would have made you laugh. God, how much that man loved me, he was more than a grandpa, more than a father, he was my guardian angel. I lost him last year, on 10th June 2022... Covid they said, b

e there are days when I feel that I would be capable of just shovelling a knife in my stern... I always feel so much pain insid

lk, see, hear,

hot, I was happy, laughed a

nection to the world. Spent most of the time indoors, I would go out just to

or men who didn't deserve one. I wasn't perfect either, but I have never looked for perfection in anyone. All I ever wanted was to

randparents and trust me when I write this, there is no greater

sure they can hear me from where they are now. God has decided to take back his angels, because

them, I was blessed with suc