Hints for Lovers

uomini, e e'

lvi

, and maintain unstained if he would find favor in feminine eyes: the f

develop, and maintain unstained if she would find favor in mascu

ch other without alarums and excursions. Always the presence of the one rouses anxiety i

n armor. But it is often only to conceal the cr

women make upon them. And women know this, since All women are alive to the fac

, laid by women upon dress and th

man is led by the heart

y not?

eart, not a hard head, th

gracious smile than by good sense; by manner and even by

a woman by he

a woman by he

tives by what she knows of her

s heart is somethi

hearts, have little diff

rtunate that to this word is at

has endeavored to show, this

re adequate for the computation of th

e entanglements of the relations between the sexes, as deep and as intricate as significant, that

s that man is but the stepping-stone to the child. In the

ety; for a particular race in a particular clime. Such laws are obeyed by women only under compulsion. They, more far-seeing than men, instinctively peer far beyond the ephemeral rules manufactured by m

ce everything -everything. The same generous sen

e woman-but here I am reminde

e is in reality but on

n

o long will men and women hug, yet chafe

d a misunderstanding-in spite of

tory, it is because men and women have

r pelf) and careful of his status in the tr

of her offspring, thinks only of he

he unit of the

ws, not for love,

which are bound by cosmic not by

s; howsoever marriage and divorce may

that community-laws to suit that community-laws "de vinculo matrimonii" an

than it can bind the sweet influence

gulations, a great and cosmic law does

est lady has a definite, perha

ow too much. Perha

r a man admires a woman

woman, not even of the ways of love, t

edge is inimic

s true trade;

ty of the sexes than a woman's hand. It was made

ure than a woman's hand? But put it i

y, delicacy, dependence, beauty, grace,-it

n sunny summers much as we watch a deli

we know, can generate such startling ener

male friends doing they often have a very particular objection to the

nd is conspicuously attentive to, that the man

s, which, much as light and fitful breezes may stir the surface, is mo

erficial of feminine blandishments; though, no doubt, many a man ther

rent rays; but it is only under the ray that pierces the

se she is inferior, but rather bec

ding; but the building would fal

urce of strength. Those who cannot understa

exaltation of mind into which some me

than she does herself. To a women, feminine conce

jealousy unreaso

om heaven. It is not within the bounds of mortal male

if it is a truism, is a tru

subtleties and intricacies of feminine hearts

to woman. A woman in defeat is e

apon: brute force. A woman, in like circumstances

aternal, a woman will ri

f

maternal, woman is the

e other; but it often happens that the entrapper afterwards rues the capt

usbands think love may be won by art

, love and artifice are

e would be to a man a thing

artifice is to a woman

u

by artifice, there are apt to be several bad qu

e comes the woman he thinks he wants. Then he says point blank he wants her. Should it ever be revealed to him th

n, bound to wait till asked for, quite naturally resorts to artifi

eer artifice, she can love to th

to man, is work

s no ref

suffer long

, or to the gaming-table, or

an does in the sorrow of t

of soul, will tell us much. Some women, in sorrow of soul, eat out their hearts in si

n woman seriou

woman has s

n is a lonely o

en who really

an outlet for his energy-

ends or a club; wome

s fired by imagination; as the most destructive of exp

the coarsest powder ca

is, par excellence, the feminine problem: and many and vario

learn that were wo

motions. He cannot co

otion, calculati

of warriors, so there a

Alexander, a Genghis Khan, an Attila, a Napoleon; and there is the warrior w

tra, Mesalina, Faustine; and there is the woman who is happy with

omen cannot abide, and

titude. And n

And When a man clothes himself with reason as with

otion are mor

motion that the battle

o

oses and entrenches her position; th

th emotion; reason but b

r oppose nor appeal to

o the motives of a

questions the motives o

ngs-not upon this side Phlegethon

an a man believes

er finger-tips objects of devou

in loving one man a wom

tinction is proo

men, but opens the eyes

's prevision; it does

passion or ere he kn

after she has found out whither it le

ries of the Implacable Goddess

l she can give her heart,

he has no heart) soon e

a woman's qualms

man's indifference e

and friendship exhaust the va

souls are as complex and multiform

ve: it is always reciprocal; one frie

masculine sentiment;-e

. It cannot be wholly Platonic (3); it need not be wholly Dantesque. Yet women genera

if they could, transmute love

hey instinctively know, though they try hard to forget, that a man's friend

women deceive themselves into thinking that were dev

Platonic, would resent the Platonism did it exist. Possibly not every

exchange of confidences may terminate: it

ked rather by frien

man friend what she

ieve it. Yet it is true, and the explication of its t

iendship does not.

ses of the womanly nature; and,

he inspection of lo

the woman must co

woman must conceal, n

n who could be at on

ly one more

sexes underst

d in its purely c

more susceptible sex

ry is perhaps woman's mo

e is which woman's flatt

errible in war, man is pristine and simple in matters emotional, and an easy

x has developed

oped and perfected the

e the primitive w

ns are arms of

nequal contest-perhaps deplore

d aside, the pair are then -presumabl

to be won

ty of peace: thenceforth

ed, has been amazed at

hat open methods flound

d out woman, must either be a phi

ract from woman her reasons for her actions. The woman who can g

intuition, not

nine intuitions could make a philosophical syst

woman's intuitions are as exact as th

can construct its ephemeris. Alack, How many anxious star-gazers are there among men! The

wo foci: his Appetites; and his Ambitions.-Which

know when he is in pe

to her lord actions about the character of which ev

preternatural. But no; i

s of the New one, love, its wiles and its w

n men that stolen bread is

et from women.-At least they think

e places, more marriage li

name is woman,'-and then

o offer a helping hand. Yet it is

sin in a woman's eyes. Woe t

y a man's tact, what fal

combine a comfortable h

ncompatible combination of a well-regulated

malum is domes

num malum is

bligation is to jeopardize friendship. Between man an

m often knows better than his more masculine ri

o a man's imagination.-But then, ma

s always highly com

ereth a mult

es requires tempor

the result that either it rushes on to certain destr

ub-stratum of frock and bonnet, is to another

more than one man, her horo

hrow up entrenchments; and this even when both bell

that you expect

s are not to b

pects from a man is information, unless it

fuge. It is what is l

rthe

N try to utter what has been left unsaid. But alwa

ver say wh

have a penchant for mankind, despite their intimate acquaintance with him-in which case the men may congratulate themselves; or else

tempered by a subtle pleasure, which proceeds from a feeling that, inasmuch as we

h man's esteem, as hi

n inspire.-Indeed, (by him who

an be sonnetted,-which is might

woman is-well, perhaps the

man is-well, perhaps the one mo

rge your suit with another (unless,

the most fascinating

stible to the other sex, she draws upon herself the odium of her own. By

h a very opposite feeling, of which perhaps amusement, admirat

or are snow-capped; the plains know n

ased to love, the man is so

has ceased to love, the w

offence which neither of the men is likely to forget. Nor will the

ss of another woman. Very apt is she to say that the other woman is too "free and easy", to

now wom

that women

ow women.-Ahem!-Men in this r

al; a woman never. The former will candidly admit the possession of a more

s, not his rival, nor the

may once more be deduced that The unsuccessful woman blames, never herself, but either the outrageous meretricousness of her rival, or the blindness of the

not distinguish the women who are really in love with them, from the

it is easy for any woman to delude a

the rival of ev

ll resort to no subterfuge, adopt no meretricious methods, scorn to rel

ssail the masculine heart with word and look and gesture-and win. -Ach!

recognize and respect the remnant

men-far more easily than can a man

injured woman. He has no mo

eeks excuses. The w

cessory and ancillary to Love; she bedize

lady's maid is dismissed. (It might b

ousts c

ng as there are peoples -perhaps as there are i

upon and enforced by men. They mistake. 'T is a virt

ot chaste, it is she who deplores the fact. The man may easily en

dignation women themse

the hands of a man it is like a cow-hide shield opposed to Mauser bu

by ridicule; man treats it

never forgotten. And

to be floored by the jiu-jitsu

cts from a "ministering angel

urders, not only affe

no apologies

s spontaneous, u

kes to see, it is a spontaneous, a

such declaration; has bound the woman to himself by terms dictated by herself then, but

uch above thee that she blushes to give the herself. Perchance she regards thee so much a symbol of the god-like, that she blushes for be

cosmic secret hidden

nate man, little knowest thou of the div

ry flash that irradiates the world, and re

g thunder that, echoing, rolls for ever

ook will sometimes change the complex

k into eyes with a penetration supernatural-

t a rejected suitor either will not marry

lterable fidelity to one, would otherwise be a blow to "amour p

ned with regard to her own cardiac t

herself to be, a m

tions, is cast in

and over again, yet deem herself perfectly loy

the intricacies of feminine emotion . . . . . .

a task no daughter

between m

the outcome of spiritual obsession.-Must I expl

ite is true friend

n all that savors of the mortal only a s

orce and secret incomprehen

delible, indecipherable: efflorescing in Man; emerging from the material; idea

nd vaunt itself in itself sufficient-(5), but must seek some other single and isolated portion of the cosmos in order that that very cosmos shall continue, s

o, Symposium

dge, "Lectures