Etiquette

o

ODUC

orrec

troduce." On informal occasions neither word is expressed, though un

may I prese

r

hed, may I pres

ed, but a gentleman is always presented to a lady, even though he is an

tates, a cardinal, or a reigning sovereign, presented to

e Pre

s

the honor to present

Car

s

, may I presen

a K

t the actual presentation an "accepted" name is repeated from functionary

resented, "Mr. Ambassador, ma

ely Mr. Lordson, or Mr. Holdoffice. A doctor, a judge, a bishop, are addressed and introduced by their titles. The clergy are usually Mister unless they formally hold the title of Doctor, or Dean, or Canon. A Cathol

Introduction

orm of introduct

ldly, Mrs

is introduced to whom; but by accentuating the more important person's name

mere statement of fact. For instance, suppose you say, "Are you there?" and then "It

here?-It

dly?-Mrs.

younger. As a matter of fact, in introducing two ladies to each other or one gentlema

flecti

t's going

ith-Mrs

Worldly? Mr. Norman!" But to a very

n-My daugh

er, Mrs. Smartlington." The daughter's name is omitted because it is extremely bad taste (except in the South) to call her daughter "Miss Mary" t

ms Of Int

ble forms of i

do you know

r

't you?" (on no account say "Do you not?

r

n, have you m

r

do you know

r

aughter Ellen

, or gentlemen to gentlemen. In introducing a gentleman to a lady, you may ask Mr. Sm

ntroductio

do not, in introducing one person to another, call one of them "my friend." You can say "my aunt," or "my sister," or "my cousin"-but to pick out a particula

Mrs. Jones' hearing. Upon leading Mr. Smith up to Mrs. Jones, you say "Mrs. Jones may I present Mr. Smith" or "Mrs. Jones; Mr. Smith." U

ith! Mrs. Smith? Mrs. Jones!" To s

ering. If you want to know with whom you have been talking, you can generally find a third person later and ask "Who was the

o Shak

roduced to each other

ightly and says: "How do you do!" Strictly speaking, it is always her place to offer her hand or not as she chooses, but if he puts out his hand, it is rude on her part to ignore it. Nothing could be more ill-bred t

ometimes shakes hands after talking with a casual stranger; at other times she does not offer her hand on parting from on

ic and none more so than the acceptance

elcomingly friendly to another whom you like on sight. Individual temperament has also to be taken into consideration: one person is naturally austere, another genial. The latter

ay When I

I present Mr. Struthers?" Mrs. Worldly says, "How do you do?" Struthers bows, and says nothing. To sweetly echo "Mr. Struthers?" with a rising inflection on "-the

ased to meet you," etc., but often the first remar

er?" Struthers answers, "Yes, I am at the Columbia Law School," etc., or since he is much younger than she, he might answer, "Ye

Of One You

leave, you say, "Good-by, I am very glad to have met you," or "Good-by, I hope I shall see you again soon"-or "some time.

hem or merely included in their conversation-you bow "good-by" to any who happen to be looking at yo

One Person

y persons are present. At a small luncheon, for instanc

, but it is toward the door. Mrs. King is sitting quite close to you, Mrs

r, then stand aside as it were, for a second only, to see if Mrs. Jon

s a young one, Mrs. King merely extends her hand and does not rise. Having said "Mrs. Jones" once, you do not repeat it immediately, but turning to the other lady sitting near you, you say, "Mrs. Lawr

might have some one to talk to. But if other guests come in at this moment, Mrs. Jones finds a place for herself and

party; but it is not accepted at a ball or reception, or any "general" entertainment. People always talk to their neighbors at table whether introduced or not. It would be a breach

k's Bad

Even though the cause is carelessness rather than intentional indiffer

effort to remember all the new faces they come in contact with, but allow all those who are not especially "fixed" in their attention, to drift easily out of mind and recognition. It is mortifyingly true; no one is so ignorantly indifferent to everything outside his or her own personal concern as the socially fashionable New Yorker, u

g to try and make the effort to find out what manner of mind, or experience, or talent, a stranger has; and to remember, at least out of courtesy, anyone for whose benefit a

e as possible. In the West, however, people do not feel comfortable in a room full of strangers. Whether or not

roduce Un

definition that is exact enough, but not very helpful or clear. The hostess who allows a guest to stand, awkward and unknown, in the middle of her drawing-room is no worse than she who pounces on ev

he Necessar

whom a dinner is given, or a bride and groom, or a débutante being introduced to society. It is the height of rudeness for anyone to go

tions At

he latter introduction is overlooked, people sitting next each other at table nearly always introduce themselves. A gentleman says, "How do you do, Mrs. Jones. I am Arthur Robinson." Or showing h

other to talk without introducing themselves-particularly

essary In

introductionless circles

ople who are to sit

rs at

s at a ho

small dinner

re at the same

ellow-players

d personally present him to the hostess. "Mrs. Worldly, this is Mr. Robinson, whom you said I migh

er hostess, unless the latter is engrossed in conversation with a visitor of her own, or unle

s taking leave. Nor is an animated conversation between two persons interrupted to i

y on and does not stand awkwardly by and wait for an introduction. If the third is asked by the one she knows, to join them, the

oking room or left at table always talk to their neighbors whether they have been introduced or not, and ladies in the drawing-room do the same. But unless they meet soon

that carry "obligations of future acquaintance," and "incor

t difference so far as any one's acceptance or rejection of another is concerned how a

veritable ships that pass in the night. They show their red or green signals-

d the first occasion was without interest and long ago, th

ion, you smile and say "I have already met Mrs. Smith," but you say nothing

Smith of having met her before, but on meeting again any one who was brought to your own house,

n Conversation With

talking to a seedsman and a friend joins you in your garden. You greet your friend, and then include her by saying, "Mr. Smith is suggesting that I dig up these ca

en you are not sure that an acquaintance will be agreeable to one or

tions Un

er social blunder than to introduce, to a person of position, some one she does not care to know, especially on shipboard, in hotels, or in other very small, rather public, co

are meeting new faces daily, seldom seeing the same one twice in a year, it requires a tenaci

ther, but if there is a good reason for knowing some one, th

my mother's? I am Mrs. Titheringto

spoke to me. Your mother and I have kn

rs. Worldly?" Mrs. Worldly, looking rather freezingly, politely says "Yes" and waits. And the stranger continues, "I think my sister M

Ali

ed of you, and of your lovely voice. I w

made. It would be in very bad taste for Alice to introduce

isit Not An

a meeting as an introduction, even though they talked for an hour. Nor would she offer to shake hands in leaving. On the other hand, neighbor

teous To One Yo

al remarks lead to no enlightening topic, and bring no further memory, you ask at the first opportunity who it was that addressed you. If the person should prove actually to be unknown, it is very easy to repel any furthe

by a wrong name, you let it pass, at first, but if he p

hout first asking the latter's permission, because all those invited to a lady's hous

should be very careful not to introduce a youth whom he knows nothing about to a lady of his acquaintance-or at least he should ask her first. He can say frankly: "The

ction B

ken introduction which commits you to nothing. This is explaine

rrect for you to seal it at once in the presence of its author. Y

ur card at her door. Usually you do not ask to see her; but if it is between four and six o'clock it is quite correct to do so if you ch

e latter case you go to his office, and send in your card and the letter. Meanwhile you wait in

ent. If the recipient of your letter leaves her card on you, you in return leave yours on her. But the obligation of a

d asks how he may be of service to him. If he does not invite the newcomer to his house, he may put him