Dimitris Secret Desire

ELLA

I pressed my forehead against the cold glass looking into the ICU, trying to steady the trembling in my hands. Through the transparent barrier, my mother lay down surrounded by a bunch of machines, their rhythmic beeping the only sound in the room. Tubes and wires impaled parts of her fragile body, connecting her to the devices that seemed to mock me with their multiple beeping. I wanted her to wake up, tell me that everything would be alright and that I should focus on my life. Her chest rose and fell in time with the ventilator, but it was the only movement, the only sign that she was still here with me.

I watched a nurse walk up to me with a pained smile. Surely, she was aware of my suffering.

"You can get changed and go in to see your mother now." She smiled. I wanted to reciprocate the gesture but I didn't have it in me.

I got changed and walked into the room. Slowly and carefully, I sat by her bedside. I lifted one of her hands by the wrist and kissed it. Remembering how the last time that she was awake, we had finally decided to make bread that had carrots in it. I laughed at the memory.

"Mum, remember how you disagreed that carrots don't belong in bread dough? But you still agreed to make it," I sniffled. Holding back the tears.

"All because I wouldn't shut up about carrot cake and carrot bread being similar," My laughter was pained.

The steady beeping of the heart monitor was the only sound breaking my pained silence. Mum's face, once full of life, looked so pale and fragile. The oxygen mask covered her mouth, making her breathing shallow and labored. Had she always been breathing so hard since I came into the room?

I clenched her fists, trying to hold back more tears that threatened to spill. Something was wrong.

"Mum?"

What was going on?

The door to the room swung open, and a team of doctors rushed in. Soon, I was being ejected from the room by two elder nurses who had pitiable expressions on their faces.

"You need to leave the room miss, your mother will be alright." They reassured while sitting me down. They left almost immediately.

My tears finally came down like a waterfall. I stood up, placing my head on the glass window and watching as they tried to keep her alive. Still in this world with me.

I wanted to scream, to shatter the glass that separated us, as if that could break the spell that kept her imprisoned in that unmoving body. But I knew it was useless. I was as powerless as she was, standing here in the hallway with nothing to do but watch and wait as the doctors did their best.

The main doctor with Marud written on his name tag, approached me. He was a tall man with a stern expression. Looking at him made me fear the worst.

"Miss Fitzgerald? We need to act fast," he said, his voice calm but urgent.

"Act fast?" I was confused now. What did he mean? "Is my mum dying?"

"Your mother just had another heart attack. We're doing everything we can to stabilize her, but there's something else you need to know." He clenched his notepad.

My heart pounded in my chest, I could hear it with my breath catching in my throat.

"What is it?" I choked out, my voice barely a whisper.