Summer Fling

"As I stand near the shore watching you fading like a memory.

However, unlike a swift river that was only meant to meet once in my lifetime, you didn't turn to me the last time. You wouldn't come to me again, I wouldn't see you again

But I will always pray that our stars will align once more, bringing us together in a different time zone so I don't have to push you away one more time. I shoved my poetry book inside my drawer hiding it especially from my roommate.

I like to write sometimes.

I didn't want to go to the university's freshmen welcome program today, but my roommate Ava convinced me to. I couldn't breathe and found it exhausting to spend every moment there because it was so awkward. I was sitting in the corner looking at all of those people having fun, where my hands were trembling in anxiety.

Yes, I suffer from social anxiety and can't stand in a crowd for long because I know it hurts and is often so depressing. **

When I get back to my dorm in the hostel, I feel drained. According to what I remembered, my roommate is still in the program, drinking, and hooking up with a senior. I decided to took a shower before slumming in a bed.

Wrapping my body in a towel I exit from the bathroom, my roommate is still not here.

It's already past 7, she will be yelled by warden if she didn't make it till 7:30.

I slide into my t-shirt snd pajama pants before pluging the hair dryer inside the switch turning it on.

I dry my hair while I look in the mirror. A pair of big, brown, almond-shaped eyes stare back at me. Growing up, I never thought I was pretty. Being bullied in middle school caused me a huge trauma about my appearance, confidence, and self-esteem as a whole. This trauma is still present. I still feel a sudden wave of sadness and insecurity that makes me want to run away from everyone and everything and hide in my cocoon, where it is not hard to live and feels safe. My anxiety was so bad that I took a gap year because I was too scared to even be around other people anymore. I got help from therapy and my psychiatrist, and I'm doing much better than I was before. Everyday was a struggle, to get up and make it till night, my life was like a gloomy days, black and white, nothing new, nothing exciting, or nothing would excite me, living in a loop of sadness, dwelling by it, thinking of quiting my life so many tims, I was existing Just for the sake of it, I couldn't hurt my parents by letting them losing me, but they didn't knew I had loose myself a long time ago.

There was no dreams, no goals, no hope except exhaustion, sadness and thought of stop breathing and dwelling in the permanent peaceful sleep.

My parents took me to the psychiatrist and it helps me a lot actually.

I start to see world in color slowly, but black and white world never fadeded away.

Even the bad part exist inside me, I focused more on the good side, it get a lot easier after I start to ignore the negative side, that's why they called ignorance is a bliss.

Seeing my friends so cheerful and happy, living to the fullest, doing silly fun things, falling in love, getting heart broken, learning and growing I couldn't understand what went so wrong with me, everyone around me were doing something, growing, trying but there I was living in a constant, dwelled in darkness, never trying to crawl towards the brighter side.

The sudden panic attack, getting blank in the mere social situation is still there,but now I am growing and learning.

My phone rings, it's must be mom or dad, I just called them before coming to my dorm, they wanted me to be in welcome eve a longer, wanted me to enjoy it but I can't make them understand that I prefer this alone and me time in my dorm where there's no one than that welcome eve.

I switched off the dryer putting it inside the drawer before grabbing my phone and slumming in my bed.

To my surprised it wasn't from my parents, it's from my roommate Ava, she barely calls me, why is she calling me right now?

I click on that green option, picking up her call, "hello", I replied.

"Hey, um, what's up, what you doing?", She asked.

"Nothing, trying to sleep," I mumbled.

"Okay," she huff, "look, Lizzie, I know we are not a really a good friend to asked for a favor but please help me, I uh I am actually, Warden didn't let me in, you know I am drunk, not really, just a little okay?, I swear,"

"Yeah okay and?", I asked.

"It's a mess, I was with this one guy and he is more drunk than me and he is unconscious, I guess he did drug today, I can't leave him here, it will be mess if anyone finds him in this state, so I want you to just open a back window for me and help me drag his ass inside our room,"

"No, Ava, I can't, you know we can get kicked out if anyone finds out".

"Okay calm down you good girl, I assure you, they won't find, please this is the last time, I won't do this again, please help me, my parents can't find out about this" she begged with pleading voice.

I still want to yell at her, want to told that we are not a friends, and I shouldn't be doing this but instead I hesitate a long before whispering "okay"

"Oh, you are my friend from today, I love you", she exclaimed, "now, open the window and help me.

"I didn't asked to be your friend at all", I told to myself.

I opened the window, to find her in the ground, waving towards me, the guy was lying on the ground.

I went towards her, running horrified if anyone would see us.

Ava chimed, "I mean it, when I said I love you," and she apologized for ignoring him for so long. "It's okay, let's finish this quickly", I told her.

She nod her head, "right".

"Jacks, you ass, wake up", Ava kick his ass, he groan, mumbling something.

I shake my head, "He won't wake up, we might have to carry him." "So?", She asked confused.

You carried him though left side, I will support him from right," she nod.

We made him stand, carrying him through our shoulder.

"Hey Jacks, don't give up on your legs okay, if you don't want to end up being suspended", Ava sigh from exhaustion.

"Okay", he murmur.

With all sweat and blood, we take him inside the room, he slummed against the floor, dwelling into a sleep.

"What now?", I asked trying to control my chest heaving up and down.

"His friend will be here by midnight to pick him up, until then we can take a rest, I am going to get a shower, you sleep, and I am truly grateful for your help today, and I am sorry for being such an ass to you before",

"It's alright, I wasn't that good either".

"I know right, you seems so like full of yourself, like you don't need anyone at all, all time inside your head", she immediately regret her words, as her eyes widened at the realization what she just said right now.

"God, I am dumb, I didn't mean it, god, I am sorry",

"I am not offended, it's alright, don't panic, take a shower, I can smell alcohol from you".

"No, it's him, not mine", she tried to defend herself.

A buzz sound wake me up, the sound of rain,I can feel some stroke of water on my cheek, it was cool, I could feel my cheek flushed due to breeze.

I could smell a faint scent, unfamiliar, but comforting and it feels like it's near me, It's not Ava's, I know the perfume she uses, it's not hers, I snapped my eyes open.

At first I don't know if I was scared or astonished, at first I couldn't sort out if I am dreaming or it's a reality.

I see the Windows were open, it was raining outside, and the curtains of the room were dancing around,but they didn't grab my attention as much as the pair of eyes staring at me has grabbed right now.

For a moment, I didn't find a energy to pull my eyes away from them, they were hypnotic, dark green eyes set with attractive black set of eyebrows, curved pink lips, nose just perfect for a already beautiful face, jaw line just like a piece of art, drenched blonde hair hanging around forehead.

My eyes roam around, white t-shirt damped against his chest by rain.

This boy is a fallen angel straight in my dream.

I still doubt, this could be reality, no way, this boy so beautiful like angel himself, can be near me, staring into my soul,

"Ava, I am here to get Jacks, now stop gawking at me and help me, will you ?".

", he said, snapping a finger on

me, but I was to busy to admire him.

"Hello, you there, Ava?", He said, with a frown.

I pull myself away from him, and

I stand up from my bed, realizing it's not my dream but a reality.

"Who are you?", I find myself asking, Ava wasn't around, seems like 1 dozed off, seems like Ava is still in bathroom.

"You have something wrong in here?", He point towards his brain, with a frown.

"Huh?"

", I mumbled.

"Remember you called me, to pick him up?", He motioned towards jacks lying on the floor.

Oh, he is thinking I am Ava?

"No, it's", "hey, you are here soon", before I could speak Ava came in. Her hair was still wet.

The angel looking guy frown in confusion, looking back and forth between me and Ava.

"Logan, I am Ava, the one who sent location and called you?"

"You are Ava, then who's she" he said looking towards me, "nevermind, I have to be quick, got to take his ass to my car, now you two help me," he said.

**

He have parked his car outside the hostel, we sneak through window once again, it wasn't difficult to drag Jacks again like before since Logan did almost all the thing.

Once we put Jacks and Logan get inside the driver seat, he looked at Ava, "thanks for the help," he didn't looked at me, as if I don't exist at all.

"Anytime", Ava whispered, and there was a moment, a brief moment, that would have gone almost unnoticed if I have not kept looking towards him, his eyes flicker towards me, just for a moment, before he pull away and nod, starting a car.

"You were a great help today, I am forever grateful," the car said as it vanished. ", Ava said, pulling me closer towards

her.