The Forbidden Lust

Four years ago

"Oh, come on... I can do this. Just let me try it."

"How old are you?"

"Nineteen,"

"And this is your dream, to become a stripper?"

"Look, I need the money..."

"Well, we don't have an opening at the moment. Why don't you come back here next week?"

"But I need the money now,"

"Well, you can get a job couple of blocks down bagging groceries, you're too young for this stuff anyway kid. Try next week, we might have an opening behind the bar."

I feel defeated, I have try to get a job at a local bakery, diner, garage, even as a janitor, but no respectable establishment would even consider hiring a runaway. And apparently not even a strip club.

It was noon, I was hungry. That morning, I got into a fight at the local shelter where a cute girl robbed my stuff and take my money. Her boyfriend was furious that I was pointing fingers at her and I got kicked in the gut and threaten that he would come at me with a knife when I least expected if I go back to the shelter.

I tried to tell the staff at the shelter, but they didn't believe me, or more that they didn't have time to listen to my carelessness.

And that morning was one of the days that I learned my life lesson, the hard way.

So there I was, nineteen, runaway, starving, and was trying to find a job. All that I have left was in my school backpack. It has been two years since I run away from home, and there was no intention from my side to go back home. Ever.

It was almost dark, I was walking to the nearest abandon construction site. I've slept there before when the beds were full at the shelter, I just have to make sure there was no one guarding the site. And lucky for me, I managed to slip into the abandoned building site easily.

The smell of urine hit as I entered the backside of the building. My eyes were wide, my ears were trying to listen to my surroundings and I relaxed when I reached an empty space. I decided to put my stuff down, rest my back to the wall as I picked a spot, and sit my ass down on the least dirty floor area.

And at a night like that, feelings were flooding my chest, my body shook when the loneliness came to me and finally I let myself cry. My face was wet from my tears, I pulled my knees to my body trying to keep myself warm while the hunger gnawing in my insides. I didn't know when but I finally fell asleep only to be woken up a couple of hours later when I heard the police sirens from across the road.

I looked at my watch telling me it was seven in the morning, my stomach ache from the hunger, my throat felt dry, and I groaned when I got up and my body hurt from my sleeping position.

The air was still cold, I could see the air that I breathe out, and my feet were walking on their own when I reached the local mom and pops shop where the owner was about to open his small convenience store.

"Hey, are you lost?"

I shook my head, knowing I was too parched to even let out few sentences, but I managed to ask the older man if I can use their bathroom.

"Well, come on in, looks like you've been walking all night."

"Thank you," I blinked a couple of times trying not to shed my tears in front of the stranger, but he look away when he did saw a glint of my vulnerability.

It'll be two years next week since the last time I saw my parents. That day was

the greatest birthday present my parents have ever given me. 

Elroy, my boyfriend at that time was spending the afternoon in my room, it was my birthday after all. Being gay in high school, I know early on that it's who I am and I didn't try to hide it, not even from my parents and it drives them mad when they saw Elroy was kissing me and we were laying in my bed.

My dad beat me after Elroy was sent home, his parents weren't better than mine and he has his own issues with them. The next morning when my parents were at work I packed my bag, leave the house and never look back.

Elroy didn't want to come with me, I loved him, but I guess he loves his precious family more. I was heartbroken when I continue my plan and leave him behind me, taking the bus with a one-way ticket not even caring where I was headed.

"Boy, come sit down, have some coffee and sandwiches. My wife always packed too much for me."

The older man, Mr. Diaz then became my employer and landlord where I stay above his store and finally find my refuge after years of living on the streets.

Two years later

"Come on Benji, you're twenty-one, how long are you going to earn minimum wage at their store and couped up in that small cupboard you call bedroom?"

Jacqueline, the French descendant college student has been befriending me for months after I rescued her from her failed date night in a nearby bar.

"Jacqueline, it's not all minimum wage, they give me a room and meals too."

"Oh, come on, I'm offering you my bedroom space."