The Remarkable History of Sir Thomas Upmore, bart., M.P., formerly known as Tommy Upmore"" by R. D. Blackmore
The Remarkable History of Sir Thomas Upmore, bart., M.P., formerly known as Tommy Upmore"" Chapter 1 No.1
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PREFACE.
When Sir Thomas Upmore came, and asked me to write a short account of his strange adventures, I declined that honour; partly because I had never seen any of his memorable exploits. Perhaps that matters little, while his history so flourishes, by reason of being more creditable, as well as far more credible, than that of England, for the last few years.
Still, in such a case, the man who did the thing is the one to tell it. And his veracity has now become a proverb.
My refusal seemed to pain Sir Thomas, because he is so bashful; and no one can see him pained, without grieving for his own sake also, and trying to feel himself in the wrong.
This compelled me to find other arguments; which I did as follows:-
"First, my dear sir, in political matters, my humble view's are not strong, and trenchant-as yours are become by experience-but exceedingly large, and lenient; because I have never had anything at all to do with politics.
"Again, of science,-the popular name for almost any speculation, bold enough,-I am in ignorance equally blissful, if it were not thrilled with fear. What power shall resist the wild valour of the man, who proves that his mind is a tadpole's spawn, and then claims for that mind supreme dominion, and inborn omniscience? Before his acephalous rush, down go piled wisdom of ages, and pinnacled faith, cloud-capped heights of immortal hope, and even the mansions everlasting, kept for those who live for them."
"All those he may upset," replied Sir Thomas, with that sweet and buoyant smile, which has saved even his supernatural powers, from the sneers of those below him; "or at least, he may fancy that he has done it. But to come to facts,-can he upset, or even make head, or tail, of such a little affair as I am? Not one of his countless theories about me has a grain of truth in it; though he sees me, and feels me, and pokes me in the side, and listens, as if I were a watch run down, to know whether I am going. I assure you, that to those who are not frightened by his audacity, and fame, his 'links of irrefragable proof' are but a baby's dandelion chain. In chemistry alone, and engineering, has science made much true advance. The main of the residue is arrogance."
"In that branch of science, we are all Professors," I answered, to disarm his wrath; knowing that, in these riper years, honest indignation wrought upon his system, as youthful exultation once had done; and I could not afford to have a hole made in my ceiling. "However, Sir Thomas, I shall stick to my resolve. Though your life-when its largeness is seen aright-will be an honour to the history of our race, justice comes before honour; and only you can do justice to it."
Humility, which competes with truth, for the foremost place in his character, compelled him to shake his head at this; and he began again, rather sadly.
"My purpose is a larger one, than merely to talk of my own doings. I want to put common sense into plain English, and to show-as our medical men show daily-that the body is beyond the comprehension of the mind. The mind commands the body to lie down, and be poked at, and probed, and pried into, with fifty subtle instruments, or even to be cut up, and analysed alive; and then understands never the more of it. If the mind can learn nothing of the body it lives in, grows, rejoices, and suffers with, how can it know all about it, for millions of years before either existed? How can it trace their joint lineage up to a thing, that had neither a head, nor a body?
"Go to; what I offer is not argument, but fact; and I care not the head of their ancestor for them. But if I write it, will you remove whatever may offend a candid mind?"
"If you offend no mind but that," said I, being fresh from a sharp review of something I had written; "you will give small offence indeed; and to edit you will be a sinecure."
Both these predictions have proved correct; except indeed that a few kind readers of sadly unscientific mind have hankered for some explanation of parts which they failed to witness.
The reply is truly simple-"if you were not there the fault was yours; here are the facts as in evidence, better supported, and less strange, than those you accept without a wink; and perhaps your trouble in realising a case of specific levity proceeds from nothing but your own excessive specific gravity."
R. D. Blackmore.
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The Remarkable History of Sir Thomas Upmore, bart., M.P., formerly known as Tommy Upmore""
R. D. Blackmore
Literature
Chapter 1 No.1
06/12/2017
Chapter 2 SIGNS OF EMINENCE.
06/12/2017
Chapter 3 ITUR AD ASTRA.
06/12/2017
Chapter 4 THE DAWN OF SCIENCE.
06/12/2017
Chapter 5 THE PURSUIT OF SCIENCE.
06/12/2017
Chapter 6 GRIP.
06/12/2017
Chapter 7 TRUE SCIENCE.
06/12/2017
Chapter 8 THE GREAT WASHED.
06/12/2017
Chapter 9 FOR CHANGE OF AIR.
06/12/2017
Chapter 10 THALATTA!
06/12/2017
Chapter 11 THE NEW ADMIRAL.
06/12/2017
Chapter 12 LARGE IDEAS.
06/12/2017
Chapter 13 TWENTIFOLD TOWERS.
06/12/2017
Chapter 14 WHALEBONES.
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Chapter 15 A SILLY PAIR.
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Chapter 16 POLITICAL CONOMY.
06/12/2017
Chapter 17 NO EXTRAS.
06/12/2017
Chapter 18 SELF-DEFENCE.
06/12/2017
Chapter 19 AH ME!
06/12/2017
Chapter 20 COMFORT.
06/12/2017
Chapter 21 BOIL NO MORE.
06/12/2017
Chapter 22 THE SEAT OF LEARNING.
06/12/2017
Chapter 23 HEREDITARY LAWS.
06/12/2017
Chapter 24 A COUNTY MEETING.
06/12/2017
Chapter 25 OLD BONES, AND YOUNG ONES.
06/12/2017
Chapter 26 ON THE ROCKS.
06/12/2017
Chapter 27 BENEATH THEM.
06/12/2017
Chapter 28 PLEASANT, AND UNPLEASANT THINGS.
06/12/2017
Chapter 29 THE WELFARE OF THE FAMILY.
06/12/2017
Chapter 30 BECAUSE HE HAD NO PITY.
06/12/2017
Chapter 31 PERFIDY.
06/12/2017
Chapter 32 FREE TRADE.
06/12/2017
Chapter 33 A PAIR OF BLUE EYES.
06/12/2017
Chapter 34 STRONG INTENTIONS.
06/12/2017
Chapter 35 FAMES FAM .
06/12/2017
Chapter 36 NATIONAL EMERGENCY.
06/12/2017
Chapter 37 VOTE FOR TOMMY!
06/12/2017
Chapter 38 SUNNY BAY.
06/12/2017
Chapter 39 PREPARE.
06/12/2017
Chapter 40 FOR PUBLIC AND PRIVATE BENEFIT.
06/12/2017
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