Love and Hearbreaks

I left the interview with a headache. There were at least five people, and for the first time, I felt nervous during a job interview. In the room were the CEO, the finance manager, and some other people I do not recall well. To make matters worse, there were two individuals connected remotely- the global business manager and the company president from the United States. The screen was gigantic, which made me feel even more intimidated. I left exhausted but calm.

I had gone through many stages, and this was the last one. It was an opportunity I could not afford to miss. Although I had a job at that time, it was far from my home, and the hours were grueling. Therefore, I was excited about this opportunity. It was a globally recognized multinational technology company with great prestige. The salary and benefits were excellent. My life would change significantly if I secured the position.

My name is Macarena; I am thirty-three years old, divorced, with two children aged nine and six. Like most divorced parents, their father sees them every other weekend and pays child support sporadically. Therefore, I cannot rely on his money and can only plan with my own income. I live alone with my children, but my parents live nearby and help me a lot with their care. I am a business administrator, fluent in English, French, and Portuguese. I love languages and have dedicated myself to studying them since I was young. Due to speaking multiple languages, I never had a shortage of job opportunities with good working conditions.

I will not delve into my love story with the father of my children because it is not particularly interesting. I married young, without much prior experience, and we lasted only five years. Our love faded, and we decided to end the relationship.

Over the weekend, I focused on the job opportunity, adopting a positive mindset as advised by my friend Margarita, who strongly believes in the law of attraction. She suggests visualizing oneself doing the things one desires. Consequently, I imagined myself working happily in that company.

She says having a positive mentality will attract good things. Being naturally optimistic and cheerful, it was not challenging for me, and I spent the entire weekend focusing on the job.

On Tuesday, around eleven in the morning, I received the long-awaited phone call. It was the CEO who informed me that I had been selected. He mentioned that an email with all the information about conditions, benefits, etc. would be sent to me and asked when I could start. As I had mentioned during the interview, I needed a month to give notice at my current job, so there was no issue. We agreed that I would start on May 1st.

The month passed quickly, and I had a busy time getting everything in order and training my replacement at my old job. I had a lovely farewell, feeling appreciated and valued.

My new job was the one I always wanted, working in a multicultural company with colleagues of different nationalities. I started at nine in the morning and finished at five in the evening, allowing me to drop my kids off at school in the mornings and be home on time to help with their homework and spend time with them.

I served as the executive assistant to the CEO, enjoying a high salary with good benefits. I even had a junior assistant to manage administrative tasks when I was not available. I had been in this wonderful dynamic for almost two years when an unexpected event occurred.

One day, my seventy-year-old boss suffered a stroke. While it did not have fatal consequences, it kept him out of action for a long time. Despite having everything under control, I found myself attending events and meetings alone on his behalf. In one of these meetings, it was announced that the global business manager living in the United States was returning to Chile to take over my boss's position. He would be the new CEO.

His name was Alvaro, and he was truly kind. We had video calls to coordinate his move to Chile. He would return alone, and his family would follow the next year as his children were still in school. Alvaro was a Chilean who had been residing in the USA for years. I immediately contacted him, and we had video calls to organize his relocation.

He requested an apartment near a park or green area for jogging. When he arrived in Chile in mid-July, I, along with my assistant, waited for him at the airport, feeling like a delegation welcoming a diplomat.

When he emerged, I was surprised because he was very tall. I had always seen him sitting at his desk during our video calls and did not imagine him being so tall. He had an athletic body, as I intuited from his request for an apartment near a park. When he approached to greet us with a kiss on the cheek, a customary greeting in Chile, I was extending my hand according to protocol. Awkwardly, my hand landed on his abdomen as he leaned in for the kiss. We laughed about the awkward situation, and he mentioned that he was used to handshakes, but since kissing was the norm in Chile, he wanted to follow suit. I assured him it was okay, and there was no problem.

We took him to his apartment, and I kept a spare key in case of emergencies. The next day, I arrived early to assist Alvaro on his first day. I guided him to his office and left him settled, agreeing to meet with the rest of the team at eleven for introductions.

At the appointed time, we were all seated in the meeting room when he entered. He had a very masculine walk, exuded class, and was quite stylish. He smelled nice and had an imposing presence. Though not blond, his light brown hair and intense blue eyes made an impression. He introduced himself to the team, outlined his work plan, and shared his expectations.

We worked closely, preparing presentations, attending meetings, and traveling extensively. I had to travel more than before, as my previous boss delegated travel responsibilities to others. Initially, he traveled frequently, but over time, he traveled less, which suited me because of my children. When I had to travel, my parents stayed at my house, taking care of my children, and assisting with household matters.

While my relationship with Alvaro was good, it was not the same as with my previous boss, who was warmer, more conversational, and closer. He cared for me like a granddaughter, making me feel protected. He allowed me to be myself, giving me complete freedom of action and trusting my abilities. In contrast, Alvaro was more reserved, quiet, and shy. He was highly intelligent and overly demanding.

Although I excelled in my role and consistently received outstanding performance evaluations, I felt less confident and even timid around him. He intimidated me.

One day, we had a lengthy meeting with the entire team, preparing for an upcoming board meeting with guests from the United States. It had been two weeks of intense work, particularly on that day. Despite the pressure, there were laughs as we had a relaxed and close-knit team. Alvaro was the only one not joining in much on the laughter, as he was quite American in his ways and often did not understand the stories we shared; he observed more than participated.

After finishing his presentation, he quickly left the room for another meeting scheduled to start in five minutes. Glancing at the table, I noticed his access badge. I grabbed it and ran to catch up with him, handing it over so he could access the elevator and other areas of the building.

I caught up with him just outside the elevator. His hands were occupied-one carrying his laptop and the other holding his phone as he spoke on a call. I approached and placed the badge in the pocket of his shirt. As I inserted the card, I accidentally brushed against his chest. When I felt the contact with his body, I realized what I had done. I lifted my head, and he was looking down at me, as he was much taller. He was serious and silent, just staring at me. In his gaze, I saw something I could not decipher. Intimacy? Desire? His intense blue eyes were locked onto mine, and for a moment, I felt like I could get lost in them. A shiver ran down my spine. I turned around and walked quickly back to the meeting room.

I sat down, and while others were talking, I remained absorbed in thoughts about what I had done. How could I have been so bold as to put the card there? I knew it was instinctive, but that gesture was too intimate. It is like removing lint from a man's sweater-that is something you do with someone you are close with. It is a gesture for a wife or a girlfriend, not an assistant! I felt bad for sending the wrong message. It was not my intention, but what haunted me the most was his gaze. I replayed the scene in my mind over and over, and every time I reached the part where he looked at me the way he did, I felt uneasy.

I did not think of him romantically. I have always been careful to maintain boundaries at work and not get involved romantically with any colleague, especially not with supervisors. Although he seemed handsome and manly when I first met him at the airport, I always saw him as my manager and nothing more-until now.

I spent the entire day thinking about the scene, replaying it countless times-on the way back home, at home, when I went to bed until I fell asleep. At midnight, I woke up wet and excited; I had had an erotic dream about him. I tried to downplay it, thinking it was probably because of what happened in the office. Most likely, it would fade from my memory in the days to come.

The next day, I arrived at the office early, and when he came in, I acted as normal as possible, as if nothing had happened. He did the same, either pretending or genuinely unaffected, leaving me thinking I was just imagining things.

During the weeks leading up to the board meeting, we worked extensively and were always with other team members, so we never had a chance to be alone, and I was grateful for that. The scene still haunted me, and every time I saw him, I could not stop thinking about what had happened. I started having dreams about him, not just erotic ones, but all kinds. Even incoherent dreams where he had no reason to be present, yet there he was. I had considered talking to him to clear things up and stop obsessing, but I refrained because I was not sure if the incident had the same impact on him. He might not even remember, and I would come off as crazy, overly dramatic, and reveal too much about myself.