id distractions, is useless to me now. It's the school's comm system that crackles to life, deliveri

r pushed boundaries. The principal has a reputation for being picky, so I make sure my earrings a

al's desk, her shoulders slightly hunched. When she turns, her eyes-so full of something deep and aching-hit me like a wave. T

return the embrace. A laugh bubbles up, shaky, unc

cipal looks grim in her se

. Helen doesn't let go. She's holding me like somet

eye, and the expression she wears is full of

ng at me like that

is quiet, careful. "Your mom called. I think she's been try

o complain about, or a guilt trip locked and loaded. And when she does call, I

hat did

h like it hurts. "R

an ambulance siren parked inside my skull. I can still hear Helen's voice,

's d

ding on, like she knew this was coming. Someone-maybe the principal-rushe

My breath catches in my throa

, Ray. B

wimming into my line of sight-teachers I barely

is d

ast forward. A scream rips out

like that'll undo it

I say, but my voice is unravel

of it-but I don't care. I don't feel it. I can't feel anything exc

a?" I whisper, and even I can

om didn'

y pure fear, and that alone makes panic rise like a wave in my chest. My

ghing, venting, making dumb plans we'd never follow through on

Mom," I say, pushing up to my feet, but hands stop m

Dad... I have

Just breathe, Ray

" I snap, lungs stuttering, th

chest tightens like it's caught in a vise. Black cre

I ca

!" someon

en I'm

ike metal and the fluorescent lights are too bright, too st

pit

itor. The weight in my limbs like s

sedat

My head's clearer but only just. I turn and s

d

he's a hallucination.

ad

ting hours. "Thank God. Sweetheart,

y arms. I glance around-bare white walls, a stiff matt

I ask. My voice

m not to tell you until you were back home. I'm sorry, s

e's E

enc

s tremble and suddenly my father-the man I've never once

en sobs tears somethi

hen it h

s r

s go

We're twins," I say, like it's something he doesn't know-like saying it out loud will chang

don't believe it. Not fully. Not yet. The grief is there

es at them, but his lips won't stop trembling. Then he pulls me into him, arms tight.

ht shatter. My eyes burn, and I look up at him-his eyes are my eyes, the same s

e?" I whisper. "I

gain. Then finally, he nods. Barely. His voice is a rasp. "It was

throat goes tight, my whole body starts to

me back in, but

true! She's not-

but I'm screaming now. Screaming and flailing, like if I c

ease God-please, please, just le

plits apart and my lungs can't pull in air and my

ve me the sedative, ever

ic

d to stay behind-wrap things up, get my passport in order, handle the logistics that felt

wide open, and the doorway is flooded with people-neighbor

e from the trunk, and jus

the hallway with that bright voice and that big laugh, throwing her arms around me like w

but I've cried so much already I had to wear sunglasses to hide how red and swo

house. The street's quiet. It's always been a sleepy road, barely any traffic. So who the hell was driving so fas

ere the

closing up again. I'm going to cry-again-but I f

ing people to make way so I can get in. And the

. Every bre

tand why at fi

The stares.

nger now-lon

e doorway, I realize I l

ach me, offering soft condolences, hugs, and kind words about my safe return

ls me into a tight hug, and whispers into my

ke I might fall a

ne, on the verge again. He reaches for my bag and says gently, "I

ah

rt stu

ah

e, the doorway, I hadn't thought of him. Had

make my way down the hallw

een her look like this. So small. So... defeated. Her black dress swallows her already pale frame. Her

I breat

ock onto me-and suddenly they flood with lig

ena

ulders and sobs into my neck. "I knew it. I knew you weren't gone. I k

r. I let

n't tell her

'm not

'm Esm

e shattering th

en-his

ough.

h says softly, s

unkempt, his face sunken in all the places where laughter used to

Elena," he

t's