pte

kick in, uneasy, so I slip out of sight, grab the newspaper

tting off

rst until I notice Hel

use, the kind that always reveals just a little too much. She works as a receptionist at a big law firm, and men are

lirting w

seeing someone, I even showed her a picture, bu

e wors

ches the hand Helen throws at him

n. Then I step

nt explanation for this. I'm

my hand, trying to breathe in, relea

ing which he's probably still c

, and moving toward pissed. I stare at my phone, his name

t in the lobby of my building, we agreed to meet a

r breath, exhaling hard, and pick u

voice is gla

ou?" he asks

ou mean, w

you in your lobby for

hang up. "Waiting?" I say. "What happ

made plans, and I waited. I thought you'd come

u went to my

your roomm

ds shifting in the backgroun

ith Helen. I don't know

my voice going soft, aw

quite hear, then I catch the sound o

n the lobby, run into Helen, and started chatting with her to pass the time until

ld be mo

act that he was flirting. Could I? B

aw him burst through the door, glance into the

er

lding with the phone still pressed to my ear and an awkwa

e you been st

ty mi

as still active, ended it, shoved it into his pocket, and walked up to me.

ay it always does when I feel a confrontat

silent and I real

friend's funny." He said it l

dead gorgeous." I

e drop-dead

e to pick your girlfriend up and

. And it was harmless. Didn't mean a

ys a lot about you," I said, sidesteppi

ot wearing the jacket I said I woul

it, eyes meeting mine. "Let's not pretend

t my arm, but h

rted with her-big deal. It's no

ns as I sense his ag

d when I said yes, when I accepted to see you as more

ar starts to rise in my chest. It's not lonely here, there are people p

gize. "I'm sorry, I just really want this to work, but this is

already seen through him. "Wha

n it in the

in his eyes has scared me. I need to cut this in the bud. Memories of the terror we l

I try to move, he grabs me again. "Hey! You ca

ean, hard edge. I thought Joshua was kind, nice, b

y thought you were just a boring bookworm until I got to know you. Now I'm hooked. I promise, I don't cheat. I'm loyal. What you saw in the lobby was just playing. Guys

lena, she would knee him in the balls and spit on him while he howled in pain. But I'm

of pepper spray right in his eyes. He screams and staggers back, giving me the chance t

g up the stairs. Helen is laughing; I'm gasping, and th

sly, "thanks. How did yo

waist to catch her breath. "You know h

a body that's well maintained and worshipped, it's a wonder why Helen always seems to date mostly broke and dangerous men. One time it was a

while to remember he's your man 'cause I've got a lot going on and I o

e moves

when I figured out who he was, I cut it off-told him to call you f

racted to crazy, messed-up guys... maybe this motherfucker w

oy, was I glad I brought my pep

xth time I've failed at finding love and this time is worse. "I think I'm going