think it actually hurts but if there's one day she

tching her say "I do" to the man I love. The man

e-walls happy. And also... crushed. Totally wrecked, and maybe some of that is leaking through my eye

e me back. He's been my best friend for years, and not once-not once-did I catch anything more than casual admiration in his hazel e

ow that warmth never reached me the wa

r short. I had to. I needed to feel like someone else, someone se

sister. Not by my name. Never Esmeray. N

Elena talks, laughs, flirts, connects. Me? I pull back. I think too much,

, Esmeray? It's your sister

ling the bride and groom out of the church for photos. I didn't mean to fall behind. My feet just kept

" I say, but it d

weren't cheap. Maybe you'll meet someone today to

like we're sharing some joke. She

No one knows what I'm holding bac

ck in a breath, stiffen my

remember posing. Just... standing ther

ds of honor, posing for what felt like hours until my heels feel li

ntine and Christine didn't come back with me. The hotel room

ousekeeping after we rushed out this m

t's rea

ten every time I saw a bridal ad, every time Elena dragged me to look at

lips start to tremble. Don't cry. I c

one. Forever. One more hour and I can bury thi

ps through

re I'm ready, mechanical. I glance in the mirror. No tear streak

ay

t v

against my ribs. No. That

door. I fail completely. My hands are cold, s

ut before I can

e when I see it's not j

ng, ever-joking Peter, and he's looki

hem. Peter, too bright, too eager. Noah staring at the

s, his voice all charm and smooth glass.

k is strange on him. Makes him look younger. His hazel eyes d

n Peter, right? He's been beating me

ssing tight beneath my ribs, but my face doesn't move. I keep

"Nice to meet y

known each other for years. T

ah isn't standing there trying to set me up wi

'd be

iltered, the kind that fills a room whether invited or not. I've he

" he grins. "I know this i

oah, because looking at Noah is dangerous.

hat do you say? Maid of honor, be

f it gets them out of my doorway, out of my sight,

ir in excitement. "Thanks. I promise my two

e. "I'll try not

taining his excitement. "I'll s

is thinner, my eyes finding

m. When I finally look up, his arm is slung

tant. What did I ever see in him? What made me

ey

ugh the hall, urgent.

hoping. Hoping when it shouldn't. Hoping when it knows be

s and after last night..." He gestures vaguely-first at the door, then toward where Peter disappeared. "He's just been bothering me about you and... he really,

d looked great while Valentine and Christine gushed like I was headed to prom. I can't look a

the weight of everything is pres

rried to my sister? Or good like the girl who spilled her heart on the

dy and lift my head. I manage a smile. It's weak, fak

voice too calm. "But Peter's f

him see. I press my lips together, bracing against th

s. I think Peter would be good for yo

ched, breath coming a little too fast. I can't cry

still weird. I promise I'll never bri

eating at him. If I don't smile, if I don't act like I'm fine he'll

orce a smile. "You're the one making it awkward, Noah. J

"I'm gonna leave you to that. Hope you

ast glance and zi

ust got cut. I walk into the room, shut the door, and press my back against

mercy, clawing up my throat, spilling hot and broken down my