How to Accidentally start a Cult
p Following Me (Unles
ions the next morning:Stop wea
or the forese
ow to stop a cu
ons were ignored
ople chanting "Hustle is holy! Hustle is holy!" while holding u
uy wore a sandwich board that simp
asked, still in his pajama pants an
rded woman gasp
ked. "Oka
d it again just to say, "Serio
the kitchen counter, meditating over a ce
eady?" Trevor asked
Trevor. I'm not r
ro. You've ignited the fla
tchup counts as a vegetable. I
llow with a spoon, and muttered, "Yo
st a reasonable distraction-Nat
a cult accidentall
uora post titled "Lol,
nto a glowing sun with the caption "THE RADIANT RISE OF FLANDER
than F
We Need
i
ssFit. I've been watching your rise... and I'm pretty sure this is either a
, I want a
ffeehouse. Noon. Don't
La
the window, where someone was now se
t, "a podcast person w
milk?" Trevor replied.
ffeehouse –
ng a triple espresso and looking unim
she said with
to give me a chicken in exchang
p now. "Did
..
uld've been a kil
r energy Lana was radiating. She was sharp-eyed, sharp-voiced, and somehow managed to
esso. "I thought you were a meme. Or a scammer. O
technically
,000 followers, two online forums dedicated to your 'teachings,' and
mentioned
in the vibe and the vi
h. Da
uestion, Nate. Are you pretending to be a
e. I'm not qualified to lead a gro
y're lis
st my
its own shoelaces. "Then you better figure out your
let around to sh
ared in
ozens of people sitting on yoga mats, meditating to looped
just disappear,
ugging a lukewarm pizza and staring
he was being treated like a prophet with a fan club and homemade sh
ye
s, buried under sarcasm an
mall, very loud-was
just wen
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