THE SPACE BETWEEN US

silence. Others, with kindn

-

ir apartment with the taste of Caberne

the clock. Pretend that not

it. And the more we tried to pretend

forecasts that had more footnotes than a dissertation. I said yes to every meeting

l not

ne's chasing you," he said

head," I replie

nd longer than usual. No

thing. Not yet. And in tr

ne anything wrong. We h

een leanin

g, blur faster when you

ree days later-thi

of weekend "alignment exercise," where senior staff would talk culture and vision ove

ed me la

said. "Bring your insight. And bring your g

nis. But I wasn'

round porches. White stone paths that led nowhere i

lready there

e edge of the terrace with two other wives from the leadership circle. She looked relaxed in a way I

s met b

idn't

at f

later, while everyone else was sampling whiskey or

ching me alone. "Didn't

fted into

"Did they tell you there's

g to miss sp

sharp between us. Everything about th

first. "Have y

s.

can be when they're watching the weath

ond to understan

n I

lli

en't done anything. I'm not accusin

ted t

t was just misplaced empathy or the product o

tead, I

eel

the truth had co

alk," she said, "s

ed early with a scotch and a phone call that "couldn't wait,"

, the stars bright

n't si

Maybe six. Enough to claim inno

at I miss mo

ait

rom being surprised. Not polite chuckles, not the

at me. "I ha

h Da

e wasn't trying to be impressive all

nk it's gon

e so gradually, you don't realize you've outgrown them u

d not

I unde

ace years ago, before she walked out of a 2

r ear. "You make it hard to forge

me somewh

s like that," I said, my

hy

I'll beli

at me the

alrea

dn't

dn't

for a long time, n

sed between us. Something dangerous. Something that wo

-

was in a rare mood-brig

breakfast, smiling as if this were a treat. "You two shoul

choked on

eadable. A goddess b

oks, pretending none of us had shadows longer than the trees. P

d my shoulder. "You know, Lillian says

e. She

ed with a laugh. "Broody,

Just enough to make

ne briefly, just once,

ng inside me

y, the silence between

xted about

n under the willow tree. Never spo

hanged e

r reasons that didn't make sense. "Just in the

e, she f

e, she l

I le

r this was, it

't sure I want

the safety of unspoken desire. As long as we didn't act on it, it wa

don't stay s

ut what we were

ater, Daniel asked me

here they polished your shoes while you at

o bourbons, n

ndon," he said, businesslike. "

, sippin

lso wanted to tal

down, just sl

abou

atch

Quieter at home. Distracted. Not

y face neutral. "

smiling faintly. "I'

e lean

t along wel

't a qu

smile. "She's e

id. "Before everything got c

k anot

t used to fail at things. Back when we had nothing but a matt

ow what to

rned

he ever seems like she's slippi

his

, I felt something

il

raw

t sure I could

't sure I