For The Kids, I Stayed

came

I forgot my self-r

artbreak, every ache I had tucked under my skin while i underwent the D&C or so he

ppy. Yay. I had got

row up. I was about to be yanked out of my na

antibiotics on an empty stomach with no money, no one to call, and certainly not him. I couldn't even call him for m

e back on and flash him

did. Most t

just called him directly and

"No, I

call cut. He ne

stupid.

or him. All my friends had traveled back home, b

idea of a person with big dreams. The idea of being part of something grand, meanin

lready made up my mind. I was ready for a breakup. I

how he wasn't going to leave her. He told me he had don

t hor

wanted to walk away with some gra

ave me a

ide

gnal the end. That was it for me. That tiny moment held all the

ight. I couldn't take it that night. I asked myself why I was so desperate. Why I w

ough my stomach. Right then, I made a decision I wouldn't take t

uldn't tell anyone. I couldn't open up. I had built a wall o

Over and over, he tried. Finally, I picked one

, Ubong begged

to date me? was it not Ubong that i wanted hi

I could say was, "My life is a mess. I

away every other guy in my

here was no proposal. No romantic moment. No clear start. His previous relations

him. That mu

it. I sh

own up for myself. I sacrificed a lot. Especially my education. I barely attended cla

, I told my friends

omeone his na

ting like a girl in her

a what was w

er to Demma's house. I wanted to show her off. I wanted him to meet

he wasn't around. We went in and wait

beans, and waited for him. When he arrived, I had not fried the beans he instructed me just how he liked it not salty, rich, flavorf

tchen, they were outs

onversation I wasn't invited to. I felt uneasy. Like a shadow in my

calli

ome and help

didn't

. Too comfortable.

centrate. I kept checking on them, feeling something I couldn't na

ined. But

just me and Freckles, she to

were talking about?

told Demma sh

is re

that? How are you

it me

lt..

ight. Something

feel so comfortable asking her t

aside like I had learned to do.

ngs he'd dismiss me. Say I was overthinking. That

k, I see what I

gs I ignored jus

no chemistry. It looked as though I was not the one he wanted, but he just had to cause I was manageable. Looking back now, I knew he never loved me; he managed me. Demma managed me. ma

re important than school, and making sure he loved me was more important. I don't

t he would sleep with me, and the next day I would go treat infection. That became a norm and my life,

o grow up to know that love

ll date, hence why I break my

er is about to be quenched. Then, just as soon as its mouth stays wide open to take a lick or a

elationship wasn't juicy or filled with romance; it was sad and boring. But 'cause I needed to ke

could fix him. I gave myself that task and assignment. Even after the abortion,

k flas

gave me the keys to his house. It was a boys' quarters in the master's compound-a small compound, no water running in the house. I cooked and washed the plates. I kept in mind that his boy in the co

profile had pictures of he and his fiancée scattered around it. I w

is dirty clothes, used the little water available, and cleaned the whole house. I got detergent, took his clothes to my house, and wa

't as excited as I hoped he would be. I later got to fi

to reconcile them. Wow. I was impressed. In my mind, he was respected-

we could stroll to the ATM together. While strolling, we had the privilege of strolling together. He walked me to the ATM where I withdrew ₦1,000, and he saw it. It cracked him up and I was confus

called to know where I was and I told him. His friend drove him down to pick us up 'cause his car was bad. Then he

He saw Ubong's call and he flipped, entered his friend's car, and the

hat transpired, but let's move on t

as an understanding babe I was happy for him. Told

permission from me to go, but never said it out loud. I went to his house to wait up for him. I was all alone till the next morning a

t the wedding and as

onver

Where

at you

. I'll text y

pped t

ater, a te

ng bag and put your han

a with, unzipped it, and did as he said. I sa

, what do you wan

check the

of the left and I pulled out a li

opened it. It was faded, but I forced my

him bac

s. Do yo

s, I l

, keep it.

re, th

aged. I did not like the proposal, but I forced myself to accept it. So that was it?? Not the fancy, exciting proposal I had dreamed o

self believe it was perfect-

would have returned his ring and left-who knows? But that night, as he slept, I watched him sleep and looked at all that was imperfect in him. I loved him, i cared for him and i wanted to be there for