When The Wide Wyldewood's Get's Angry

cked into laboratory cages and fed a non-stop diet of raw cocaine. The hardware store had never been more crowded in its entire history, as even family members

't going away. If anything, that little voice in the back of my head was whisperin

g of the 'more is better' school of thought, he was probably adding it to everything of hers that he could get his hands on - and with massive doses. Carrie and her companions hadn't slept in over four days now and from the sound of things they were to

couldn't be done. Finally I'd given up and flat out ordered him to stop using it. Walt refused, saying he had other

nd also the rear view of her when she left with her long ponytail nearly brushing against her delightful rounded ass. She was only a Wilde by marriage but she seemed extremely loyal and dedicated to the family and this operation. She would stop by each mornin

a military chow hall or the NCO's Club, I had never gained much in the way of practical cooking skills. Marsha, after catching me in flagrante with a Stouffer's Hungry-Man frozen dinner late one nig

certing the way she would look at me sometimes ... it still gave my stomach the flutters. H

ere was not a single government or law enforcement official now willing to take her direct calls. A few organizations, such as the Secret Service, now had her phone number blocked entirely. This

aked calls, Carrie's real ones were become even better, stranger and wilder. After the fourth day, we just to

licopters stealing her thoughts, mystery trains running day and night in deep tunnels underneath her house, mysterious Men in Black that all had Ronald Reagan's face (and a thirst for human blood), vampires a

to accuse President Bush of abducting her newborn baby, murdering her dog, cattle rustling, and stealing her morning newspaper, etc ... and loudly, clearly and dire

S

t isn't one of them. It doesn't matter if you don't personally like the guy (I had real no opinion either way), but threatening to 'pig-fuck' the guy with a sawed off shotgun is just asking for trouble - seriously BAD trouble

down, the better. Having the FBI or Secret Service possibly show up to haul her away was inconveni

had now made her blatantly and dangerously unstable. I ordered Joe to get Walt under control and cancel the drugging

s weak sauce heater 500 yards over the center field flagpole whil

t downhill

or and stomped out, loudly washing my hands of the entire situation. Then I went straight over to Rollie's o

am concerned this operation is over and done. Fini. If you have even half of the sense tha

er off in a straitjacket to a padded room or she achieves room temperature status. It's what the Elders want." He added in a more subdued tone to suggest tha

here near the splash this is going to make when this all goes bad - which it will, soon. The fed's are coming ... probably they're already on their way here with real black helicopters and some genuine men in black with lots of guns and a willingness to use them. Do you think even for a moment that Carrie is going to take a look

work out ... they usually do." I just shook my head and turned for the door

once they arrive and it could look awful embarrassing to everyone if they find a bug already in place at the switching station. Your FM wireless bug under the cabin ought to be fairly safe. At worst, that one can always be bl

ore he retired and was Ned's and mine childhood home. It was about a thirty minute walk up and down a couple of hills and I could have driven over there in about five minutes but I wanted to use the

their dark suits and sunglasses in the rental black Yukon SUV, trying to look vaguely official and menacing. We'd given them the operation nicknames of Bert and Ernie - and i

was outside. Staring down the barrel of a shotgun being held by a seriously drug addled and probably mentally insane woman was undoubtedly the brav

times and I know we're all having a bit of a family disagreement right now, but I've got som

hings are starting to get weird around here ... bad things might soon be happening. It's just n

voices can't find you for awhile. Carrie, please j

her's old Remington I think (he'd passed it on Ned after I'd given dad a new Mossburg 500 Persuader for Christmas a few years ago).

rt for them. They're coming ... but we're waiting for them. We're ready for them and we're going to fight them all off and win. We'll put stakes in their hearts and turn them all to dust ... and then we'll have some cake. I'd rather have some

a final lucid moment at the end, of sorts, but the die was pretty much cast. She and her friends were pretty much past reasonable discussion now and the next person to knock on her door

entire long dark night, but our luc

Unfortunately, yes. I said I'd be right on my way and would hop in my truck and could be there in about five minutes. I guess I was looking forward to getting the drama part done and over with so things around here

cordingly to the list on one of their whiteboards ran in the order of, DEA, FBI, Secret Service, some branch of Military Intelligence (yes, it really is

ller in the bust than my normal preference, but for her I was willing to make exceptions. She was wearing sensible but expensive looking shoes that coordinated well with her tailored professional suit, but I thought she'd look absolutely stunning in high heels ... and not much else. No current wedding rings, but I thought there was a slight hint on her finger from where on

wn to brass tacks and started to grill me right away. If it got me more quality time looking into her deep

, has directed me to speak with you instead. Why is this so? The records indicate that a certain Nelson Nellis Wilde is in fact her husband, and the house she is curre

urthouse in Whiston, but I couldn't give the exact filing date ... probably sometime about three months ago. As for my relationship with my brother, we are fair close and I have been his primary anchor in this troublesome time for him. If you have met my brother Ned (I got a faint nod) you can tell that he is a rather ... unco

uffing on a joint behind the hardware store. Fortunately she had little interest in Ned's trivial drug usage and it didn't take her long apparently to

m and possibly other psychological issues as well. In my non-medical opinion she is currently quite deranged and is largely unable to distinguish fantasy from reality. She's not a particularly bad

elusional and she should be treated as such. I saw this myself yesterday when I went to her house to speak with her." The Sheriff, caught by surprise at this news, just about fell out of his chair onto his oversized well-padded ass. Like many law enfor

er. You will not be able to reason with her. If you try to approach her using force or scare her in any way she will attack back hard. She has my father's old shotgun, I know for certain, and I'd heard vague rumors earlier in the week that several of her friends in there with her might possibly have unregistered weapons and/or explosives with them in the cabin. I strongly a

y Ms. Wallace the exact opposite advice. Mostly likely he'd been given some sort of orders to resolve the situ

was apparently reluctant to take that chance. He kept assuring his government guest that his Deputies and his

rly pleased with what I had told her. I relaxed a bit and prepared myself to sidle away out of there at the earliest opportunity

rals in my day and this particular short and overweight sack of pathetic shit couldn't have given an ulcer to a lowly two-striper on permanent KP duty. The Sheriff wasn't technically family, his parents hadn't moved to the Wildewood until the Great Depressi

RU team over to Carrie's ... yesterday. The ass was determined to make this a full fledged ratfu

vy Tahoe SUV with dark tinted windows and government plates. I mut

e short drive over to Carrie's. My crotch liked very much what my brain was fantasizing and I think (but can't prove) I caught her sneaking an appr

were both sitting in their black Yukon pretending to be sinister until they got a look at a real fed, who had much mor

f I was lucky I'd find out that this was all just a bad dream and I'd wake up to find myself back in Iraq, where I'd be safe. They got the hint fast and s

k - don't tell at its best. If the pair of those doofusses had any sense at all they wouldn't stop

ing and pulled into Carrie's driveway and parked about halfway up to the cabin. The sound of m

ommon sense. I couldn't have agreed more. I got out of the car and gave my forehead a few token bangs

ies and every busybody in the County were now arriving by the moment. The Sheriff, his chest puffed out like a bull gorilla and a .38 Chief's Special revolver in hand, decided it was good and time to get the circus

nesses, and they started to set their sniper teams up. He then gave his Under-Sheriff a poke with his .38 revolver and dire

riff. He'd done six years in the Marine Corps including two tours in the Big Sandbox right after Gulf War I. Tha

ed next, really to no ones great surprise. Oliver walked up the three porch steps to the door and was greeted by a blast of both barrels of double-O buckshot right straight through the front door before he could

n't move. I saw the entire thing happen as if it were occurring in slow motion. I

directing his men to all open fire and was emptying his own revolver a

sbelief. Damn she was beautiful when she was pissed off! At

Deputies, a nice young kid named Greg Waller W

r your visit to Carrie. We've checked at her house and she hasn't been home