When The Wide Wyldewood's Get's Angry

en though he is one of my closest and most elderly uncles, as my hardware store was just a stones throw away on the other side of the hill from the bar. Joe never bothered to

t of my hardware story leaving nothing but a dirt trail arou

ewood folks here in south-eastern Missouri. Things change very slo

a hundred years, during which the name outside may have changed a few times but the only changes inside are purely cosmetic. Here is where the family business gets done. It's the

tives like the Wild's, Wilde's, Wylde's, Wilder's, and so forth. There are several other local "sister" families as well, some of which even predate James Joseph Wylde's settlement here in 1851. We even still have a minor family branch back in Lovett County, Texas of a few Wilde's that didn't quite all emi

in my opinion and we supposedly own (openly or secretly) and/or control a pretty decent chunk of these fairly remote mountains (at least 1000 square miles), although you'd be hard pressed to find mo

do School of Mines and work their lives managing our numerous mining interests. The dullards (and most "non-family" folk) handle the more mundane mining jobs, unless their family owns farming, ranching or timber lands for them work instead. It's good and steady work at the mines - nearly every Wilde

all amounts of silver associated with the galena. Frankly though, crushed rock for concrete and masonry is really our largest and most profitable mining industry and our on

inancial lights usually get kept firmly hidden under any number of bushels. Our houses appear very old and plain on the outside - any style or extravagances saved for what's inside, hidden from the sight of others. Wilde's that like to show off what they've got usually don

Having little love for most aspects of our government, we keep our financial affairs even quieter and the tax men as far away as possible. One of our oldest traditions is in fact avoiding the revenuers, which definitely includes the IRS. You can be quite sure that most family jobs don't report more than a fraction of their r

ads in attending college next year. Fortunately, we have several other very traditional Wilde occupations other than a life in the mines: working for a railroad, join

re undoubtedly Wilde's working at every single one of them. Often in positions of considerable authority or family 'usefulness'. It's common family knowledge that "in the good

, from engines to caboose ... and everythi

to abscond with at least a railcar (undoubtedly with something worth absconding with inside it), and according to rumor, about every twenty years or so some misguided and kleptomaniac inclined relative of mine will 'misplace' an enti

wink and a smile with a sly shake of the head. Folks asking too many of these sorts of questions do tend to get late night visits from concerned friends worried about their

very "off-limits". Padlocks and security doors soon became no match for a very curious teenager with a mail-order set of lockpicks ... and a willingness to learn how to use them at 3 a.m. in the morning wit

r family elders control nearly everything, especially the more dodgy criminal activities, very quietly behind the scene. God help the freelancer that exercised his itchy railroad fingers without the express consent and direct approval of the family Elders! Whoever they act

get outsiders involved. Strangers and outsiders are very much four letter words in the Wilde lexicon. In a perfect world we'd like

ons about a matter, but just as often he'll just simply dictate a decree from the august personages he serves down to us lowly peons and minions. He's a surly old git, but he's family ... and more importantly he'

ailroad work either, so I followed one of the other acceptable and traditional career paths and I joined the Army. In an extremely unusual display of military common sense, the Army personnel computer in assignments decided that I was most suited to working with various military support Railway Operating Battal