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Comic History of England

Chapter 8 THE NORMAN CONQUEST COMPLEX COMMINGLING OF FACETIOUS ACCORD AND IMPLACABLE DISCORD.

Word Count: 1377    |    Released on: 30/11/2017

n: WILLIAM T

years and permit the invader to die of exposure. Thus, excommunicated by the Pope and not feeling very well anyway, Harold went into the battle of Hastings, October 14, 1066. For nine hours they fought, the English using their celebr

ted to over ninety-seven, to say nothing

the nobility of the Sout

wards disinterred, and, all signs of vitality having disappeare

ielded to the Normans t

quick-witted nobility. The rich lived in great magnificence, with rushes on the floor, which were changed every

ully made in France and

ed the abode of wealth,

breathing heavily upon

e pampered child of

h favor by the Anglo-Saxons, who were much given to feasting and merriment. In those pioneer times the "

ipal export, and fine cloths were taken in exchange from the Continent. W

in the way of education, and even the nobility

ina, or do sign-work and carriage painting for the nobility. St. Dunstan was quite

UNSTAN WAS NOTED FOR

orman, as shown in the accompanying steel engraving copied from a piece of tapestry now in possession of the author, and which descend

THELING AND THE NOBILI

THE CO

e new sovereign. It was more difficult to change a sovereign in

ed the regular Norman army, the impression getting out that the Anglo-Saxons were rebellious, w

got them to wait on him. He rewarded his Norman followers, however, with the contraband est

e out. People who had been foreclosed and ejected from their lands united to shoot the Norman usurper, and it was not uncommon for a Nor

ONS INTRODUCING TH

Norman. Malcolm was a brave man, and had, it is said, captured so many Anglo-Saxons and brought them back to Scotland, that t

WILLIAM WAS F

d, William mischievously laid waste sixty miles of fertile country, and wilfully slaughtered one hundred thousand people,-men, women, and ch

the Normans used the school tax to build large, repulsive castles in which to woo the handcuffed Anglo-Saxon maiden at their leisure. An Anglo-Saxon m

alty for killing a deer or boar without authority was

d the curfew, which he had rung in the evening for his subjects in order to remind them that it was time to put out the lights, as well as the cat, and reti

the old gentleman at one time, and would have killed him anonymously, each wearing at the time a galvanized iron dinner-pail ove

e features of his reign. It resulted from an

ty of Mantes, and laid it in ashes at his feet. These ashes were still hot in places when the great conqueror rode through them, and his horse becoming restive, threw His Royal Altitoodleum on the pommel of his sadd

EMISE OF WILLIAM

of vassalage. In this way the common people were cheerily permitted the use of what atmosphere they needed for breathing purposes, on their solemn promise to return it,

EUDAL SYSTEM WAS NOW

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1 Chapter 1 INVASION OF CAESAR: THE DISCOVERY OF TIN AND CONSEQUENT ENLIGHTENMENT OF BRITAIN.2 Chapter 2 THE VARIOUS ROMAN YOKES THEIR GROWTH, DEGENERATION, AND FINAL ELIMINATION.3 Chapter 3 THE ADVENT OF THE ANGLES CAUSES WHICH LED TO THE REHABILITATION OF BRITAIN ON NEW LINES.4 Chapter 4 THE INFLUX OF THE DANES FACTS SHOWING CONCLUSIVELY THEIR INFLUENCE ON THE BRITON OF TO-DAY.5 Chapter 5 THE TROUBLOUS MIDDLE AGES DEMONSTRATING A SHORT REIGN FOR THOSE WHO TRAVEL AT A ROYAL GAIT.6 Chapter 6 THE DANISH OLIGARCHY DISAFFECTIONS ATTENDING CHRONIC USURPATION PROCLIVITIES.7 Chapter 7 OTHER DISAGREEABLE CLAIMANTS FOREIGN FOIBLES INTRODUCED, ONLY TO BE EXPUNGED WITH CHARACTERISTIC PUGNACITY.8 Chapter 8 THE NORMAN CONQUEST COMPLEX COMMINGLING OF FACETIOUS ACCORD AND IMPLACABLE DISCORD.9 Chapter 9 THE FEUDAL SYSTEM SUCCESSFUL INAUGURATION OF HOMOGENEAL METHODS FOR RESTRICTING INCOMPATIBLE DEMAGOGUES.10 Chapter 10 THE AGE OF CHIVALRY LIGHT DISSERTATION ON THE KNIGHTS-ERRANT, MAIDS, FOOLS, PRELATES, AND OTHER NOTORIOUS CHARACTERS OF THAT PERIOD.11 Chapter 11 CONQUEST OF IRELAND UNCOMFORTABLE EFFECTS FOLLOWING THE CULTIVATION OF AN ACQUISITORIAL PROPENSITY.12 Chapter 12 MAGNA CHARTA INTRODUCED SLIGHT DIFFICULTIES ENCOUNTERED IN OVERCOMING AN UNPOPULAR AND UNREASONABLE PREJUDICE.13 Chapter 13 FURTHER DISAGREEMENTS RECORDED ILLUSTRATING THE AMIABILITY OF THE JEW AND THE PERVERSITY OF THE SCOT.14 Chapter 14 IRRITABILITY OF THE FRENCH INTERMINABLE DISSENSION, ASSISTED BY THE PLAGUE, CONTINUES REDUCING THE POPULATION.15 Chapter 15 MORE SANGUINARY TRIUMPHS ONWARD MARCH OF CIVILIZATION GRAPHICALLY DELINEATED WITH THE HISTORIAN'S USUAL COMPLETENESS.16 Chapter 16 UNPLEASANT CAPRICES OF ROYALTY INTRODUCTION OF PRINTING AS A SUBSIDIARY AID IN THE PROGRESS OF EMANCIPATION.17 Chapter 17 BIOGRAPHY OF RICHARD III. BEING AN ALLEGORICAL PANEGYRIC OF THE INCONTROVERTIBLE MACHINATIONS OF AN EGOTISTICAL USURPER.18 Chapter 18 DISORDER STILL THE POPULAR FAD GENERAL ADMIXTURE OF PRETENDERS, RELIGION, POLITICS, AND DISGRUNTLED MONARCHS.