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Comic History of England

Comic History of England

Author: Bill Nye
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Chapter 1 INVASION OF CAESAR: THE DISCOVERY OF TIN AND CONSEQUENT ENLIGHTENMENT OF BRITAIN.

Word Count: 1258    |    Released on: 30/11/2017

ion: BUST

of the nineteenth century, the history of Great Britain has

erpraise and silly and mawkish sentiment, reside in a foreign country, or be so situated that he may

, in what he may say, guard carefully against permitting t

rt of money centre, and thither came the Pho

HE DISCOVERY OF

CAESAR CROSSI

th straw. They had no currency and no ventilation,-no drafts, in other words. Their boats were made of wicker-work plastered with clay.

ain. To spear an enemy with one of these harpoons, and then, after playing him for half an hour or so, to land hi

AESAR TREATING W

lent storm came up. The great emperor and pantata believed he was drowning, so that in an instant's ti

cked unicorns, and much improve

rsed with every kind of domestic and imported fertilizer in cunning little hillocks just bursting forth into fragrance by the roadside, then the va

h I may now and then drop as

eturning his team and flogging a Druid with whom he had disagreed rel

ests, judges, chiefs of police, p

on: PLOUGHI

no one could be a Druid who could

on: DRUID S

rning could have been seen going out behind the bush to sacrifice

r. They worshipped almost everything that had been left out overnight, and t

. For uttering such sentiments as these the Druids declared his life to be forfeit, and set one of their num

scussed as in later times, and Caesar could no

ENT OF AGRICULTURE,

a place of idolatrous worship and assassination. On Giblet Day people came for m

o soften and refine the people. Among them came General Agri

GRICOLA ENCOURAG

his chapped and soil-kissed feet and wipe them on the grass before retiring, t

unior year,-that she got her Britons together, had a steel dress made to fight in comfortably and not tight under the arms, then she said, "Is there any one here who hath a culverin with him?" One was soon found and fired. This by the Romans was regarded as a

on: ROMAN C

n warriors kissed the dust. As she waved her sceptre in token of victory the hat-pin came out of her crown,

t the time, she burst into tears just on the eve of a

on: DEATH O

f his works entitled "Half-Hours with Crowned Heads" and "Thoughts o

d in England if any inaccuracy be permitted to creep in, even through the illustrations. It is disagreeable to fall out thus early with one's artist, but the writer knows too well, and the sting yet burns and rankles in his soul where pierced the poisoned dart of an English clergyman two years ago. The write

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1 Chapter 1 INVASION OF CAESAR: THE DISCOVERY OF TIN AND CONSEQUENT ENLIGHTENMENT OF BRITAIN.2 Chapter 2 THE VARIOUS ROMAN YOKES THEIR GROWTH, DEGENERATION, AND FINAL ELIMINATION.3 Chapter 3 THE ADVENT OF THE ANGLES CAUSES WHICH LED TO THE REHABILITATION OF BRITAIN ON NEW LINES.4 Chapter 4 THE INFLUX OF THE DANES FACTS SHOWING CONCLUSIVELY THEIR INFLUENCE ON THE BRITON OF TO-DAY.5 Chapter 5 THE TROUBLOUS MIDDLE AGES DEMONSTRATING A SHORT REIGN FOR THOSE WHO TRAVEL AT A ROYAL GAIT.6 Chapter 6 THE DANISH OLIGARCHY DISAFFECTIONS ATTENDING CHRONIC USURPATION PROCLIVITIES.7 Chapter 7 OTHER DISAGREEABLE CLAIMANTS FOREIGN FOIBLES INTRODUCED, ONLY TO BE EXPUNGED WITH CHARACTERISTIC PUGNACITY.8 Chapter 8 THE NORMAN CONQUEST COMPLEX COMMINGLING OF FACETIOUS ACCORD AND IMPLACABLE DISCORD.9 Chapter 9 THE FEUDAL SYSTEM SUCCESSFUL INAUGURATION OF HOMOGENEAL METHODS FOR RESTRICTING INCOMPATIBLE DEMAGOGUES.10 Chapter 10 THE AGE OF CHIVALRY LIGHT DISSERTATION ON THE KNIGHTS-ERRANT, MAIDS, FOOLS, PRELATES, AND OTHER NOTORIOUS CHARACTERS OF THAT PERIOD.11 Chapter 11 CONQUEST OF IRELAND UNCOMFORTABLE EFFECTS FOLLOWING THE CULTIVATION OF AN ACQUISITORIAL PROPENSITY.12 Chapter 12 MAGNA CHARTA INTRODUCED SLIGHT DIFFICULTIES ENCOUNTERED IN OVERCOMING AN UNPOPULAR AND UNREASONABLE PREJUDICE.13 Chapter 13 FURTHER DISAGREEMENTS RECORDED ILLUSTRATING THE AMIABILITY OF THE JEW AND THE PERVERSITY OF THE SCOT.14 Chapter 14 IRRITABILITY OF THE FRENCH INTERMINABLE DISSENSION, ASSISTED BY THE PLAGUE, CONTINUES REDUCING THE POPULATION.15 Chapter 15 MORE SANGUINARY TRIUMPHS ONWARD MARCH OF CIVILIZATION GRAPHICALLY DELINEATED WITH THE HISTORIAN'S USUAL COMPLETENESS.16 Chapter 16 UNPLEASANT CAPRICES OF ROYALTY INTRODUCTION OF PRINTING AS A SUBSIDIARY AID IN THE PROGRESS OF EMANCIPATION.17 Chapter 17 BIOGRAPHY OF RICHARD III. BEING AN ALLEGORICAL PANEGYRIC OF THE INCONTROVERTIBLE MACHINATIONS OF AN EGOTISTICAL USURPER.18 Chapter 18 DISORDER STILL THE POPULAR FAD GENERAL ADMIXTURE OF PRETENDERS, RELIGION, POLITICS, AND DISGRUNTLED MONARCHS.