A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court

to the practical mind. However, I was generally on hand-for two reasons: a man must not hold himself aloof from the things which his friends and his community have at hear

it was on the very first day of it, too-was to start a patent office; for I knew that a country without

me to take a hand-I mean Sir Launcelot and the rest-but I said I would by and by; no hu

ry characteristic of the country and the time, in the way of high animal spirits, innocent indecencies of language, and happy-hearted indifference to morals. It was fight or look on, all day and every day; and sing, gamble, dance, carouse half the night every night. They had a most noble good time. You never saw such people. Those banks of beautiful ladies, shining in their barbaric splendors, would see a knight sprawl f

ring the quacks detaching legs and arms from the day's cripples. They ruined an uncommon good old cross-cut saw for me, and broke the saw-bu

o start a newspaper. The first thing you want in a new country, is a patent office; then work up your school system; and after that, out with your paper. A newspaper has its faults, and plenty of them, but no matter, it's hark from the tomb for a dead nation,

the more details, the more swag: bearers, mutes, candles, prayers-everything counts; and if the bereaved don't buy prayers enough you mark up your candles with a forked pencil, and your bill shows up all right. And he had a good knack at getting in the

ing; but its antique wording was quaint and sweet and simple, and full of the fragrances and flavors of the

les Isles and Gr

tle, encountered w

or smote down Sir

n came Sir Carado

rquine, knights o

d with them Sir

e Galis, that wer

Sir Percivale wi

r spears unto the

Sir Lamorak, and e

and all, to the

ther and horsed t

Gauter, knight

Sir Brandiles and

ountered mightil

ands. Then came S

ere encountered wi

olope the green kn

o Sir Launcelot.

who bare him bes

s brake his spear

e Sir Bleobaris f

saw that, he bad

te him to the eart

nge his brother, a

him, and Sir Dinad

, and Sir Sagramor

age; all these he

Aswisance of Irel

led what he might

another time, at

nd thus at every

nged his color, s

knight have ready

ce the King of I

and there Sir Gar

and all. And the

Sir Gareth smote

me wise he served

then there came

mote him down ho

agus's son Meliga

ightily and knigh

le prince cried o

well hast thou ju

ust with thee. Sir

at spear, and so

e the prince brake

upon the left sid

there, and he had

him. Truly, said

ny colors is a goo

to him Sir Launcel

that knight. Sir

in my heart for

hath had travail e

t doth so well up

part to let him o

seeth a knight h

dventure, said S

his day, and pera

lady of all that

imself and enforc

ore, said Sir Lau

have the honour; t

him from it

ks sick. I had always responded to his efforts as well as I could, and felt a very deep and real kindness for him, too, for the reason that if by malice of fate he knew the one particular anecdote which I had heard oftenest and had most hated and most loathed all my life, he had at least spared it me. It was one which I had heard attributed to every humorous person who had ever stood on American soil, from Columbus down to Artemus Ward. It was about a humorous lecturer who flooded an ignorant audience with the killingest jokes for an hour and never got a laugh; and then when he was leaving, some gray simpletons wrung him gratefully by the hand and said it had been the funniest thing they had ever heard, and "it was all they could do to keep from laughin' right out in meetin'." That anecdote never saw the day that it was worth the telling; and yet I had sat under the telling of it hundreds and thousands and millions and bil

en. I said I would be ready when he got back. You see, he was going for the Holy Grail. The boys all took a flier at the Holy Grail now and then. It was a several years' cruise. They always put in the long absence snooping around, in the most conscientious way, though none of them had any idea where the Holy Grail really was, and I don't think any of them actually expected to