Your love is killing me

Moving back into my high-end apartment, everything remained the way I left. Not a single thing was out of place.

Everything in the living room was the same. I checked the room, everything saying it all. It was an abandoned room. I could see his face, his laughter, him throwing me cushions, us cuddling, watching movies on the 65inch TV. Tears welled up my eyes, but I could not bring my eyes to drop them. Sniffing and wiping my eyes, I moved from the living room towards the bedroom. I opened the bedroom door.

The shoe rack at the wall behind the main door.

The classy handbags are on the rack at the corner of the room. My books were on the shelves, the tissue where I left them crying. Everything was exactly where I left it. I moved to the wardrobe to check, and the only thing missing was his clothes. He didn’t leave even a single sock. It was clean.

My heart shuddered. I couldn’t take the pain. It had been more than three months, but… looking at the photo on the wall, tears streamed down my face. The memories were fresh on my mind about us.

Everything in the room reminded me of him. Even his scent was still lingering in the room.

Throwing everything down from the table, I slid down the wall, sobbing my heart out.

Flashback

“You should have told me about her. Why did you cheat on me again?” I asked him. He seemed ashamed about everything.

“It was a trap. I can tell you, I was drugged.” He tried to say, but I could not take any of that

“I am done. I don’t want to go on with this. Please, James, this rollercoaster will never end. The threats, the cheating, it too much for me.” I said, trying to stand on my feet.

“We can make it work again. I promise I will do better. I have changed. You have seen me all these years. I have stopped sleeping around. I’ll be better. I swear, I love you,” He said as he tried to hug me from behind.

“We have been through this over and over again. It’s becoming a nuisance a norm. I am done. It’s too much,” I said as I tried to pull his hands off me.

“Baby, I really can’t do without you. I know I am a mess. And this time, I have decided to really change. Just give me another chance.”

“I have also made my decision. As much as I love you, the relationship is not working. It’s too toxic. I am done” With that, I left the room. I could feel him standing in the middle of the room, his hand hanging on both sides. He looked defeated, but I didn’t care at that moment. He had taken me through hell over and over. It was time I took the hard decision.

I opened the main door leaving the dejected love of my life standing watching me go. Sometimes I wished he would have done something more. He would have tried hard to stop me from leaving. But sometimes I also feel it was the best.

Walking down the street, I couldn’t keep my mind shut and kept on thinking of the things we had been through together all these years. I couldn’t help but shudder at the thought of life without him. Every corner of the street. Market, shops, staircases reminded me of him. Driven by adrenaline, my anger took the best part of me and made the hardest decision that I kept from making all those years.