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I could not believe that the place I’ve known all my life. The place I called home was in few days no longer going to be mine. Ours. Mine and mother’s. I sighed sadly and wondered why life was the way it was — cruel and crazy. My mother and I did not deserve to be treated this way. We should have a right here, in this pack. This was not just a home, it was my pride. As every werewolf out there prided themselves on their root. It was every werewolf’s dream to be born in a pack, belonging to one, grow and make a life in one. Continuing the legacy of those before us.
Alas, that was not going to be the case for my mother and I, and it was somehow my fault. No, it was all my fault.
“The moon is beautiful, isn’t it?”
I smiled at the voice even before I saw the face.
“Yes, mother. It is.”
I heard her sigh. The nostalgia that I heard from that exhalation of breath caused a deep pang of guilt in my chest. She was already missing this place even before we left.
“I’m sorry, mother.”
“What are you sorry for?”
I turned to look at her. The silver gleam of the moon washed over her beautiful face. She smiled but even the smile had sadness she did not want me to see. I knew the smile was to make me believe everything was fine and she was not bothered, but I knew. I saw through her façade.
“Mother, I know you love here as much as any werewolf of this pack. And I know that every memory you have from when you were a pup to an adult wolfess means everything to you. I’m sorry I’m the reason you’re losing it all.”
I struggled to hold back tears, my voice became thick with emotion. I had to swallow the boulder that had lodged itself uncomfortably in my throat. I was the reason all this was happening, and I wished there was some way I could stop it. I wish there was some way I could turn back the hands of time and do things better. Or have them happen differently.
“Hey, don’t berate yourself over it.” She took my hands in hers and squeezed lovingly. “It’s not your fault. No one can help what you’re going through.”
“It doesn’t change the fact that it’s all my fault. That our leaving here is because of me.”
“No.” She disagreed firmly, then the silver light beaming on her expression, she was displeased with my self-blame and self-condemnation. “Whatever happens is all on them. They chose to throw us out. It was their choice to pick on us. It was their choice to decide to make us the object of mockery amongst pack mates.”
I sighed. “You’re just trying to make me feel better.”
She shook her head slowly. “No”
“No?”
“You don’t need to feel better, because you already are better.”
I took note of the emphasis on ‘feel’ and ‘’are’.
“I’m already better?”
I questioned, feeling a bit confused.
“Yes. You are better than them, things beyond our control happen to anybody. No one is got the right to judge anyone because of certain circumstances. Ignorant, mean people.”
She uttered with some rush of anger.
“It’s okay, mother.”
“No, it is not. We are going to become rogues and you that fate is almost as awful as death. Two werewolves without packs, what are we without our packs? I’m just…just”
She trailed off and it was time for me to squeeze her hand right back. From the way her fingers held onto mine, I knew she needed the contact. I felt so bad for putting her through such. It was just me and her, my father was not in the picture. It had always been the both of us, looking out for each other. She had been the most supportive parent when she found out my problem. Never mocked nor made me feel bad about it, but others had. When they did, we'd kept them quiet until they no longer wanted us.
I sighed.
“Sit with me mother. Let’s watch the moon and stars together while reminiscing on the good memories we created here.”
I was sitting by my window and my window was wide enough to accommodate both of us. I pulled her to sit with me.
“Don’t you think I’m too old to sit and watch the stars and daydream. Or night-dream in this case.”
We both chuckled as she took her place beside me and released our hold on each other to drape an arm around my shoulders, I went into the comfort she was wordlessly offering and placed my head on her shoulder.
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