Heirs Of Passion

SABINA, 5 YEARS OLD, TESTACCIO.

I wanted to cry again but I knew how Matertera didn't like that. I miss mamma and pappa. I haven't seen them since a few nights ago. After I yelled and told mamma I hated Matertera's house. Her house always made me feel like I was being held in place by something and I didn't like it.

Mamma didn't like it either but she told me to be a good girl and they'd be back to get me in less than two days. But it's been ten days. And Matertera has been mean to me. She doesn't call me to eat and by the fourth night of going to bed hungry, I figured she wasn't going to bother calling at all like mamma did.

On day eleven, there were at least a hundred people in her house. It made the place feel smaller than it already was. I was told to stay in the little room matertera had put me in. But then after I had counted to one hundred like she'd told me to, I went downstairs. That was when I saw the people. There were so many, I couldn't count them with my fingers. The chairs and tables-mamma had taught me they were called furniture, fur-nih-ture-were pushed against the walls in the house and the people were all dressed in black and white.

Mamma had once shown me a picture of her mamma's funeral where everyone was dressed just the same. It made me want to go back upstairs but I know matertera wouldn't be happy if she didn't see me soon.

So I walk as fast as I can when I spot her in the kitchen, hoping I find a way I can help her so she wouldn't get angry at me for being inutilis et ignavus like she always said. I shake my head as if that would make the thought go away but I try because I know mamma and pappa will be here soon to take me home and mamma had made me promise to be a good girl. |Useless and lazy.|

"Puer inutilis! Veni huc." Matertera calls from her seat in the kitchen, causing me to flinch at the tone she used, as she wildly gestures with her hands to me. Mamma never spoke to me like that. |Useless child! Come here.|

The people I pass by in hurried steps look at me, making me uncomfortable. Adult stuff has never been something I liked, especially when my tummy starts feeling funny like it is right now.

When I make it to her, she drags me by my arm turning me to face an old man that was already bending over by how old I'm sure he is.

"She's the one, pappa." Matertera says, her voice low as she pushes me over to the man who had his hands at his back, refusing to catch me as I fall to the ground.

I was wearing a black dress so I knew the dirt wouldn't show but I knew if mamma saw me like this she'd be angry, so I begin to stand, to dust myself but a leg kicks me back down, the leg putting too much weight on my back so I can't stand again. From the black polished shoes in front of my face, I know it's the man.

"What is your name?" A weird male voice asks me. I can't remember what that book called this one. Ra-something, if mamma was here, she'd tell me.

She knew everything.

Extra pressure in my back makes me let out a pained cry for the first time this week. I had made sure not to say a word because matertera had said my voice was unpleasant to her.

"Speak, child." The voice calls again.

"Sabina." I gasp out, my back was starting to hurt.

A sound came from him that let me know he was pleased. I know for sure, he's happy with me when I feel the weight lift and I can slowly get up.

I look at matertera when I'm on my feet again and I see she's looking at someone else, talking with them. "Thank you. We weren't expecting things to have turned out this way."

"I understand. Death has never been planned, Claudia." A woman said, her voice sounded kind but the way she looked at me made me feel like she wasn't

"Let's hope it isn't, Flavia." Matertera said, throwing a look at me that said she was thinking something else.

"Her parents didn't deserve that kind of death, Claudia. Whatever else it is you want to do, we'll be here to take care of it before she tries again." The woman whispered but it was still very loud. She didn't know how to whisper, mamma had taught me. But it wasn't me they were talking about, right?

Matertera nods as she stands. "I don't suppose you can stay overnight, no?"

"No, that's right. We won't be able to. We'll be here tomorrow." The woman smiles this time, her smile reminding me of the witch from Snow White, making me suddenly feel cold. I did not like her at all.

It takes only a moment for matertera to stand up to take the woman and the old man to the door. A few more people follow them out and I realize there weren't that many people here after all.

It doesn't take long for the house to become empty, leaving me alone in the dark. Someone must have turned off the light forgetting I was still inside and I feel another squeeze in my chest. I'm scared. I miss pappa. He would fight all the monsters in the dark and keep me safe.

Where are they? They've never been this late when they made a promise.

I try to shake the fear, mamma would've been sad if she found out I was scared. She never liked that.

I make my way out the back door in the kitchen. There's a small pathway through the bushes that leads to a bridge that has become a place for me to get air away from matertera's house. I always felt like I couldn't breathe there.

My walk to the bridge is slow, the thoughts that come into my mind makes me feel as though I'm an old woman instead of an almost six-year old. Mamma always used to say I was too smart for my age. I could articulate better than other almost six-year olds, that's what she said but I still didn't know what articulate means. But it's pronounced as ar-ti-cyu-laite. Mamma said it was easier to know a word if you knew how to pronounce it well first.

When I finally hear the sound of the flowing stream as I get closer to the bridge, I let out the breath I was holding in.

I allow the sounds of the stream to take away the feeling of fear that I might never see mamma and pappa again.

As I get to the spot that has become a familiar space to me in the past few weeks and sit. It's at the highest point of the bridge, overlooking the stream with my legs dangling off the side, in between the support beams.

I feel fifty years old instead of five years, ten months and three days old. Mamma would've just told me everything was in my head because everything was fine. But with the way matertera had spoken about me earlier made me feel like there was definitely something.

That thought makes me remember the day I overheard matertera on the phone with someone. She had been crying like a baby. She said she did it-over and over again-and I felt shivers, wanting to cry from the fear I felt then too but I bit my lips and held my breath so I wouldn't.

There's some shuffling by my right and I become frozen like a popsicle. Afraid that whoever's sitting beside me would get offended if I made the slightest movement. I even hold my breath until I see little blue sneakers on a kid's feet settle beside mine. It's a kid.

It's a kid! With that thought, I turn to look at the boy beside me in excitement.

"Hey! I'm Sabina!" I say, my voice loud because of how excited I am. It's been forever since I got to talk to kids around my age.

The boy looks confused for a moment before a grin mirroring mine takes up half his chubby face. "Sabina's such a cute name. My mamma said cute girls have the cutest names."

"Am I cute?" I ask, my smile coming down in confusion.

He nods excitedly, swinging his legs. We just smile at each other for a moment before he frowns once again in confusion. "Why're you here alone at night?"

I sigh, my smile dropping too. "I think I'm old."

He giggles at that and I smile a little too. "Old? How old are you?"

"I'm five years," Counting them off on my fingers like I always did with mamma. " Ten months and three days old. I'm almost six."

He just stares at me for a second before bursting out in giggles. Giggles that made me giggle too.

"How old are you?" I ask once we've calmed down.

"I'm already eight!" He says with a smile, holding up eight fingers, I couldn't help but smile too.

We talked for forever that night, promising to meet there again the next night but things didn't work out the way we hoped.