Escaping the Shackles of a Toxic Family: My Struggle for Identity

My grandma Elsa Ford wouldn't let us sit at the table and told Julia and me to go eat in the kitchen in front of all the relatives.

I ignored her and pulled my mom Julia Ford to sit down.

Seeing this, Elsa raised her voice and repeated her demand.

As for me, I stood up and caused a scene in response.

Fine, let's make no exception.

(1)

In the chaos, Elsa was the first to react. She screamed, "You little brat, how dare you cause a scene!"

Before she could finish, her hand was already raised, tending to slap me.

I grabbed her wrist and glared at her fiercely. "Why can't Julia join the dinner? Listen carefully, if you weren't my grandma, it wouldn't just be the table I'd flip tonight."

Elsa was momentarily stunned by my outburst, but she quickly redirected her anger toward Julia.

"You useless bitch! You can't have a son, and you can't even teach your daughter to behave," she spat.

I couldn't believe that she got the nerve to talk about Julia like that with me standing right there.

I stepped forward, ready to confront her, but Julia held me back.

Amid the chaos, my dad Vince Ford finally spoke up. "Linsey, she's your grandma. If you don't behave yourself, I'll beat you to death."

That was my father-never standing up for his wife and daughter.

Fine, the whole family gangs up on Julia and me, right?

I was so furious that I lost control and ran to the kitchen to grab a knife.

"All you do is bully Julia and me. I'm not afraid of you. Come on, I'll chop you all up!"

Maybe they were scared of my rage because Elsa and Vince just stood there, not daring to say a word.

I threw the knife down, grabbed Julia's hand, and stormed out.

As soon as we stepped outside, a stream of insults followed us.

(2)

I took Julia to a hotel in town, planning to return to my place the next day.

We lay on the bed, leaning against each other, and Julia held me, tears streaming down her face.

"It's my fault for being useless, letting you get bullied," she whispered.

But it was not her fault. Without her, I wouldn't even know where I'd be now.

Back then, when Elsa and Vince found out I was a girl, they wanted to abandon me.

Julia refused and stood at the door, blocking Vince with her post-delivery body until he gave in and let me stay.

Later, when Aunt Amy came back from the neighboring village, Elsa took out the smoked meat she usually couldn't bear to eat.

The meat smelled delicious as it cooked, and I watched from the doorway.

Afraid I'd join them for dinner, Elsa shouted for Julia to take me back home.

Once home, I cried non-stop, demanding to eat meat.

Julia, feeling sorry for me or perhaps angry at Elsa's actions, took out the only piece of smoked meat we had and cooked a bit for me.

When Vince saw the few slices of meat in my bowl, his face darkened immediately.

Julia quickly tried to smooth things over.

"Elsa cooked smoked meat today, and Linsey wanted some, so I made a little for her. She's just a child, growing up."

Hearing this, Vince's face turned even darker.

"If she wants to eat, she should go to Elsa's. That's her real grandma. Wouldn't she give her some? Or is it you who wanted to eat?"

Julia didn't say anything more, but tears welled up in her eyes.

I didn't know if Vince's memory was that bad. In fact, from childhood to now, Elsa never gave me even a piece of meat or a candy.

After that, I never told Julia what I wanted to eat again, afraid Vince would blame her.

(3)

After a few days, I couldn't resist Julia's insistence and had to take her back.

"Oh, our champions have come back, huh?"

Without turning around, I knew who was talking nonsense.

"What's wrong about coming back to our home? Are we eating your food or living in your house? Mind your own business."

I didn't expect Elsa to latch onto my casual remark.

" You ungrateful bitch! Julia ate three of my eggs during her postpartum recovery," she said with a smug look, as if those three eggs were her claim to superiority.

It was shameless for someone her age to act like Julia committed a crime for eating three eggs during her postpartum recovery.

But to prevent her from gossiping in the future, I went to town and bought all the eggs I could find.

I calculated that even if she ate five a day, there'd be enough to last her until she was buried.

If she ever mentioned those three eggs again, I'd force her to eat all the eggs.

After settling everything, I had to return to the city for work.

As I left, I repeatedly reminded Julia, "Julia, I'm leaving. If she causes trouble again, call me, and I'll come deal with her."

Julia nodded, her voice soft. "Don't worry about me. Take care of yourself out there."

(4)

"Linsey, come to the hospital quickly."

Julia's voice trembled over the phone, and I rushed to the hospital without asking more.

I ran as fast as I could, and when I got there, I regretted coming.

Was this a joke?

Elsa had seen a chicken from neighbor's house and tried to catch it. Who would have thought she'd miss and fall off the ridge?

By the time someone found her, she was severely injured and was rushed to the hospital.

I just couldn't understand how someone her age could do such a thing.

"Where's Vince?"

After sorting things out, I realized someone was missing.

"Your dad... he had something to do."

At this point, I was shocked by this family for the second time.

What could be more important than his own mother?

Taking a deep breath to calm myself, I handled the rest of the situation.

(5)

"You're so lucky to have such a filial daughter. Unlike me, I have several children, and none of them come to see me."

The old lady in the next bed said, making the room's atmosphere awkward.

"This is my daughter-in-law. My daughter is too busy to visit. Otherwise, it wouldn't be her turn."

Was it a grievance for Julia to be the one taking care of her?

"Fine, I agree. It's not our turn. Julia, let's go."

Without waiting for Julia to say anything, I pulled her up to leave.

"Julia, are you going to buy food for my mom? Buy more; Jacob and I haven't eaten yet."

Oh, heavens, we hadn't even left the room, and we ran into other jinxes.

And how did she know I was going to buy food?

I was planning to leave, but now I decided to stay and watch the mother-daughter drama.

"Amy, you're here." Elsa looked at her daughter, who came empty-handed, with an indescribable disappointment in her voice.

"Julia, I heard you fell, so I rushed over. I didn't have time to buy anything. I'll get you something next time."

She hurriedly signaled to her son.

"Elsa, when I grow up, I'll buy you lots and lots of things."

Indeed, men made promises they couldn't keep, no matter their age.

A few words made Elsa smile from ear to ear.

"Since Aunt Amy is here, Julia and I will leave and not disturb you."

We'd better not linger here any longer.

"Aren't you going to buy food? What are you waiting for?"

"Buy food? Who told you that? We are leaving."

Seeing that we were really leaving, Amy quickly stood up.

Of course, if we left, who would be left to pay for it?

"Aunt Amy, grandma just said if you hadn't come, it wouldn't be my mom's turn to take care of her. Since you're here, we'll leave this spot to you. If you don't believe me, you can ask the lady in the next bed."

Amy was anxious but couldn't act out with others around.

"You are right. You have been tired these days. You should go home and rest."

Only heaven knew how much it hurt her to say that.

(6)

After leaving the hospital, I took Julia out for a meal. She had suffered enough during her time there.

While chatting happily with Julia, I suddenly noticed a familiar figure. Not only that, but there was also a woman and a child beside him.

"Linsey, what are you looking at?"

After Julia finished speaking, she turned around for a glance, but the person had already left.

"It's nothing, Julia. Let's eat quickly, and then I'll take you out for a stroll."

That person really seemed familiar, or maybe I was mistaken.

After spending a few days with Julia, I mentioned visiting the hospital to see Elsa.

Honestly, sometimes I get quite frustrated with Julia. Why does she always seem to invite stress?

"You just stay home and relax. I'll go visit. If anything's wrong, I'll bring you along. Besides, her daughter is there too. Why worry unnecessarily?"

I whispered the last sentence, making sure Julia didn't hear it.

Before heading to the hospital, I bought some fruit. After all, with others around, we have to keep the basic manner.

Carrying the fruit, I made my way to the hospital.

As soon as I entered, I was stunned by the scene in the ward.

Toys were scattered everywhere-on the table, on the floor.

I didn't expect that Elsa knew how to spoil a kid; she used to complain about having no money, yet now she was spending her pension on toys for her grandson.

"Linsey, you're here! Why didn't you tell me in advance? Where's Julia?"

Her tone was filled with joy, as if she was certain I was here to take over her duties.

Unfortunately, she was mistaken.

"Julia's at home. I just came to check in. If there's nothing wrong, I'll be on my way."

As I spoke, an unpleasant odor hit me, emanating from both the fruit and a person.

I glanced at the old lady, wrinkling my nose in distaste.

"Linsey, why not have your mom come and help out? You see, she's just idle."

Ha, she'd be overwhelmed after just a few days of care.

"Aunt Amy, you know since you got married, you've rarely visited. Grandma misses you. You should take this chance to spend time together."

Given the circumstances, she couldn't argue further.

"Linsey, how about this? You take Jacob to stay at your place. It's not good for a child to be in the hospital often."

I glanced at the kid pouting in the corner, looking miserable, and felt a shiver run down my spine. Bringing this brat home? My house would be ruined.

"Amy, sorry, but my place is too small to accommodate him."

"Hmph, too small? What a terrible excuse. Fine, Jacob doesn't want to go anyway. If he gets hurt, who's responsible?"

Elsa, who had been pretending to sleep, couldn't hold back when her eldest grandson was mentioned.

"Auntie, see? Grandma said it too-who's responsible if he gets hurt? I have to go; I have other things to attend to."

I really had to thank Elsa this time. Without her, I wouldn't have been able to leave so quickly.

Feeling relieved after leaving the hospital, I decided to take advantage of the time to wander around.

(7)

"Vince, can you buy me this toy?"

A child's innocent voice reached my ears, but I didn't pay much attention.

"Sure, Jeff, whatever you want, Vince will buy it for you."

That familiar voice sent a shiver down my spine.

Wasn't that my dad, the one with all the issues?

How was he here?

And why was that little boy calling him Vince?

After calming down, I understood.

Vince had cheated and even had a son.

Watching my dad's face full of smiles, I felt a deep sadness.

How I once wished he would smile at me.

But he never did, not even once. All I ever saw was his stern face.

Before I knew it, tears were streaming down my face.

I couldn't understand- what had I done wrong to make him treat me this way all these years?

For a moment, I even considered pretending I hadn't seen anything, that nothing had happened.

But thinking of Julia's decades of hard work, I couldn't do it.

After composing myself, I quietly followed them.

Their family of three seemed so happy, as if Julia and I were the ones who should hide in the shadows.

I watched the woman, her face radiant, wearing a bracelet on her wrist.

Seeing that bracelet felt like a stab to my heart.

I remembered Julia once saying she wanted to buy a bracelet, but Vince not only refused to buy it but accused her of wanting to dress up to find a lover.

And now? What a jerk!

Their happiness was too much to bear. Unable to bear it, I recorded a video and returned to the hospital. I wanted to see if my suspicions were correct.

(8)

Amy thought I was back to take care of Elsa and stood up happily, but I interrupted before she could speak.

"Where's my dad?"

Elsa clearly didn't expect me to ask that and was stunned into silence.

"Where's my dad?" I repeated, raising my voice and sounding even harsher.

"Your dad... he's busy, working."

Elsa's voice was clearly guilty, her head lowered.

Busy, busy accompanying his mistress and son, perhaps.

"Elsa, no matter how busy, he should care for you. I'll call him to come back."

"No, no, I'm feeling much better now. No need to trouble him."

Alright, I already knew. Elsa was fully aware of Vince's affair and even condoned it.

For the sake of her eldest grandson, she allowed Vince to stay with them, enduring her own suffering.

From start to finish, Elsa never considered Julia and me as family.

Since that was the case, I would no longer hold anything back.

(9)

Honestly, I didn't know how to tell Julia about this, but I couldn't bear to keep her in the dark.

"Linsey, is something wrong? You seem so down since you got back."

I squeezed my hand, gathered my courage, and showed her the video.

After watching, Julia was silent for a long time.

"Julia..."

Before I could finish, I choked up.

Julia wiped my tears and hugged me. Her voice was calm.

"Linsey, I want to divorce your dad. After all these years, I've done my best for him."

Honestly, I didn't expect Julia to be so decisive.

But since she said it, what reason did I have to hesitate?

If they were divorcing, we needed to divide the assets properly.

Julia worked hard for so many years, serving their family like a maid. We can't let them take advantage.

Julia and I calculated our family's assets.

We have a house in the county, under both Vince's and Julia's names.

The savings weren't much, just two or three thousand dollars.

So, our plan was to transfer the house to my name and leave the savings.

Initially, I wanted Vince to leave with nothing, but Julia said after so many years of marriage, we should leave each other some dignity.

"Linsey, if everything's settled, I'll head to my room." Her voice carried an indescribable loneliness.

But I didn't know how to comfort her. All I could do now was reclaim what's rightfully Julia's.

(10)

After that day, I never went back to the hospital. I heard about Elsa's discharge from Amy's phone call.

Of course, the call wasn't just about Elsa's discharge; it was mostly to criticize Julia for not taking care of Elsa and me for not bringing anything over.

They've gotten used to treating us like fools.

During these days, I wasn't idle. I secretly followed Vince and them, partly to gather more evidence of his affair and partly out of curiosity about whether the boy was really his.

Maybe I've watched too many melodramatic TV shows.

When the boy went alone to buy ice cream, I secretly took a strand of his hair. But later, I realized I needed Vince's hair too.

So, I put this matter aside for now.

"Go back home right now!"

Vince, who hadn't contacted me in ages, suddenly sent a message.

It couldn't be anything good, but it was a chance to get his hair, so I went back.

"Linsey, now you've become independent. Your grandma was in the hospital. Instead of visiting her, you and your mom are hanging around when my mom needs you the most. Shame on you!"

So, now he came to accuse us.