I'm holding the small white pregnancy test in my left hand now and it's hidden behind my back. It's my boyfriend James and I's 5th Anniversary, and because of the result of our having sex every day, it paid off. At first I didn't expect it and I was even surprised. Because all my life I thought that only women could carry a human, but I was very surprised when I went to check up and complained why I always felt nauseous and vomited because I was 3 weeks pregnant. Then when the cake was ready, it was engraved on the top and said 'Happy 5th Anniversary dear', I planned to surprise James. I always do it so maybe I'm used to it. James will definitely be surprised when he finds out that he is going to be a father, this surprise is great I know he will be surprised and he will be happy. While lighting the candle, I looked at the clock attached to the wall, probably James will be home soon. As I counted down in my mind, I was surprised when the door opened and what came out was a man and a woman kissing, both of their hands holding the sensitive parts of their bodies. I didn't notice the wine bottle dropping on the floor causing it to make a loud noise. The two stopped what they were doing and looked at me. I can see the shock in James' eyes. The woman, whom I recognize as a good friend, is also confused. Because of the pain I feel in my heart, he didn't notice the blood dripping from my leg. "Archi, what are you doing here?" James came to me and kissed my cheek. He stopped for a moment when I stepped back and extinguished the candle coming from the cake, they both looked at what I did. "Did I surprise you two?" I calmly approached Jeremiah, my best friend who happens to be a snake. "Archi" Jeremiah said with a smile. He was about to say something when he suddenly threw the cake in his face. "Your face is thick, Jeremiah, after I trusted you, this is what you will repay me for?!" shouted and slapped his face covered with cake icing. "Archi I'm hurting!" "You must be hurt!!!" "Archi, that's right, it's my fault" James said to me, he was holding my hand but I immediately took it back from him and I slapped him too. "Let me explain Archi" Jeremiah said crying as he wiped his face "James loves me and not you!" he shouted. Well, you still have the right to yell at me. "I don't believe you, you snake!" I was about to punch him when James held me tightly. "True, why don't you ask your jowa who is good?!" Jeremiah shouted back at me. I looked at James, he avoided looking at me. It hurts, but I need to know the truth. "Really, isn't it James?" I'm tired from crying. He didn't say a word. "Why don't you just tell the truth James so that all this is over, so that we can both be happy!" Jeremiah said angrily. "Is it true?" me again "Is it true that Jeremiah is the one you love James?, Answer me, is it true?!" It nodded. I do not know what to do. My knees are shaking. I had to tell James everything so he wouldn't leave me. I can't live without him. "I'm pregnant James, even if it's just our child" I begged. I saw the shock in both of their eyes. James shook his head, as if I was just lying. I showed the pregnancy test I was holding that I had been hiding for a while. They couldn't believe it. "even to the future child---" I stopped begging when I saw and felt the red blood running down my thigh. I held my mouth "oh my god!!" I said nicking, not knowing what to do. I saw James approaching me and picked me up, he also yelled "Call an ambulance Jeremiah!!!!" it shouted. Before I even felt the pain, I slowly closed my eyes and passed out.
Chapter 1 My tears
Chapter 1
I just woke up when the light hit my eyes coming from the ceiling, the walls were white.
I could look at the man sitting bent over and holding my hand, what clothes he was wearing the night he destroyed me, he was still wearing the same clothes.
I was already wearing a blue hospital dress and there was a white sting on my hand, I was weak because I could feel the pain of what happened that night.
I held my stomach.
Those memories were still fresh, the sliding of the crimson liquid down my thigh.
I panicked immediately.
I moved around looking for the doctor.
"Where's the doctor?" I shouted
"Doc!!!" me again
What happened to the baby in my belly?
I need to know that he is still alive.
James raised his head and quickly stood up, and sat me down.
"Relax Dear, you need more strength" he said worriedly and hugged me.
But no matter what he does, I'm still confused, I want to know if my son is okay, if my stomach is still normal.
"James is our son" I said weakly and let the tears fall.
"Calm down" he said calmly while still hugging me "Everything will be okay, okay?" he continued, I couldn't do anything but nod my head.
"How is my son?" I asked puzzled.
He is sitting on the sofa now and just looking at me.
"James?, how is he?" I repeated "Is he okay or is it normal?" I even faked a laugh to lighten my heart.
James shook his head.
"Why are you shaking your head?, Answer me James!" I started panicking.
I saw James' tears falling on the floor and bowed, I didn't know what to do.
"J--james what do you mean, I don't understand you!" I shouted because he didn't know what my reaction would be
he's gone" his voice cracked but he managed to speak clearly.
I was shot in the heart when I heard that.
My tears flowed, until my crying turned into sobs, James came to me and called the nurses.
"Sorry Archi, it's all my fault" she cried, she was about to hug me but I pushed her away from me.
If only he hadn't cheated, this wouldn't have happened.
If he had been responsible and a good partner to me, our son would not have died.
I looked at him painfully.
"Yes, it's your fault, you should be the one to blame for this" even though I was in tears, I said those things completely.
"I--I'm so sorry"
"SORRY?, James, what do you think you can do when you're sorry? Will that bring my son back?" I pointed at him "Are you doing this to me?" I bowed and let the tears fall on the bedsheet.
"You know, James, of all the people who can hurt me, you are the one I didn't expect to hurt and destroy me with a rock" I washed my face.
I heard the door open and the nurses came out, they were going to come to me but I stopped them.
"It's painful, James, just for that girl you were able to hurt someone like me, that's how our two children will be" I hiccuped and said "maybe this pain is right"
"Please Archi don't do this, we will both fight"
"Surely this is where James and Archi's story ends, that you promise you won't hurt me and that you will love me and not bore me" I defended, the nurses still didn't know what to do and just listened to our conversation.
"Don't do that to me Archi, dear dear "
I objected to what he had to say because I didn't want to hear that lie.
"Let's break up"
"You can go out tomorrow sir" I looked at the female nurse who was fixing and looking carefully at the white tube that was stuck in the vein of my hand.
"Can't it be done now?" he glanced at my question.
It shook its head.
After I broke up with James, he also sent her away and told her not to see me anymore because I don't want to see her ever again.
Jeremiah also visited, but he only heard cursing and cursing coming out of my mouth.
"Don't let anyone come in here to visit my room, don't let anyone in," I threatened the nurse.
The nurse just nodded after she wrote the result of her blood pressure on the small card she was holding.
I shook my head when I looked at my stomach, I had only been with my son for a few weeks inside that stomach, but I was still deprived.
I blame no one but the man who did this to me.
And my girl best friend.
They have no shame.
Why don't you give if you're going to get it?
That's the question in my mind, that's why I still can't sleep. It's twelve o'clock in the morning and all I did was cry and cry.
Maybe it's just now, because the day will come when I too will receive everything. I tried to blink until I fell asleep.
The next day, I also went to bed early to take care of the pepeles so I could go out.
After I took care of everything and got my things ready, I was about to leave the hospital when I saw a man leaning against the wall with his eyes closed.
I let out a breath and quickly walked past it, but I had only taken a few steps when it grabbed my wrist, stopping me.
I didn't turn to him, because he seemed to stab me again and again every time I saw his face.
"Archi, can we talk please?" he begged.
"Archi, can we talk please?" he begged.
I didn't answer, because I felt anger in my body.
"Please, don't worry, I'll do everything for you to come back to me" he said and forced me to face him.
I can see her puffy eyes, maybe she was crying last night because she felt guilty, because she was the reason why our two children disappeared.
"there's nothing we should talk about James" I stammered because I couldn't face him yet.
"Please, let's start again" he shook my shoulder, his eyes were red.
I swallowed.
This is not the time for me to feel sorry, he didn't feel sorry when he cheated on me. And if I feel sorry for him again, he will do it again and again.
A cheater will be a cheater.
"That's right James, if we push the two of us, we will both be hurt, t-that's right please" my tears began to fall.
He closed his eyes.
"Let's insist, I will cook breakfast until dinner, I will also wash the food and I will clean the whole house, and do the laundry, is that okay?" he swallowed as much as he said.
I shook my head.
"please, I will do everything for you to forgive me, even if I kneel now, please don't leave me" she begged, she was about to kneel but I stopped her.
My tears continue to fall.
"I hope you thought of that before you fooled me James, I hope you thought of that before you hurt me and traded me for that girl" I removed his grip on my shoulder.
"Please,,, give me a second chance "
"For what, trick and gag me again?!" I shouted and pushed him.
He shook his head and his tears fell on the floor.
"No--"
"Stop James!, you know of all the mistakes I've made in my life, the biggest mistake I've made and I won't repeat it is loving you" it stopped coming to me.
He caressed his face.
"So whatever is on your mind right now, don't force it because I won't change my mind, let's stop this madness" I continued and continued walking.
"Please!!!, Archi, I can't lose you in my life" he shouted causing me to stop walking.
I stopped but didn't look at him.
"And if you disappear from my life, what is the point of this life?" It was already broken due to her screaming and crying.
There are others who are stopped walking and questioned about what is happening.
"Sorry James learn to live without me, You broke fragile glass inside me" I said and continued walking.
With every step I take, tears fall in my eyes just as fast.
I could still hear James yelling, but he didn't look at him.
I'm so sorry James.
I don't want to hurt you.
But I don't want to hurt myself either.
I'm sorry because right now I'm putting myself first.
Holding a large luggage containing my belongings.
I was fixing it a while ago when I got home to the condo where James and I were staying, I was so thankful that when I got here he wasn't there.
I put everything that can fit in the big bag there, even our frames when we graduated from college.
My memories are fresh when we graduated from college together. I'm their valedictorian but I can't seem to get any decent work.
Because of James, he forced me to stop working and stay in the condo that he pays for. Because James wants me to be here at home and he will work so that we can have something to eat every day.
He trained me so much, so now that he's gone, maybe I'll learn without him.
Now he's gone, how can I live?
How can I cope without him?
How can I face this cruel world alone?
I looked at the clock that plastered on the wall, I've been organizing the things I'm going to take to a place I don't even know for a few hours.
Maybe I need to speed up my movement so that James doesn't catch me.
After I did everything I had to do, he picked up the two big bags and left the room.
And I almost fell from where I was standing when I saw a familiar person leaning against the wall near the kitchen.
It just looked at me.
The eyes were red, I didn't know what reaction I would have when he slowly bent down and spoke.
"are you sure?" he said softly.
Yes.
That's what I wanted to say, but no matter what I did, I couldn't open my mouth.
He washed his palm over his face, causing me to unexpectedly see the scratch and blood on his fist.
He was punching the wall so his hand was injured.
I took a deep breath and walked towards the main door, but I almost fainted when I felt James hug me from behind, and he buried his face in my shoulder and cried softly.
I let go of the two bags I was holding, my hands and knees shaking.
If I could only teach the heart to love again, I would choose you James.
But I'm tired, I'm fed up.
"J-james---" I stopped as he hugged me tighter, his sobbing got louder.
"Don't leave me, Archi, I'm begging you"
I could feel a slight reading on my shoulder, I last saw James cry when we almost broke up again, because of his cheating. Now he repeated it again.
I'm hurt but here I am and I feel like I want to forgive someone like James again.
But, he couldn't change my mind no matter what persuasion he said. I don't want to!
"James enough, I don't want anymore, I don't want to love anymore ---"
What I wanted to say was cut off when I heard his very weak whisper, even though I could faintly feel what he was going through.
"I have cancer"
to Be Continued...
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