kensuson
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Yesterday's Loved
Romance "I can't stay still, walking back and forth. If only someone was with me now, I know their eyes would hurt watching me. I've been waiting for him since earlier, but he took so long to come.
Feeling tired, I sat on the couch, but I stood up immediately as the front door opened, and he walked in. He's finally home.
"Where have you been?" I asked my husband as he arrived late. Yes, I've been waiting for him.
It's already 2:03 in the morning, and he just decided to come home now. Nothing new in his actions. I even get home earlier than him – from work, while he comes from his school.
No emotion showed on his face, and he just continued walking without responding to me.
"Lazel Hyrroz," I sternly uttered his name. I followed him into his room.
He unbuttoned his uniform after casually dropping his backpack on the bed.
"I'm tired. Don't bother me now," he said coldly, avoiding eye contact.
"That's why I'm asking why you're only coming home now and where you've been at this hour," I questioned him firmly.
He took off his white polo, leaving only his undershirt.
"You know? You have a lot of roles in my life," he sarcastically remarked, facing me. His face remained emotionless, and the way he looked at me seemed indifferent. "You're not just a mother, sister, or brother. Now, your role is a strict father who waited for his son who didn't come home last night but decided to show up now," he added, grinning.
"You've grown up, Lazel Hyrroz. Even if you're no longer under your parents' care, remember that there's still someone who cares about you," I stated.
"You? Do you care about me? I'm just your husband on paper, and I never asked you to worry about me. I told you from the beginning not to interfere, and I'll do the same to you," he said sternly. That's just how he is – hard-hearted and indifferent to me or my feelings.
"Lazel Hyrroz..."
"If you have nothing else to say, leave, Lola," he insultingly called me Lola this time. I sighed, acknowledging his disrespectful behavior. I turned away as he removed his white undershirt. "You've seen my body. So, why are you still avoiding me? I know you liked what we did last night, didn't you? You took advantage of me while I was drunk," he insinuated, and those words felt like a slap.
My chest tightened violently. "Before you sleep, take a bath or wash your body. If you haven't eaten, just heat the food that I cooked earlier," I said, hearing his mocking laugh and the creaking of the bed as a sign that he sat down.
"Yes, Manang," he said mockingly, using another insult this time. I closed his room door gently, pausing for a moment before leaning against it. Tears threatened to spill, weighing heavily on my chest. Is this the reason he came home so late? Because in over a year, something happened between us only once? We were both drunk, and I can't remember anything about that night.
I questioned myself. How long will we be like this, Lazel Hyrroz?
***
When I wake up every morning, my uniform is neatly prepared on the sofa bed, and my black shoes are polished.
In the kitchen, there's food ready, with a sticky note on the fridge. I took it and read the neat handwriting. Despite that, I still dislike it.
"Don't forget to eat your breakfast before you go to school, Lazel Hyrroz."
-Calysta
After reading it, I crumpled the paper and threw it in the trash bin. I opened the fridge, grabbed a cold water bottle, and finished its contents.
I glanced at the prepared breakfast on the table, but as usual, I left it untouched. I entered the university with an empty stomach, but it's okay; Hanemira usually shares her food with me. That's where I usually have my breakfast.
"You didn't have breakfast again, huh?" I just smiled at her question and slowly smiled. Simultaneously, she held my hand, handing me a spoon. She also had my lunch box. "I still cooked it." Her cooking wasn't the best, but I appreciated it because she's the girl I like.
***
When I got home, I expected to find her in the living room, busy with her laptop, drinking coffee.
"You didn't eat your breakfast again. You didn't even touch them," she greeted me. I raised the corner of my lips. I've memorized those words since she always says them to me.
"Who told you to cook my breakfast?" I asked, hearing her sigh again.
Honestly, I don't feel anything for her. I don't like her, and I will never love a woman ten years older than me.
We only got married because she's wealthier than my family, and our company needed her. That's the only reason I endure living in this cramped house. That's what I feel.
I ignored her and went upstairs, but before that, I stopped to ask her about this. "For you, what is love?"
She furrowed her brows, confused by my question. "Why are you asking me that?" she asked back.
"I just want to know your opinion. What does love mean to you?" I asked, genuinely interested in her perspective on love.
"Love ruins a person's life." I raised an eyebrow at her statement. How does it r Instrumental love
Romance I was holding my heart when I felt the pain again. My breathing increased because I thought I was going to run out of air in my chest.
"Engineer Mergus, Ms. is feeling really bad. Ann," I heard my secretary say from outside my room. Is he here again?
"Where is she? I want to talk to her.”
I slowly got up and leaned on the headboard of my bed. I closed my eyes tightly because my stomach hurt more. I took a deep breath and wiped the sweat from my forehead, I was still sweating even though it was cold inside.
"Engineer Mergus..." The door opened loudly and I just waited for him to enter.
"May Ann..." he uttered my name emphatically and I looked up at him.
"What are you doing here?" I asked him coldly.
Instead of answering me, he asked me, "How much do you hate your brother?"
"What do you mean?"
"Your sister is in the hospital and she needs a donor. You know your sister is sick and she was rushed to the hospital but you still stay here as if nothing happened? You are so angry with your sister and you didn't even go to see her?!” he shouted at me. I only felt worse because of the way he showed my anger.
"Engineer Mergus..." I signaled Ruthy to go out first. He hesitated because he knew my situation. He did nothing but follow me.
"Go to the hospital right now and save your sister, May Ann!" he shouted at me again. My jaw dropped. He is forcing me to go to the hospital just to save the girl he loves? And my brother?
Even though I am hurt by what he showed me today, I will not follow him and I will not go to the hospital just to be a donor for my younger brother.
"I don't want to," I said emphatically and his jaw tightened. He stepped closer to me and I bravely met his cold eyes.
"What do you want? Do I still have to kneel in front of you just, so you can come with me to the hospital now and save Arveliah?” he asked.
I wanted to smile at what he said. Is he really ready to kneel to me so that I agree to what he wants?
“I am only human, Engineer Mergus. I'm not God so I can save my brother," I said without emotion.
"It's just you... Your brother's only hope is you. Only you can save him. Your blood is compatible so you can also be his bone marrow donor... Help him... Put aside your jealousy and anger towards him... I'm the one begging you..." he pleaded and he did what he wanted to happen.
Without a doubt he knelt down in front of me so I felt a pain in my chest. They are right, you will do anything even if your pride is stepped on. You don't care as long as the issue is the safety of the person you love.
But even if I love him... Even if I love Mergus, I will not follow him. I will not give him what he wants.
"No. I'm not mad at my sister and that's not the reason,” I said weakly and held my womb.
"May Ann..."
"I can be his donor because once... I donated blood to him once when we were young but... But I can't help him right now. I'm sorry..." I said and avoided looking at him.
"That's how you are... what a selfish person... You're a liar, that your anger is not the reason why you don't want to save Arveliah. You want her gone... You want her to never...get better... It's because of me, isn't it?” he asked me mockingly and I looked back at him.
"No. No one wants to lose their only sister, Engineer. But now...I can't help her. You will not be blessed by me," I promised and he stood up from his kneeling position.
"Save Arveliah... That's what I'm asking you... I'll do... I'll do everything you want... If it's my heart in exchange, I'll give it..."
"I thought too... I thought I got that from you. But I was wrong. If it's not really for me, if it's not meant for me, just don't. We'll still suffer in the end and be hurt more... We can't force something that's not for me, that wasn't given to the two of us...”
I thought I had won his heart because I could feel his gradual fall. It started with him taking care of me and appreciating me but... I only experienced that temporarily.
"Of all the people in this world... You... you are the only one I know who is so selfish and doesn't care about people, even if they are close to you. You..." It's okay to be selfish, because of the two most important people to me, I'll choose the one who I know won't leave me in the end. That I know...he can love me as much as I love him.
I will not sacrifice him just because the man I love and my brother want. I will stand up for my selfishness.
"I'll ask you, Engineer... If two people... both are important to you... You would choose one of them, similar to our situation... Who would you choose? The first person you loved, appreciated and gave color to your dark world or the second person that you yourself are the reason why he came to this world and gave him life?" I asked him meaningfully which stopped him. He couldn't speak immediately and just crossed his eyebrows.
I thought he wasn't going to answer anymore but...what he answered hurt my heart so much.
"The person I first met and appreciated is still heavier, abandoned wife
Romance "When will I be back, Jov? Govan and I are already at the airport. Why... Why did you change your mind? Do you want to leave me here?" I asked my husband from the other line.
I looked at our son whom I am carrying now. This is the day I've been waiting for. The day we'll return to the Philippines, and I've tried convincing Joavani several times to bring us back.
I was so happy when he told me that. That we can finally go home with our child. But he called because he wanted... Only Govan, only Govan to go back, not me.
"Just follow what I said, Gotchelle... Govan will come home first. Don't worry, I'll still set a schedule for when you'll come back," he said, and I let out a sigh.
"I've waited for this day for months, Jov..." I said, and tears welled up immediately. My chest tightened, and it felt hard to breathe.
"Please... When I choose a day to bring you home, I'll be the one to pick you up, Gotchelle..."
"Why are you doing this to me, Joavani? I thought... I thought everything was over for you? After you... had our child undergo a DNA test and found out that you... you're really his Dad and not someone else--"
"We're only talking now, Gotchelle. So don't let us fight because of that. Yes, all that is no longer with me. I understand, and I know the truth. Just please, follow me," he pleaded. I sighed again and caressed my son's face.
"Don't you wonder, Joavani? Why I only sent you the DNA test results of our child? Why until now you still don't know what Govan looks like?" I asked with a smile, and tears started to fall. My chest tightened, and I felt the pain.
"Gotchelle..."
"He's just like you, exactly like you, Joavani. No doubt... he's your son. That's why I didn't send you his photos because I want... I want you to meet him as your son without any doubts... Jov... Okay, I'll follow what you said. Just... just take good care of our child while... while I'm not here, okay? I love him so much, Jov. I love our child so much," I said and kissed Govan's head wholeheartedly before handing him over to his babysitter.
"Gotchelle?"
"When they arrive, call me immediately, Joavani. Go on..." I said and ended the call.
"Ma'am, are you sure you won't come with us?" my son's babysitter asked with concern. I shook my head.
"I hurt my husband so much before, and I didn't appreciate him just because... I wanted someone else. But he's not hard to love, so I'll follow what he wants. His orders for me. Just please, take care of my child, okay?" I said, and she nodded.
Govan extended his hand as if he didn't want me to go, and when I held it, he gripped it tightly.
"Mam-ma..."
"See you when I see you, my son. Mommy loves you, always," I said with teary eyes as they started walking away, and it felt like a heavy stone was pressing on my chest.
My tears fell like rain due to the continuous dripping. I waved to him even though he tried to look away and was already crying.
This is what Joavani wants, what my husband wants, so I'll follow. I still hope that someday I'll leave this country, but it didn't happen.
Because when he called me and said he would pick me up, I refused.
How will I go back home? How will I face him when... I'm useless? Because when I was about to go home from the airport, I didn't expect that an accident was waiting for me, causing me to become disabled.
I can't walk anymore, so if I go home to my family, I'll just be a burden to them. So, I chose to stay here... for several years. Yes, it lasted that long.
I often tell Joavani that I'll come home next month, but it just passes without me fulfilling it. Because I deliberately avoid continuing...
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Viviene Trigger/Content Warning:
This story contains mature themes and explicit content intended for adult audiences(18+). Reader discretion is advised.
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*****
"Take off your dress, Meadow."
"Why?"
"Because your ex is watching," he said, leaning back into his seat. "And I want him to see what he lost."
••••*••••*••••*
Meadow Russell was supposed to get married to the love of her life in Vegas. Instead, she walked in on her twin sister riding her fiance.
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Until Meadow touches him, and he feels everything. And now he owns her. On paper and in his bed.
She wants him to ruin her. Take what no one else could have. He wants control, obedience... revenge.
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