Trials of Heart

It was almost dawn. I’m trying my best not to get drunk while I’m holding the bottle of liquor. My attention is on the band performing in front of the stage. The vocalist sang my favorite song that caught up my attention.

I’m at the Lacoona Bar where I can find peace and where pain can be soothed even just for seconds.

“Xyler?! Where the fuck are you?”

My phone kept on ringing as I grabbed it from my pocket. Cassandra speaks on the phone, obviously mad at me again. I’m used to it. It’s good that I can't hear her voice clearly as the loud music coming from the stage's speakers, drums, and microphone filled every corner of the bar.

“What? I can’t hear you. Is there something urgent?” I answered, yelling on the phone as the loud music invaded my ear. She is still talking madly so I automatically hang up the call.

Despite my dizziness, I managed to message Louisa, my close friend from college, whom I always contact whenever I’m good or lost. I feel like I need to talk to her. I just want someone to listen to my rants tonight, not a lady who would just nag me for not coming home.

“Join with me” I texted. After a few minutes of waiting for a reply, I received nothing. Maybe she’s already sleeping at this moment. It's not a good idea to wake her up this late at night.

While waiting for something to happen, I didn’t notice that people were gradually exiting the bar. I and the rest of the performers were still inside. They are about to leave so I decided to head now to the parking lot.

I don’t intend to return home at this time. My vision is spinning and I can’t drive myself alone. I guess it would be better to stay here inside the car while waiting for the sun to rise. It is approximately 4 am in the morning.

I’m sure Cassandra would kill me because she is demanding as she carries our baby in her womb. The pregnant lady is kind of manipulating me and to be honest, I don’t like it. I had no choice but to spend the night inside my car. Alone. And random thoughts lingered inside my head. I’m still sane and I know it. But I would prefer to waste my time alone. At least I had time to reminisce and talk to myself.

The sun has risen. Still, my eyes are wide open due to a lot of uncontrollable thoughts that kept on bugging me off. I was staring at the street lights through the car window. Some fast-food restaurants, coffee shops, and gyms are starting to open. People at this early morning have their job while I have no plans to move in my position. It was as if I wanted to stick myself here inside. My days keep on repeating and only the morning wakes me up in reality. That's why I prefer the moon over the sun. Unfortunately, I have no chance to escape from the responsibilities and agreement with Cassandra's family. To be a father soon of my child while my life is completely a mess.

“Hey! Xy?” The young lady called my name from afar. However, I couldn't recognize her. Maybe it was the effect of being drunk and not getting enough sleep.

She came close to my car window and handed me a cup of coffee and bread. I noticed that she was wearing gym clothes, probably for a workout.

“How did you find out I was here?” I asked in confusion.

“Your car?” Louisa answered in uncertainty. Her lips curved a smile, laughing at my situation right now like she always does.

I grinned. There's no way to ask her as she always knows my destination regardless of where I am located myself.

"Is that for me?" I looked at the coffee she brought. I admitted I'm craving some breakfast this morning.

"Nope. Only if you refused not to take these." She offered. I took the coffee and bread from her hand.