The History of Henry Esmond, Esq., a Colonel in the Service of Her Majesty Queen Anne

on of Love? There is a humiliating cure, but one that is easy and almost specific for the malady-which is, to try an alibi. Esmond

he was with her; but as soon as he returned he was as bad as ever again. Truly a ludicrous and pitiable object, at least exhausting everybody's pity but his

ome rich young gentleman newly arrived in the town, that this incorrigible flirt would set her nets and baits to draw in. If Esmond remonstrated, the little rebel would say-"Who are you? I shall go my own way, sirrah, and that way is towards a husband, and I don't want YOU on the way. I am for your betters, Colonel, for your betters: do you hear that? You might do if you had an estate and were younger; only eight years older than I, you say! pish, you are a hundred years older. You are an old, old Graveairs, and I should make you miserable, that wo

ur worldliness, my poor

's upper servant, and perhaps marry Tom Tusher? Merci! I have been long enough Frank's humble servant. Why am I not a man? I have ten times his brains, and had I worn the-well, don't let your ladyship be frightened-had I worn a sword and periwig instead of this mantle and commode to which nature has condemned me-(though 'tis a pretty stuff, too-Cousin Esmond! you will go to the Exchange to-morrow, and get the exact counterpart of this ribbon, sir; do you hear?)-I would have mad

stag, and I think I could shoot flying. I can talk as wicked as any woman of my years, and know enough stories to amuse a sulky husband for at least one thousand and one nights. I have a pretty taste for dress, diamonds, gambling, and old China. I love sugar-plums, Malines lace (

rd Peterborrow gave her, with a bird of Paradise in hi

ting the child. "And if husband no

up to her mother and ended her sally of mischief in her common way, with a

was kept to diet drink and gruel. These gentlemen were Whigs, and great admirers of my Lord Duke of Marlborough; and Esmond was entirely of the other party. But their different views of politics did not prevent the gentlemen from agreeing in private, nor from allowing, on one evening when Esmond's kind old patron, Lieutenant-General Webb, with a stick and a crutch, hobbled up to the Colonel's lodging (which was pre

eele, who had more of that kind of sentiment than Mr. Addison, admired it, whilst the other rather sneered at the performance; though he owned that, here and there, it contained some pretty strokes. He was bringing out his own play of "Cato" at the time, the blaze of which quite extinguished Esmond's farth

iring her. In the fifth act, Teraminta was made to discover the merits of Eugenio (the F. F.), and to feel a partiality for him too late; for he announced that he had bestowed his hand and estate upon Rosaria, a country lass, endowed with every virtue. But it must be owned that the audience yawned through the play; and t

hen smarting under the faithlessness of women, he dashed off a copy of verses, in which he held the whole sex up to scorn. One day, in one of these moods, he made a little joke, in which (swearing him

ECT

Tuesday, Ap

de te Fabula n

rain of the fa

bridge or the Bath, a retinue of adorers rides the journey with her; and besides the London beaux, she has a crowd of admirers at the Wells, the polite amongst the natives of Sussex and Somerset pressing round her tea-tables, and being anxious for a nod from her cha

e in Spring Garden should be open to him. Charming as he was, and without any manner of doubt a pretty fellow, Jocasta hath such a regiment of the like continually marching round her standard, that 'tis no wonder her attention is distracted amongst them. And so, though this gentleman made a considerable impression upon her,

ing the sermon-though from under his fringed eyelids it was evident he was casting glances of respectful rapture towards Jocasta-deeply moved and interested her. On coming out of church, he found his way to her chair, and made her an elegant bow as she step

piece: and having the happiness to meet him once more in the lobby of the playhouse, she went up to him in a flu

red round the charming Jocasta, fellows who pretended to know every face upon the town, not one could tell the gentleman's name in r

are come at last. I have been pining for you:' and then she finishes her victim with a killing look, which declares: 'O Philander! I have no eyes but for you.' Cami

your looks.' She would have said 'Epsom,' or 'Tunbridge,' had she remembered

days; and one of his reasons for coming hither was

rs had agreed with h

yman read the service on Sunday,' he added, 'your ladyship reminded me of the angel that visited the pool.' A murmur of appro

sdas? She was puzzled more and more; and, as her way always is, look

hould we say goold and write gold, and call china chayney, and Cavendish Candish, and Cho

he, 'is mistress of all sorts of spells.' Bu

length; for this sprightly conversation had lasted much longer than is

E Y.' And laying down his dish, my gentleman ma

our Queen. Can you help us, Mr. Spectator, who know everything, to read this riddle for her, and set at rest all our minds? We find in her list, Mr. Berty, Mr. Smith, Mr. Pike, Mr. Tyler-who may be Mr. Bertie, Mr. Sm

COFFEE-HOUS

I have had a university education, and passed some years serving my country a

for some young lady who would share with me the solitude of my great Kentish house, and be kind to my tenantry (for whom a woman can do a great deal more good than the best-intentioned man can),

f the company at the Wells, and from narrowly watching one, who I once thought of asking the most sacred question a man can put to a woman, that I became aware how unfit she was to be a country gentleman's wife; and that this fair creature was but a heartless worldly jilt, playing with affections that she never meant to r

nd ogled and eyed me in a manner so indecent, that I was obliged to shut my eyes, so as actually not to see her, and whenever I opened them beheld hers (and very bright they are) still staring at me. I fell in with her aft

ozen of card tables, and a crowd of wits and admirers. I made the best bow I could, and advanced towards her; and saw

I replied with as ridiculous fulsome compliments as I could pay her: indeed, one in which I compared her to an angel visiting the sick wells, went a little t

rning on my heel, 'I spell it with a Y.' And so I left her, wondering at the light-heartedness of the town-peopl

N WYL

UPSILON. But if the lady, whom I have called Saccharissa, wonders that I appea

smond this little story of having met a gentleman somewhere, and forgetting his name, when the gentleman, with no such malicious intentions as those of "Cymon"

mous journals were printed, and which was laid on the table at breakfast in place of the real newspaper. Mistress Jocasta, who had plenty of wit, could not live without her Spectator to her tea; and this sham Sp

er him as a very wise old gentleman; yet not near all has been told concerning this matter, which, if it were allowed to take in Esmond's journal the space it occupied in his time, would weary h

ouch her, so as to be better inclined towards me?" He could no more help this passionate fidelity of temper than he could help the eyes he saw with-one or the other seemed a part of his nature; and knowing every one of her faults as well as the keenest of her detractors, and the folly of an attachment to such a woman, of which the fruition could never bring him happiness for above a week, there was yet a charm about this Circe from which the poor deluded gentleman could not free himself; and for a much longer period than Ulysses (another middle-aged officer, who had travelled much, and been in the foreign wars,) Esmond felt himself enthralled and besotted by the wiles of this enchantress. Quit her! He co

s daughter would have uttered or heard. When in waiting at Windsor or Hampton, the Court ladies and gentlemen would be making riding parties together; Mrs. Beatrix in a horseman's coat and hat, the foremost after the stag-hounds and over the park fences, a crowd of young fellows at her heels. If the English country ladies at this time were the most pure and modest of any ladies in the world-the English town and court

A succession of near ten years' crops of beauties had come up since her time, and had been reaped by proper HUSBANDmen, if we may make an agricultural simile, and had been housed comfortably long ago. Her own contemporaries were sober mothers by this time; girls with not a tithe of her charms, or her wit, having made good matches, and now claiming precedence over the spinster who but lately had deri

twice or thrice only to one person), must have been too fond and pressing with the maternal authority; for her son and her daughter both revolted early; nor after their first flight from the nest could they ever be brought back quite to the fond mother's bosom. Lady Castlewood, and perhaps it was as well, knew little of her daughter's life and real thou

bout it, all Lady Castlewood answered was: "do not speak to me about it, Harry. I cannot tell you how or why they parted, and I fear to inquire. I have told you before, that with all her kindness, and wit, and generosity, and that sort of splendor of nature she has, I can say but little good of poor Beatrix, and look with dread at the marriage she will form. Her mind is fixed on ambition only, and making a great figure; and, this achieved, she will tire of it as she does of everything. Heaven

g lady could not appear beside her, and Lord Ashburnham, who had his reasons for wishing to avoid her, slunk away quite shamefaced, and very early. This time his Grace the Duke of Hamilton, whom Esmond had seen about her before, was constant at Miss Beatrix's side: he was one of the most splendid gentlemen of Europe, accomplished by books, by travel, by long command of the be

cretary St. John, whispering to Colonel Esmond in Fr

ould Mr. Steele's manner (as for the other author of the Spectator, his prose style I think is altogether inimitable); and Dick, who was the idlest and best-natured of men, would have let the piece pass into his journal and go to posterity as one of his

have done with Epsom and Tunbridge, and with beaux at church, and Jocastas and Lindamiras? Why does

s her mother, "speak gr

a laugh, "and was brought down by a bishop from a mountain. Oh, how I used to break

her mother blushing. "And a very pre

ing round to Colonel Esmond, "you have been telling my story to Mr. Steele-or st

re falsehood. "Upon my honor," says he, "I have not even read the Spectator of this morn

en he was drunk-and afraid of his horrid vulgar wife. Whenever I see an enormous compliment to a woman, and some outrageous panegyric about female virtu

ries the Lad

she leaves undone those things which she ought to have done, and does those things which she ought not to have done, and there's-well now-I won't go on. Yes, I will, unless you kiss me." And with this the young lady la

dam, I woul

?" asked Mi

looked at me in that prov

r!" cries Beatri

mother, the kind soul, who was always thinking

r again, "that's what Harry would like;" and she broke out into a great

t low tones. "Doesn't the blush become her? Isn't she pretty? She looks youn

eft the room, carrying h

a minute, and the smile fading away from her April face, gave place to a menacing shower of tears; "Oh, how good she is, Harry," Beatrix went on to say. "Oh, what a saint she is! Her goodness frightens me. I'm not fit to live with her. I should be better I think i

y, indeed," s

d, and of her guardian angel, perhaps that's in company. Oh, Harry, I'm jealous of that guardian angel!" here broke out Mistress Beatrix. "It's horrid, I know; but my mother's life is all for heaven, and mine-all for earth. We can never be friends quite; and then, she cares more for Frank's little finger than she does for me-I know she does: and she loves you, sir, a great deal too much; and I hate you for it. I would have had her all to myself; but she wouldn't. In my childhood, it was my father she loved-(oh, how could she? I remember him kind and handsome, but so stupid, and not being able to speak after drinking wine). And then it was Frank

rix," says

nd your glum face. We are all hypocrites. O dear me! We are all alone,

tter than we believe you. The good we have in us we doubt of; and the happiness that's to our hand we throw away. You bend your ambitio

Lubin to market," says B

l. Well, Tom Lockwood can do that. He took me out of the fire upon his shoulders, and nursed me through my illness as love will scarce ever do.

a your honor wants, and that I should

and years ago; when shepherds were longer lived than now. And my meaning was,

ockings to captivate you

d indeed, it is not much; and I think a hundred fools in the army have got and deserved quite as much. Was there something in the air of that dismal old Castlewood that made us all gloo

r since we left it, when-never mind how many years ago." And she flung back her curls, and

f my bar-sinister, and so am I. A man cannot get over it in this country; unless, indeed, he wears it across a king's arms, when 'tis a highly honorable coat; and I am thinking of retiring into the plantations, and building myself a wigwam in the woods, and perhaps, if I want company, suiting myself with a squaw. We will send your ladyship furs over for the winter; and, when you are old, we'll provide you with tobacco. I am not quite

Harry," says Miss Beatrix,

and even degrading to himself, his passion was. "No," says he, then: "I have tried half a dozen times now. I can bear being away from you well enough; but being with you is intolerable"

are our elder brother-as such we view you, pitying your misfortune, not rebuking you with it. Why, you are old enough and grave enough to be our father. I always thought you a hundred year

and shall leave it. I shall stay, I think, to see you married, and

lips, as the nobleman entered, looking splendid in his star and green ribbon. He gave Mr. Esmond just that gracious bow which he would have given to

down stairs. She often met him as he was coming away

u, Harry?" Lady

very frank-ver

t what is goi

happen?" says he,

ffer yesterday. They will marry as soon as his mourning is over; and you have hear