ter

. I know it won't change a thing. We've known each other for nearly thirteen years-thirteen years

sparkling on her finger. She's laughing and crying all at once as she tells me how Noah proposed. I

confes

like he's just won the lottery. He goes on and on about t

is best friend. And

he says when I ask. "I wa

is. For b

don't say

il of the wedding that has Elena crying from joy one minute and stressing

y. Over and over. Lik

rry her. What more proof do I ne

door to the only love I've

l myself

before the wedding. A

bly right. My heart's racing, hands shaking, though

like I'm not two seconds from tearing my hair out. "Just tell him. Say

the night before Elena's

y think he'd

"I just-God, I can't calm down. I feel like I'm losing it. He's getting married tom

t and stubborn. My voice cracks as I keep

na hold her damn train, hand her tissues, fix her makeup and

a fistful of wire and wrapped it around my r

nto the ceremony. You'll fall apart. And you know Elena, if you back out now, she

t and crosses the room, pulling me into a firm embrace.

what's the worst that can happen? Just get i

ess mind until they feel like truth. That's how I find myself at Noah's house

e's thinking about marriage. Who buys a three-bedroom house at twenty-seven without a plan? The pl

fiancé's house. He was my friend first, that's the thought I cling to,

oah, bleary-eyed, hoodie damp with sleep, face ti

e it hits him full force,

reath unsteady. Bu

avers, like it can bare

u're drenched," he says

s fi

me in, let me gr

I j

k if you stand

but I'll

sperated now. "Just

nto that house with this bu

ut, rip free, like somethi

shake, but the secret's out. No taking it back

tlined against the dim glow spilling from inside. His expre

tain. "What are you s

one else. Maybe I'm losing it. Maybe this is pure madness, show

olding together. "Who doesn't? And I know she love

Ray, you can't-" He hesitates, like he's searching for the right words, t

is isn't meant to stop anything. I just needed to say it. You needed to know." I breathe in d

quiet between us stretches, thick with

ice is barely a

ur. "I know I'm too late. I didn't say it soon enough. But... what if I

heavy and sorrowful settling in his

ng into a sob. "Yeah, you can say it, Noah

ants to resist, like he wants to spare me, but

g. "I won't ask you to say it again." I pu

t, and I see it, the split sec

t but firm. "I have loved her

aggering. It hits me like a punch to the gut, knocking the air out of me. I nod, try to swallow it down,

ng more. I've been the closest person to him for

ch for me, like he wants to pull me into a hug. But he hesitates. Some

that comes from somewhere deep and raw. I cry like a child who's lost

out right there on the porch. If I had died, I think maybe it wou

drenched, broken. I beg Noah not to tell Elena. Th

at raw, my body heavy with grief, but I'm up. I smile

ike it nev