William Adolphus Turnpike

ing; an' you living in a city. Back t

find your way home in the dark? My, but you're c

Ward Eighteen Conservative Club? He's a charter member, too. Don't he rent the parlor for a po

m things, eh! Well, maybe he

ers organised into the Ward Eighteen European Reform Club by Jimmy Duggan, the coal and woodyard man. My Pa and Jimmy Duggan is great friends. Jimmy says to Pa, he says, 'Come along, Joe, I got the greatest bu

uch are you gettin' out

a hopeless dyed-in-the-wool Tory,' he says, 'what's ag

my Duggan,' she says. 'Both of them political p

and he says, 'Madam,' he says, 'I admit that the party to which my poor friend he

, Jimmy,' she says, 'a

about Willyum coming along,' and y

m 'Talians. S'pose they got to fighting, anybody

ou are doing a great wrong,' he say

he says if Pa don't take Jimmy away she'll throw 'em bo

ever dreamed of. It was a cold night, and they had the stove goin'. Me and Pa, we sits near the door because Pa says that when the meetin' get

eyes, and when Jimmy Duggan left us and starts down to the plat

, 'He ain't so

s, 'He ain't no

hen ain't he a Swede when

man, 'you mean Sweden,' he says, and my P

nd he says, 'Mister Duggan,

an eyelid. Gee! but he's a grand jollier. And I thought the man's eyes would drop out; I almost felt like holdin' out my hands to catch 'em. And he sa

hard and he says, very sarkas

been shot, takes a flying leap off'n the platform, and comes rushing down towards my Pa and the man with the whiskers and the bulging eyes. And the man was yelling all the time like the fans do at the baseball game when the score's a tie

, and he says pretty sharp, 'Sit down.' And the feller set, and just as he did he opens his mouth to let out another yell, and Jimmy grabs a

him and the man stops with his mouth open, and he looked foolish I tell you. So then Jimmy bends down and whispers something in the man's ear, and the fell

a Dago and a Hungarian gets to words ab

, is it? Have i

estra was playing the swellest ragtime music you ever heard. Well, them two gets to blows, and about fifteen others are jumping ar

ll, me learned friend

rmed, gentlemen,' says Jimmy, 'that the Honorable Fixem is now on the stairs on his way int

ra man leader he didn't hear what Jimmy says and he thought that he wanted it louder, so he waves his hands like mad and the ork-estra sails into that tune like they'd never quit it, until Jimmy leans over and grabs the leader by the back of the neck and nearly chokes the breath outer him, and the ork-estra is just comin' for Jimmy en massey when the leader says something in Italian and they sits down again looking kinder sad a

udging by the way Fixem told it, is enough to make people want to keep 'em in for ever. My Pa says it's mostly guff, but th

igrants. And he says something about not stooping to bribe any man to cast a vote for the gover'ment by promising to find work for him,

er he had it there for. Pa says mebbe he's ripenin' it by the stove so as to sell it the next day. Anyway it misses the man what's makin' the noise and hits the o

s or rolling down the stairs and rushing back again, some of them with their noses bleeding and their clothes torn, and all the time sho

t stopped it, Jimmy?' And Jimmy says, 'Well, I just got a few of the fellers together,' he says, 'and we hollers "St

at you said to that feller sittin' beside me.' 'Well,' says Jimmy, 'he's a Russian,' he says, 'what was mixed up in some of the Nillyist plots

ty was then at the transition period; its population had just passed the 200,000 mark, and already included a fair number of lunatics who clamored for a million people. But it had not yet made up its mind that dumping sewage into the Bay and believing that it would