Looking for Happiness

noyed with me. Maybe I can see why because I'm beginning to understand everyone: I just learned how to hate myself, too. The latter part of my relationship with Sarah was noth

hen I ran away. Sarah is waiting at the door with her exhausted face, perfectly

began. "Why did you do th

you that I barely remember?" I ask

lieve in you." S

dder when I sit on the other sofa than when I sit next to h

out what really happened on t

sed that I said 'dream' instead of

I have forgotten that I... I dreamt what happened t

"Calm down, I believe in you, Kasey." She s

pause and take a deep breath. "I'm Kasey, Kasey Tara Sanches. I r

throat, choking me. Sarah stands and sits ne

?" she asks. "Will y

se I feel hurt, always, every day, and no one likes

.

ek while I was sitting on the hard surface. It was Monday before that rainy day. Mom woke me up to prepare for school.

er sister. I have two more sisters. My oldest

to remind me that Katie is prettier than I, but she likes to compare me to Katie, though, and I've gotten

here is nothing good in there but my friends. I can't be good in there even though I have already given all

classroom. He excitedly asked me about the date

.

," I say i

hink for a moment if it happened in September, but the m

eptember?" Sarah asks. I'm as confu

. "I was talking with my friend Mac

ackey talk about? W

because it was his birthday. H

st a dream, ri

ly. "It was so real in my dr

u think it

hen it happened." I turn to look at Sarah. "Ha

und six in the afte

ook for Mackey's Facebook account. His account is p

says. It makes me feel tha

es me to go

.

sed to sleep over at their house whenever my mother let me, but it was only a few times. Our teachers often compared us because she was smart and I was not, yet we are friends. They always told her to tutor me before the exam and taught me our homewor

my seat to finish what I had written that day. My friend, Savanna, asked me what I was writing.

just do that!"

n Mars. Poverty is not a problem anymore. Religion was long gone, ra

finish what I was writing and then eat. She teased me that I was crying when I was not. But she pointed unde

her. I put my notebook on the table and continued to write. She asked me if I could be tired of writing; I pretended I didn't hear her, but she took my notebook again and told me to eat first. I cried. I wa

riends. However, it made me feel happy because she liked them, even if it was just a pretense. She told me I might not have

ful. I told her that she liked all my stories, but she pushed off how beautiful and interes

write like a creepy detective beside me. I pleaded for her not to do it and do other things she had to do, but she pleaded back that she would do it quietly. Tha

try to be there. Savanna pulled me out to the gates. She was laughing that Mackey was eager for me to be there. We walked together to our house; w

snack and to get myself ready for my homework. I look at the time: 2:10 PM. She also informed me tha

me when I couldn't get the right answers to the questions. She started to call me names, which I heard several times. I wonder why I cried that night when I knew what would happen. Then I reminded her of the time that made

t stupid party and to have fun! Why can't you be jus

, I heard it over and over

ed me by my hair and dragged me downstairs to lock me in the darkroom again. I b

this shiny white hair, a tall nose, white teeth, and a kind face. She loved her pet squirrel in a small cage she called Tip, and we were always talking about her pet. Sometimes, she sang me a song until I had fallen asleep, but most times,

se the pain in my heart, and it was normal and okay to cry. I grabbed my pen and my notebook, with only light from the cracked wooden ceiling from upstairs. I couldn't se

here I can't be happy. If happiness is n

never have the guts to do it some other time. The window was so small that it was hard to crawl through, contorting my body to squeeze in. When I finally got out, I felt like

in happiness. I had no shoes, no things, no direction, no map, no one but myself, but I was happy that