Fading Vows
ped our son's funeral to pick u
was dyi
ays, I chose
d, why did she
di
oddler, he turned into
ffering their sympathies, some genuine,
three, and his moth
doesn't care. She went to pick up her old flame from the airport. If it weren't for T
the mother doesn't show. Being a
ome to this, would I have ins
t find an
d by illness and grief, unable
echoed in my ears, but her pr
if it took me that long to realize
n't she
Palmer returned to
. Ian, trying to find his mother, stum
y nestled his face into my shoulder, ca
thing r
finally understood
adopting him, the warmth of being called Daddy, and h
my mind, only to fade like old
my heart t
on, struggling against threads that
t my chil
ness, I stood until midnigh
ne neve
glanced at me cautiously and
therine
y she didn't know I was gravely ill. So b
ge was somethin
sured her to marry, she had no choice. So she settled
n't love, jus
er, knew I loved her desperately. Marry
does it still hurt so much? You knew from
ts of warmth over the past two years, th
thy was back,
o him, I w
rved parents who cherished hi
ep on the living room couc
ned in the morn
g home. It felt like she was stop
hat's the point of acting like this now? Wh
unable t
an ran out looking for h
t even know I had a
e she'd care
y, I said, "It
for dragging I
"I never agreed to the adoption
left fo
son, as if he'd nev
herine's hear
my low voice echoing in
ears, and she bare
Ian be any
could have a normal, happ
iculous co
wanted child,
d bring us happiness, but people
gone, and I
years of watching her, I knew every str
r who'd just lost a child. T
joy she felt pic
iff of cedarwood col
ar men's
y's fa
e went t
he prominent Reynolds
and nights before, I
to wash
it up, her p
one with Catherine yesterday. I'll come by to grab it. Sebastian, is that y
we were kids, loved ta
, my mother,
ughing together, her face lit with a rare, ca
as always comp
how she was
rked, a glint of tr
was tyin
s times to tie mine, li
ing, "I run a huge company. I don't have time fo
ard for my wife
it, what wa
me. I couldn't
ly familiar, the same o
ole of husband be jus
t soaked in
I handed the phone to th
n't do it. She just didn
a
able to bring Mom
y opened a box of pastri
always bought them for
iving, but I still
e had been my h
able, handed me car keys, and said casually, "Go
miled as if it didn't matter. "Just
Catherine let out a s
ike be
I always had pastries ready,
ine nestled into m
ng time since we
just guilt, a
e been overjoyed
like a bone
dull waves of pain, like a
I held her and opened
like cars. S
ed for years, I wanted to as
e something out of
aved by a bold,
lived in my world, and
in competitions, watched her hair dance in the su
half-brother
loved him. As an adul
noth
had
he was
nothin
writing a diary t
used to be occasional aches t
d been driven under my skin,
much, but I suddenly
she abandoned me.
d crushing poverty-w
st an ordi
e used to fan away the summe
she left. She built a new
up to watch me
her hair turned gr
w Timothy walking w
therine, wa
like a lov
the café. I quietly followed
savings. With my condition wo
the three of them ca
me, and her fa
eel somethin
ther, who didn't recognize the st
turned, pretending not to know Ca
from the start. That's wh
n't ne
ad long for
e came home with roast
aid it w
g couple, eating, cha
entioning the sce
illness, Catherine could be with
ng them today f
asn't entirely
h everyone else f
one b
erine nestled in
n't even like greasy
did because
e car, the goose-the
ts to ease
e, do you remember your wedding vows? No matter sickness or pove
athing
face to my chest, soothing me. "Don'
art s
er pause and
ne hate
ime, she l
ut she'd always carry
f the Reynolds family started c
I'd set out, a famil
y, "Go ahead and eat.
d in and
n was worse
s, spreading through people's body. Even chemotherapy only de
he host
ked my phone. Half
tumor had likely sp
ack, sat at
shed eating and wa
ing me to an island vacatio
always wanted to go,
couple of days. Are y
enough to cause fainting, I
back in the country,
hat... Catherine, w
self to the
rate to see how far Cathe
gh and talk, I hu
ing off my frame, nothing but b
e Timot
ng grimly on the sideli
g to Timothy and
ain, maybe to
want to
t her and
the car
othy's smugness flashed in my mind, settl
living room, I realized I'd bought
on the floor. The fo
marriage, it wa
everyone a
wife. Why wasn'
ly, stomping the
it-I didn't e
ss off the tabl
se or cars either! I di
I tore the liv
n't en
ard, cutting my arm.
dn't i
ed myse
hoed in the
ng, then swe
oarsely. It
're pathetic!"
inst my chest. I pull
miling u
him call me Daddy
ieted. I calmed down an
explained. "Sebastian, don't overthink it! You said you weren't coming. Timoth
love you. I remember the wedd
at her,
me fiercely, eyes
was always c
I smiled gently at her
ne remembered the vows. Sh
I was the only one who
id my chest feel like a gaping
ur wedding
epared a lav
tion spreading, I
let's live well. I'll come home more
t stay okay. You don't know how scared I was at
ay something whe
oth
owed, like it
s, grabbed her coa
"Sebastian, next time, we
need my p
never requir
nown that sin
and cake, I swept
wine, forming an
a while, t
anks for Catherine's help. It's too far, so
here, he added,
read rumors to the bullies who tormen
secretly visit
r hug Timothy
rner like a rat? Why look for my mom? She's my mo
thy still thought
wrote my final diary
Apr
Catherine went
ld on, but it
taking Catherine
as w
al. No one can comp