he haze one afternoon, during a m
ore the final,
ia Ste
tair's side, announcing their eng
visiting academics. I was there, helping,
irlwind of expensive perfum
cted, exuding an old-money sophistication th
ntion shifted t
ith a history I hadn't known, a
sweeping over me with a dismissive
l a pang of jealousy so sharp, so unf
ry followed,
sing gala. Alistair
urse, his devoted
too, a patron of th
me by the ref
air, aren't you?" she'd said, her
ur enthusias
of Alistair's colleagues, to subtly mo
rby. He heard. H
d not
ely and turned back
humiliation so profound, a pain so acute, I had t
al emotions had felt like a curse,
of Reflection House, I con
ere was
his emotional blankness
meant the absence of
o the patch-fueled highs and
, empty
ipple disturbed the monotonou
tor. F
ictoria
looking entirely out of place in her des
ng a university benefactor nea
pointments," she said, her eyes scanning the
from Professor Finc
air, of their plan
tion – tears, anger, some s
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