His Dead Wife's Shadow

na's

he house, my arms felt like

rt. My feet felt swollen. But I didn't say anything. I

g on the couch, p

thout looking at me. "Mom said you

mach g

at somethi

don't get dinner today. You forgot

"I... I did

like my proble

to the laundry room. That's what you do when you're

e jelly. But I kept going. I still had to sweep the hallway, clean the

s pa

was so em

of food, I

led her nose. "God, you sm

even flin

ld bar in the laundry room to sleep on, with a thin towel

t stop thinki

e with the sharp jaw, serious eyes, and quiet powe

reason... he

saw

for a second. Even

one like him could love someone like me. A world where I h

voice would sound li

ld feel like if th

if he saw me-not as trash-bu

sleep li

rvi

aus

ith my

ien's

before the

ways

. my body still moved on the old s

. Thirty push-ups. Breakfast at 7.

he only thin

e housekeeper came in at 8, but

ted beans and lemon cleaner. The windows faced the

y looke

en island. The seat acr

d to b

robe three sizes too big, feet on the chai

time?" she used to tease. "You

e I

. Untouched. Like no one wa

offee. Hot. B

m last night. The one behind the diner, lifting

it was just

t wasn'

ent, too. That girl wasn't polished or soft like my wife. She looke

gotten her alre

ack in my chair and

ng for the phone, "I nee

. Then:

't kno

her

. Descr

my memory. Those bruises. That hopeless look. The way

ening. She works there, maybe part-time. Small. Long hair. Wor

er?" I adde

" I said. "But she's not her. I

erst

d ran a hand

upid, I to

ger that looks a l

uldn't f

na's

the sound of

is my u

o my chest, towel wrapped around me like a second skin. My

ed up, he

, rushing to the tiny table.

s and held it up to the light.

ied my

sh, her hand came f

ud s

o anything rig

outh tasted blood. But I just kept my eyes down

t, eggs, sausages. The kind of

er shoes unt

er school bag, and stood quietly whi

autiful," I

hatever. Don't touch my

fect hair. Sharp eyes. Same mo

?" she asked without looking at

ry," I w

orry. You're a w

r, already in his suit. He did

e I was something stuck

they

like

them and the silence c

kitchen. One sock still in my

tarted

ot the quiet ones I

sobbed. Lou

e. No one would car

to th

ted to go

t o

A backpack. A desk

d answer questions and laugh with

allowed to

ttic. The mistake they kept

very day, I would