Held Without Fear

your soul rest. I let my guard down because he made safety feel simple. But even soft hands can let go. And whe

arate. I kept moving, but it wasn't living. It was surviving. The bed felt too big. The wor

m at the same time. We met in the oddest of ways-a comment on a mutual friend's post, a pri

ng-distance thing, and anyone who's ever been in one knows-you don't just fall in love. You fight

lready yawning, fighting to stay awake just to hear my voice. And he always stayed awake. Always. We had a ritual-video calls

the last thing I saw. And mornings I woke to a message from him sayin

our song. He said he loved how I looked when I didn't know I was being

nce texted, after I sent him a photo in my

rs would be. We joked about how we'd argue over who gets the last slice of pizza or who has to do laundry

es, asking if I'd ever try them with him one day. His dad joked that I'd better be re

ears from now, you're there. Always there. Eve

d him. Ev

missed a call or I fell asleep waiting. But we always found our way back to each other. The kind of

ng cracked. It happened quietly. A shift I didn't not

. That's what he

I stared at the screen, blinking like it would

," he kept repeating. "I

On sacrifice. On waiting. And all the sleepless nights, all the longing, al

use I was naive, but because I knew the man he had been to me. The man who stayed up till 4 a.m. to hear about my bad day. The man wh

t. He tried to make up for it. But some

ondering who made him laugh that weekend. I couldn't hear "our

ow goodbye stretched over calls that grew shorter, texts th

life, but from the version of me wh

to relive. Other days, I miss who I was b

ain. The kind of breathing that lets yo

ersion of yourself that didn't see it coming. Maybe it's about learnin

hter. The way his face lit up when I answered a call. The way he whispered my name lik

ce. A heavy kind. But now, I'm le

can be sacred. Even s