Ten Thousand a-Year. Volume 2.

generally, is unspeakably gratifying to a vain and ignorant possessor of that rank. Of the truth of one part of this

e effort, and object, of those who had attained to it. Titmouse was to remember that, great as was the Earl of Dreddlington, he was yet but a man-related, too, by consanguinity, to him, the aforesaid Titmouse; who might, moreover, before many years should have elapsed, become himself Lord Drelincourt, and by consequence equally entitled, with the present possessor of that resplendent rank, to the homage of mankind. At the same time that the earl's advanced years gave him a natural claim to the reverence of his young kinsman-(whom his Lordship was about to introduce into the sublime regions of aristocracy, and also of political society)-Titmouse might extract a few ingredients of consolation from the reflection, that his income probably exceeded, by a third, that of the Earl of Dreddlington. This is the sum of Mr. Gammon's general instructions to his eager and excited pupil; but he also

t rest by the punctual arrival of various articles of dress, decoration, and scent-for Titmouse had a great idea of scents. As for his new watch and its brilliant gold guard-chain-ambitious reader! you should have seen them! About half-past four o'clock Titmouse retired to his bedroom, and resigned himself into

ommenced his operations, "how long it will take me to get from this infernal par

deference in his tone; "why it is as one might say a tolerable way off, cert

h a fine air, "of course, had I thought

st rank lives in that quarter, sir. Excuse me, sir, but I've a

from Lord Dreddlington's?"

rticular strange, if that's where you're going, sir-i

is it indeed? H

Dreddlington the

he's my-my-relation, that's

kind of reverence for the gent

you, that you was like some nob I'd seen at the other end of the town." [Here Titmouse experienced pleasurable sensations, similar to those said to be enjoyed by a cat when you pass your hand down its glossy coat in the right direction.] "Will you allow me, sir, to give your hair a good brushing, sir, before I dress it?

od hand-I've known lots worse, I assure you; men that w

t'ral talent for it besides. Lord, sir! how much depends on a gent's hair, don't it? Of two coming into a room, it makes all the diffe

Twirl had been brushing away at one particular part of the head with some vehemence, "Well," he exclaimed

is it?" inquired Titmou

profession, calls a feather, which is

?" quoth Titmouse

try and get it down; and (excuse me, sir,) you've got a regular rattler!" Titmouse put up his

done?" murmu

t use our OSTRICH GREASE a

tion of the tragedy of the Cyanochaitanthropopoion, and the Damascus Cream, an

my real opinion is, that they're all an imposition-a rank imposition, sir. I didn't

tmouse, with a kind of horror, sta

stockings, and shoes with glittering silver buckles. His white neckerchief was tied with great elegance, not a superfluous wrinkle being visible in it. His shirt-front of lace, had two handsome diamond pins, connected together by a little delicate gold chain, glistening in the midst of it. Then he had a white waistcoat edge, next a crimson one, and lastly a glorious sky-blue satin waistcoat, spangled all over with gold flowers inwrought-and across it hung his new gold watch-guard, and his silver guard for his eyeglass, producing an inconceivably fine effect. His coat was of a light brown, of exquisite cut, fitting him as closely as if he had been born in it, and with burnished brass buttons, of sugar-loaf shape. 'Twas padded also with great judgment, and really took off more of his round-shouldered awkwardness of figure than any coat he had ever worn before. Then he had a fine white pocket-handkerchief, soaked in lavender water; and immaculate white kid gloves. Thus habited, he stood before his glass, bowing fifty different times, and adjusting his expression to various elegant forms of address. He was particularly struck with the combined effect of the two curls of his hair towards each eye, and the hair underneath h

h very pride; ladies within, glistening in satin, lace, and jewels-their lords beside them, leaning back with countenances so stern and haughty; oh, by all that was grand and tremendous! Titmouse felt himself getting now within the very vortex of greatness and fashion, and experienced a frequent fluttering and catching of the breath, and a sense of indefinite distressing apprehension. He was, however, now in for it-and there was no retreat. As he neared Grosvenor Square, he heard, ever and anon, terrific thundering noises at the doors opposite which these splendid vehicles had drawn up-as if the impatient footmen were infuriated because the doors did not fly open of themselves, at the sound of the approaching carriage-wheels. At length he entered Grosvenor Square, that "pure empyrean" of earthly greatness. Carriages rolled calmly and haughtily p

d letting down the loud clanking steps, with such a noise as seeme

n open by the corpulent porter; disclosing several footmen in light blue liveries,

: then, having returned to the coach-"When shall I com

erence between them. The Right Honorable the Earl of Dreddlington was an old experienced fool, and Tittlebat Titmouse a young inexperienced one. They were the same species of plant, but had grown in different soils. The one had had to struggle through a neglected existence by the dusty, hard road-side of life; the other had had all the advantage of hothouse cultivation-its roots striking deep into, and thriving upon, the rich manure of sycophancy and adulation!-We have seen how anxious was our little friend to appear as became the occasion, before his great kinsman; who in his turn had several times during the day exulted secretly in the anticipation of the impression which must be produced upon the mind of Titmouse by the sudden display, in the earl's person, of the sublimest distinctions which society can bestow, short of royalty. It had once or twice occurred to the earl, whether he could find any fair excuse for appearing in his full general's uniform; but on maturer reflection, governed by that simplicity and severity of taste which ever distinguished him, he had abandoned that idea, and appeared in a plain blue coat, white waistcoat, and black knee-breeches. But on his left breast glittered one or two foreign orders, and across his waistcoat was the broad red ribbon of the Bath. His hair was white and fine; his cold blue eye and haughty lip gave him an expression of severe dignity: and he stood erect as an arrow. Lady Cecilia reclined on the sofa, with an air of languor and ennui which had become habitual to her; and was dressed in

ich the earl was really not very far removed-made a very profound and formal bow, (he had been taking lessons from a posture-master to one of the theatres,) first to the earl, and then to Lady Cecilia, who rose about two inches fr

it no small portion of any success which I may have had in life. Punctuality, sir, in small matters, lead

g a part of Gammon's instructions; "to be sure-wouldn't have been behind time, your

seemed, for a second or two, to forget himself; staring in silence at Titmouse, and then in consternation at Lady Cecilia. "I-I-" said he, sudde

y it please your Lordship-particular-bu

iot-and what's worse, a vulgar idiot! And this thing may become Lord Drelincourt!" This was wha

mouse's eye fixed with a kind of reverent intensity upon his Lordship's glittering orders. 'Twas a lucky look, that, for Titmouse, since it began to melt away the ice which was beginning to incrust the little heart of his august relative. 'Twas evident that the poor young man had not been accustomed to society, thought the earl, with an approach towards the compassionate mood. He was frightfully dressed, to be sure; and as for his speech, h

cost twelve or fourteen shillings a-yard at least!-The carpets, of the finest Brussels-and they felt like velvet to the feet;-then the brackets, of marble and gold, with snowy statues and vases glistening upon each; chairs so delicate, and gilded all over-he almost feared to sit down on them. What would the Quirks and Tag-rags think of this! Faugh-only to think for a moment of Alibi House and Satin Lodge!-Then there was the Lady Cecilia-a lady of high rank! How rich her dress-and how haughtily beautiful she looked as she reclined upon the sofa! [she was in fact busy conning over the new opera, which was to come out the next evening.] And the Earl of Dreddlington-there he was, reading, doubtless, some letter from the king or one of the royal family-a man of great rank-resplendent in his decorations-all just according to what he had seen in pictures, and heard and read of-what must that red ribbon have cost? Ay, indeed, poor Lord Dreddlington, it had cost you the labor of half a life of steadfast sycophan

arl, said in a gentlemanlike manner, "Dinner, my Lord;" and retired. Into what new scenes of splendid

and with the other, having drawn on her glove, just barely touched the proffered arm of Titmouse, extended towards her at a very acute angle, and at right angles with his own body-stammering, "Honor to take your Ladyship

rl; while on his right, between his Lordship and the glistening sideboard, stood a portly gentleman in black, with a bald head and-Titmouse thought-a somewhat haughty countenance. Though Titmouse had touched nothing since breakfast, he felt not the slightest inclination to eat, and would have given the world to have dared to say as much, and be at once relieved from a vast deal of anxiety. Is it indeed easy to conceive of a fellow-creature in a state of more complete thraldom, at that moment, than poor little Titmouse? A little animal under the suddenly exhausted receiver of an air-pump, or a fish just plucked out of its own element, and flung gasping and struggling upon the g

nt's time, but with perfect deliberation, the servants poured wine into the two glasses. "Your Ladyship's health, my Lady"

the earl, some time afterwards, "that yo

te-if I may say it, my Lord-quite in style"-answered Ti

claimed the

th the Aubreys, Mr. Titmouse

ut, now I think of it, I had a slight acquaintance with Miss Aubr

the country, I believe," dr

he fancied, rather a displeased look in Lady Cecilia. He had begun his sentence with more energy than he had yet shown

ton, sir?" inquired the earl, "or take

ade up my mind yet exactly-should li

sir; when you get there, sir, you will be better able to judge of

to live in town, or in the c

my Lady-my Lord-beg a thousand pardons," he suddenly added, bowing to both, and blushing violently. Here he had committe

nting, Mr. Titmouse

sees, cases alter circumstances, and when I get down there am

ve scarcely chosen a town reside

ding it is to be sold;" then turning towards the earl-"because, as your Lordship sees, I was thinking

ly occurred that the earl might be warmly attached to the Aubreys, and not relish their being spoken of so lightly; so Titmouse hastily and anxiously added-"

on for nearly a minute. Dinner had now considerably advanced, and Titmouse was beginning to grow a little familiar with the routine of matters. Remembering Gammon's caution concerni

o the Household. Yes; it was about that time, I now recollect. I am alluding, Mr. Titmouse," continued the earl, addressing him in a very gracious manner, "to an appointment under the Crown o

hip!" exclaimed Titmouse, with such a profound defer

solved to give them my best services. I had formed plans for effecting very extensive alterations, sir, in that department of the public service, which I have no doubt would have given gr

, my Lord!" exclaimed Titmouse, as he gazed at the baff

," said the earl, after a pause, "to h

ord, quite; s

of the British constitution has satisfied me that this country can never be s

rue, your Lordship"-interpo

ouse." Titmouse thought this wonderfully fine, and sat listening as to an oracle of political wisdom. The earl, observing it, began to form a much higher opinion of his little kinsman. "The unfort

humbly beg pardon," he added, turning pale; but the fatal word had been utter

ing Mr. Titmouse fully to appreciate the fearful breach of etiquette of which he had just been guilty, by swearing in such a prese

of the opera,

ular," replied Titmouse, w

, or the ballet? I mean

commonly-rather, I should say"-He stopped abruptly; his face flushed, and he felt as if he had burst into a perspiration. What the deuce was he about? It seemed as if some dev

ecilia, calmly; "the ballet does come on at a sad late hour;

ing at the plank which had been thrown to him; "that is

mouse?" inquired her Ladyship, with an app

e;-but in course, my Lady, when I've got to rights a little with m

d he began to hate them. He tried hard to inspirit himself with a reflection upon his own suddenly acquired and really great personal importance; absolute master of Ten Thousand a-Year, a relation of the great man at whose table he sat, and whose hired servants they were; but then his timorously raised eye would light, for an instant, upon the splendid insignia of the earl; and he felt

Lord Dreddlington, suddenly, after casting about for some li

t uncommon like to see it, my

spectacle, sir, and well worth s

, your Lordship goe

l, using some foreign word which Titmouse had never heard of before, and looking towards a delicately constructed fabric, as of compressed snow, which stood before Titmouse. A servant was in a twinkling beside him, with his Lordship's plate. Ah me! that I should have to relate so sad an event as presently occurred to Titmouse! He took a spoon; and, imagining the glistening fabric before him to be as solid as it looked, brought to bear upon it an adequate degree of force, even as if he had been going to scoop out a piece of Stilton chee

lly signifies nothing at all, Mr. Titmouse," s

adyship-what an uncommon st

," said Lady Cecilia, really feeling for hi

ndon the very first thing in the morning." Here the servant beside him, who was arranging the ta

a trifle, Mr. Titmouse!-You unders

ow me-expense is no object. I know

e recovered even the little degree of self-possession which he had had since first entering Lord Dreddlington's house. He had afterwards no very distinct recollection of the manner in which he got throu

between them with stately step, her eyes fixed upon the ground, and her lip compressed with the effort to check her inclination to a smile-perhaps, even laughter. Titmouse was now left alone with Lord Dreddlington; and, on resuming his seat, most earnestly renewed his entreaties to be allowed to replace the dish which he had broken, assuring Lord Dreddlington that "money was no

t you have been engaged in mercantile pursuits during the period of your

very decisive a lie-"I was, please your Lordship, in one of the greatest establishments in the mercery line in London-at the west end, my Lord; mo

mercantile interests of this great country are not to be overlooked!-

them as well as I do, my Lord. Most uncommon low people. Do anythin

easures that were calculated, by removing restrictions and protective duties, to secure to this country the benefits of free and universal competition. We have been proceeding, sir, for many years, on altogether a wrong principle-that of protecting native industry and

self-please your Lordship, I know a trick or two of the trade, and can't be taken in, my Lord. For insta

e that you have the absolute patronage of the borough of Yatton, Mr. Titmouse?-It occurs to me, that as our political opinions agree, and unless I am

pon my soul, it's a

ly interests, Mr. Titmous

d, we shall, I hope, make a very interesting family, if y

by which Ministers popped in their ow

t delay, to Yatton, and Sir Percival Pickering, Bart., of Luddington Court, an intimate friend of Mr. Aubrey's, and a keen unflinching Tory, being returned as member, before the Titmouse influence could be brought for even one m

-him was a trifle too sharp for

f very short duration-Mr. Titmouse. Those who, like myself, are at headquarters-let me see you fill your glass, Mr. Titmouse.-I have the honor to congratulate

that when a gentleman's health is drunk on important occasions, it becomes him to rise and acknowledge the compliment in such language as he can command-"and am particularly prou

earl, musingly, after a considerable pause

ust have become of the earl and his daughter, had they

d downs! Lord, my Lord, only to fancy me, a few months ago, trotting up and d

e Fates ordained it. Sir, there is nothing dishonorable in being poor, when-you cannot help it! Reverses of fortune, sir, have happened to some of the greatest characters i

ngement with your late opponent concerning the backrents

ey'll soon have the screw on, please your Lords

gravely. "What is the sum to whic

, my Lord-won't it?" replied Titmouse, with great glee; but the earl

you will forgive me for suggesting whether it would not be a prudent st

boys there-and learn nothing but a bit of some old languages that a'n't the least use now-a-days, seeing it

w me, sir, to ask

my Lord. It was he that found out all about my case, my Lord. If your Lordship was only

required very ample means to have carried on so arduous a

out consulting his Lordship, who would of course give him the advantage of his experience in the affairs of the world, and open his eyes to the designs of those whose only object was to make a prey of him. Titmouse began to feel that here, at length, he had met with a real friend-one whose suggestions were worthy of being received with the profoundest deference. Soon afterwards, he had the good fortune to please the earl, beyond expression, by venturing timidly to express his admiration of the splendid ribbon worn by his Lordship; who took the opportunity of explaining that and the other marks of distinction he wore, and others which he

ssion in her countenance; whose lineaments showed that if she could have been happy, she might have appeared handsome. She had a most ladylike air; and there was thought in her brow and acuteness in her eye, which however, as it were, habitually watched the motions of the earl and the Lady Cecilia, with deference and anxiety. Poor Miss Macspleuchan felt herself gradually sinking into a sycophant; the alternative being that, or starvation. She was very accomplished, particularly in music and languages, while the Lady Cecilia really knew scarcely anything-for which reason, principally, she had long ago conceived a bitter dislike to Miss Macspleuchan, and inflicted on her a number of petty but exquisite mortifications and indignities; such, perhaps, as none but a sensitive soul could fully appreciate; for the earl and his daughter were exemplary persons in the proprieties of life, and would not do such things openly. She was a sort of companion of

t, as my Lord says?" quoth Titmouse, respectf

aid Lady Cecilia, slightly inclining towards him, and gla

e, as a servant brought him a cup of tea. "These cups and saucers, my Lady, come from abro

sir; I believe we hav

mazing!" Seeing her Ladyship not disp

e earl, presently; observing that the pause in the

my Lord; is y

of vocal music,

played upon the piano very brilliantly, and

n Titmouse replied in the negative;-but added that, he had once begun to learn the clarionet some years before, but could not manage the

lay for you, Mr. Titmouse, if you wi

iara of brilliants. As soon as they had thus retired-"I shall feel great pleasure, sir, in playing for you, if you wish it," said Miss Macspleuchan, in a voice of such mingled melancholy and kindness as must have gone to Titmouse's heart, had he possessed one. He jumped up, and bowed profoundly. Sh

at how highly gratified I feel at our introduction to each other.

st particular polite!" exclaimed Titmouse, in

feel great interest in your good fortunes. Sir, I have the honor to wish you a good evening!" He extended his gloved

four or five such bows as provoked a smile from all who witnessed them. The next moment he was alone with Miss Macspleuchan. Her unaffected, good-natured address made him feel more at home within the next five minutes, than he had been since entering that frigid scene of foolish state-since being in the oppressive presence of the greatn

e condemned cell, and then into the press-room, and had seen his hands and arms tied, and shaken hands with him; and he was going into such a sickening minuteness of detail, that to avoid it Miss Macspleuchan, who felt both shocked and disgusted, suddenly asked him if he was fond of heraldry; and rising from the sofa, she went into the second room, where, on an elegant and antique stand, lay a huge roll of parchment, on a gilded stick, splendidly mounted and most superbly illuminated,-it was about three-quarters of a yard in breadth, and some ten or twenty feet in length. This was the Pedigree of the Dreddlingtons. She was giving him an account

me down to my estate in the country, shall

itmouse was, however, so occupied with his efforts to make a graceful exit, that he did not catch the explanation of his mistake; and, bowing almost down to the ground, reached the landing, where the tall servant, with a very easy grace, gave him his hat and cane, and preceded him down-s

ed the servant, as

ovent Garden," replied Titm

become calm enough to reflect upon the events of the evening, he came to the conclusion that the Earl of Dreddlington was a very great man indeed; the Lady Cecilia very beautiful, but rather proud; and Miss Macspleuchan (Lady Somebody, as he supposed) one of the most interesting ladie