He Doesn't Know I Was His Crush

ancer diagnosis, my boyfriend of e

to my sister Clara, turnin

Clara for years and that

en tell my face ap

so sure who hi

rned the truth, it

ancer was terminal, I got a call

. I'm marrying some

if he were discussin

aper in my hand, my nose s

ese past years. Congrats on you

ould a dyin

dor for hours, so long that

azzi catch you like this! Your new movie's

ked up the highest-rated Time Post O

ter recognized me and excit

to see your new movie!" she said. "Our

air, knowing she had no id

, I began wri

ngs I wanted t

him at first sight

im sooner, would things

lover, only to be discarded with

letter a year later. The young woman as

tears and pinched her chee

won Best Actress

e speech despite the excruciating pain that kept

lm's producer, was

nd announced his e

to marry her, and I'm beyond happy. I want

apped with a smile, swallo

news could b

e with a face identical to Clara's.

the intern

possible to hide, and over our eight years together, I ofte

my one-sided obsession with th

seen Hannah's old pos

ur school uniform outshone the world.' Hilarious.

issues? Her face loo

ed streamer even bre

ns defe

her love life is low. And what's wrong with being

icious comments d

tomach burned, and the taste

every comment and respond to as

media, announcing my permanent exi

to the agency the next day to

hould've given you control of your social media. Are you out of your mind? Do you kno

r breakup was just a phone call. I didn't

would've dressed up. This w

with my pale, haggard appearan

e window, tall and

is expressio

out quitting

in my sleeves,

ter all these years, I

rmination contract w

. Travel, make some friends. You might find it rewarding. I'll cover the penalty f

y trembling uncontrollably, ba

edly? How could he still be so kind

her leave no mark o

doctor I wanted to stop treatment. He tried to p

ll, leaving all my

t. By then, she'd be married to Kennet

her reaction and ga

like her either. But she was

uldn't be sisters

ty-seven, yet I hadn't found my plac

as such a fool, thrilled f

st turned eighteen and was a sma

or dance. I just sat th

chatted with viewers and didn't smile m

were alwa

my pretty face, but they left quickly after rea

and kept doi

tform sent out payments, I noticed an

was foolish enough to s

had a top supporter named "User12067,"

thousand. His watch time showed he'd viewed every s

d him rig

t hurting for money. Give me your account num

. "No worries. I've got p

ct him to be

ts, meetups, or relatio

ve any ulterior motives. I just enjoy watching

play a game? Wha

osting my team. Even I knew watching me could mak

add up either. He seemed rich enoug

as just some rich guy wi

r, I couldn't t

on, catapulting me to the top of the

s of weirdos flooding my chat thanks to the plat

ten million? She's hot, but so

Send me a hundred bucks to prov

ht, I swallowed my pride

e. Tell me what you want, and I'll make it happen

e was typing for a long

pick the place. Don't worry,

balding middle-aged guy made my he

time and pl

I'd quit streaming f

roze as a strikingly handsome

ded wildly, m

guy before, when

me stuff for her. It started pouring midway, and while

te school uniform, handed

but I never forgot th

d be a crush that

s and nights, and yet someone I'

and composed, but

nnah? I'm Kenn

't reme

d to my chest as if I could hide th

nothing like I imagined. I thought yo

m "bro" online, and stammered. "I just..

ked pu

ou seem young. Are you in college?" he asked. "I

oment's hesitation, I spoke. "I turned eighteen in

delinquent, scared he'd judge

d, like he was lookin

tream?" h

ssed. "I was just bored

h amusement. "You don't str

rl" comments mad

for hours. He treated me to m

heat, and he handed me

ou know I love th

ream, you complained about your lunch takeout. Said if you weren

ater. He actually paid

sent me. I dug my bank card out of

. I can't take yo

ed the card

ree," he said. "I went through all this to meet you, Hannah. I

somehow ended up with

2067"-no chats, no meetups, no dating

ting for even a second wo

now and then, oblivious t

e than I ever t

. The boy who walked toward me with an umbrella i

ad were both university professors, but I de

ut a uterus, a c

t news, and from then on, I faced u

ld be innocen

ateful curses. My books w

ause girls would pin me do

d. Everyone

ne bright spot in

s feelings, I agreed wi

Kenneth stood under an umbrella

ging out of my pajamas, and ran ou

you had to say it in person? Com

is face, his gaze soft and l

ted to see you, so

the stairs, turnin

s turne

be with me? I'm

away, but a wave of anxiet

de first..

ed but didn't push, follo

sat on the en

before asking. "You have a siste

t me off guard. My feelings abo

ra, two years older, studying at

o was Clara's high scho

to Stonebridge High School? That's wild. I g

the same high school. Without that c

k, I realized h

insecurity about dropping out, I missed ho

y towel and ha

sitting on the couch

ding you back, Hannah? Do y

oke me, and I blurt

l be honest. I can't sleep with you, and I c

ulled me into his arms, his

ike you because you're you," he said. "You don't have to do a

My face flushed as I whispered in his ear. "Then I'm giv

ompletely fr

ven, my only way out, but I

nd, I cried until my tears ran dry, got nothi