Loving Recklessly

y's

myself. I had to

ped. No matter how much I hated him or tried to convince myself that I did because there was a part of me

let him walk away from me, not after e

that flared up every time I thought about how foolish I'd looked earlier. My

le, but I didn't care. He didn't stop, didn't ev

tall, and even though he wasn't walking fast, it felt like I was cha

I wasn't sure if I meant, or if I was

falling out of my mouth before I could fully process

t even close. I made sure to sound as dismissive as possible, as

ke the air between us thickened. And then, just as I thought he would either ignor

gged at the corn

out it that made the words feel too... intimate. "Though, I think you should've tried s

ort. My chest tightened, but I couldn't let

my racing heart with a huff of disinterest. "Yeah, r

breath hitch. "What if I don't mi

he way down to my toes. The teasing lilt in his voice, the confident swag

en flutter of heat that spread through

oward me. His eyes softened just enough for me to notice it. "Maybe next tim

rt skipped a beat. What was he saying

't be. I wasn

of emotions swirl in my chest. This wasn't how it was supposed to go. He wasn't sup

tered all the walls I'd carefully built up around myse

culous," and turned on my heel. My face felt like i

ny longer, not while he was

, even as I walked away, my

s anymore, or the people around me. I just need

ld've been relieved. Ins

familiar smell of leather and money hitting my nose immediate

oman laughing too loudly and of things

ched m

oman he'd brought home for the night, to fill the empty space he was too busy

der my feet. I didn't bother going to my father's study, where he'd probably be buried in pa

s I passed the stairs leading up t

eached my room, not caring about the

. But it never got easier. Every new woman he brought home reminded me

,I hated that

o the soft comforter as I closed my eyes, trying to block out the noise, the images. I hated the f

e way he'd looked at me, teased me, made

an a hand through m

ll was happ

her's gruff laughter. I clenched my fists, trying to block it out. It w

s, the things my father was doing, was far worse than any humiliat

ion hit me harder

was angry at the emptiness my f

s for Colony didn't seem