How did love became love

me invades his nostrils - it's stille the same, that familiar combination of something fresh, woody and warm, like a morning afte

ely replies, hu

ks in his ear, his voice

re tightly for a while longer, "I'm okay" not okay. It was a lie, yet Wonwoo sa

ng unexpressed, an emotion that remains suspended between them, stuck in a space that no one dares violate. Around them, the group keeps celebrating loudly but

a silent relief in seeing Wonwoo there that evening, part of the group but above there for his return, as if to reassure him that despite everything there was

the clinking of their glasses and the laughter of the boys who, as always, know how to create that magic of home wherever they are. It's

ant, full of vivid details that capture everyone's attention. He describes the grueling physical exercises, the dives in freezi

g his head, "I don't think I could

would have already gone ho

o also tries to smile, but his is different, thinner, almost imperceptible. While the rest of the group

it when he tries to take a spoon of his food, even though his hunger has completely left him and his stomach is in a knot. He feels those warm, piercing e

his sharp features, that natural, confident way he moves and speaks. But when Mingyu suddenly turns

her of them speak, yet there is a silent conversation going on between them, hidden from the rest of the group. It's a tangle of em

ngyu, "Are you planning on staying in Anyang with your family fo

but enough to make Wonwoo feeling his heart shatter. Then he looks back at Seungcheol

Mingyu is not coming home because of what's currently going on between them, of that letter that he w

nd then he tries to hint a smile but it's an empty one, devoid of sincerity, that never reaches his eyes. Lucky for him the boys don't notice it,

ally comes, Wonwoo almost feel

to dissipate the weight he feels on his chest. He says goodbye to everyone with the promise to see each other again very soon but h

that moment, that the weight becomes too much to bear. Tears well up in his eyes slowly and unstoppable sliding down his cheeks. He hasn't cried like th

eve, heartbroken, Wonwoo wonders if i

oor closing behind his back disappears immediately, swallowed by the oppressive stillness, and Wonwoo finds himself wishing that he had never come back. He hates that

he room. Nothing has changed, yet everything seems different. His gaze rests on the blue couch, on that familiar shape that appears to him as a refuge and a condemnation a

aper he knows by heart, the light weight that contrasts with the immensity of the meaning it carries with it. It's a ritual by now. Every night it's alway

hose lines that he doesn't need to read to know what they say. The words imprint themselves on his mind

it, he has always known it in his depth but Mingyu made it clear in a way he can no longer ignore. The way he smiled, the to

the two of them in the

ugs his chest, almost as if he wants to hold onto that memory but he knows it's not enough. He asks himself for the umpteenth time if this is just the right thing for them. If that letter had really been necessary,

his choice. And there's nothing tha

in the drawer as if he wants to close his thoughts along with it despite the emptiness remains so implacable. With a final s

f the room envelops him, the certainty that Mingyu is no longer home pierces his heart but Wonwoo will never s

ess on the blue couch with his head lost in a whirlwind of thoughts. The silence slowly becomes an enemy that en

ls his heart leaping in his chest, pounding so hard in his ears that it covers every other sound. For a moment he is sur

oor opens and

ls, and the tips of his hair are wet, droplets of water slowly sliding down his dark locks to gently fall on his jacket. It was still raining outsid

g at all. If he should break the silence or let this mom

er, is the fi

hing still labored, "I'm sorr

would he have to knock ? This is his home, too. It had been for so long. And now

t his voice is weak, hoarse, a

ons than answers. Mingyu is the first to look away, staring at an indefinite point on the floor. Wonwoo, on the other hand

as if to find the bravery

ore stable voice, "I'm happy you came tonight" he says, his

ome all this way jus

e bites the inside of his cheek to hold back the tide of emotions that overwhelm him, but in the end he

otions hard to decipher, "I thought about it for a moment, yes" he admits, his wor

at leaves a bitter taste in his mouth, "Is that why you didn't tell me about your dis

. He takes a deep breath, as if gathering the courage to continue, "I didn't mean to make things awkward

ounds incredulous, "When you left, I never thought for a second t

letter" Mingyu mutters, "I didn't want you to feel p

feels his heart tighten painfully in his chest, now that the letter has been mentioned he can't help but remember every single word he wrote, every emotion he poured onto that paper, every hope

ays finally, his voice so low that Wonwoo can

wh

e back here" he admits, his voice shaking, "Scared of looking into your eyes and realizing

s stomach. How could he think such a thing? And yet, another part of him understands, a part that r

murmurs with a sincerity that burns in h

s, a light that seems to break the darkness that has enveloped them for so long. Then, without saying a word, he comes closer and sit

o broken souls trying to find each other. And it's Mingyu who b

d anoth

the pain that's overwhelming him. Something inside him shatters into a thousand

me to keep staying here" he admits and there's a note of guilt in his voi

s the blue couch as if it's the only thing still keeping him rooted to reality. "Why did you come then.

I guess" he says, "And

ds gives him away. He's on the verge of collapse and he knows it. Every muscle in his body feels tense, like a rope about to snap. He forces himself to s

ung" he says, his voice shakin

his gaze is so intense that Mingyu almost recoils, "Because I'm not a cowar

ng falls back into a sudden, oppressive silence. Mingyu stands s

"I didn't wait 18 months in vain" he continues, his voice shaking again now, more fragile, "I

streaming down his face. He says

rt breaking a little more w

t, so strong, Mingyu so... everything that I am not. And I wondered, who am I to write you those words ? Who am I to deserve what you wrote to me ? Writing you a letter would have been like breaking down every wall I've built around my heart. I would have exposed myself completely, without defenses, and I didn't know if I could survive that. So I didn't write

like a painful echo. His eyes are fixed on him and his lips tremble slightl

mine I don't because... I don't remember a day when I

all that hell. But now... now that I'm here... it's like everything is ten times more complicated because I'm scared of all of this. Of us. Of how we... how we can make it through all the chaos around us. I don't know how to handle this. I don't know how to be myself with you... and still be what others expect

him to turn toward him. The touch is light, almost hesitant, yet it burns like fire on both of their skin. Mingyu flinches slightly

is words spilling straight from his hear

their eyes stay glued to each other, full of everything they can't say. With an almost unconscious movement, Mingyu lowers his head and rests his forehead on his. The contact is sweet, but devastating in its intensity. Tears

spers with a stra

ithout hesitation, he quits the distance between them. His lips press against Wonwoo's in a kiss that is neither cauti

nwoo invading his mouth and senses. It's a kiss that speaks of love, of pain, of desire, and above all of a desperate need to stay. Their tears mingle, but neithe

gone unsatisfied for too long. Mingyu holds Wonwoo with one hand behind his neck, fingers threading through his hair, while the other hand holds him tightly, as if afraid he might dissolve at any moment. Their breaths intertwine,

ushed, his eyes still shiny, but there's an unwavering determination in the look

slowly, Mingyu takes Wonwoo's cardigan and slides it off as well, his hands brushing the bare skin underneath, making him shiver. His lips go down to Wonwoo's

e lips against his skin is almost overwhelming, a mix of sweetness and passion that leaves him breathless. Mingyu moves lower, hi

s an expression of something

u's hands move along Wonwoo's sides, holding him as if he were something precious, something he is afraid of breaking. One moment after Mingyu is between

that unprecedented intimacy. He looks at him like he doesn't believe any of this could ever happen

erything dissolves except the two of them. They find each other, discover each other, and promise eac

hem, heals and completes them, finally fr

lue couch, wher

were a wonderful melody played just for him. His fingers trace delicate invisible designs on Mingyu's warm skin, following the lines of his muscles with an almost meditative slownes

e faint glow of the city lights is reflected in the dim light, enveloping them in an unreal atmosphere. Mingyu is relaxed under him

sks Mingyu, breaking the silence

ul smile lights up his face. "I'm thinking

er and presses a tender kiss to Wonwoo's mouth, a sweet one full of gratitude and love. "You know..." he says after a few mo

d, "Who exactly?" he as

letting his memory take him back to those moments, "They always

resses him, his curi

ast that's what I told myself but then..." he stops, and his gaze returns to him, "Something changed. You were always there when I came back home. You were t

ingers still running lazily along his skin as if to imprint that moment in his memory. He hol

beat, like his arms holding him. In that moment, nothing else matters. N

of hesitation, his voice a whisper that seems to blen

skin. "No" he murmurs, "I want this to be just ours. At work, we'll be professional, as alwa

nt you bought" he tells him as his fingers trace the outline of his beautiful face, "I

ips as he raises a hand to caress Wonwoo's cheek, "You're right" he says, "This place is special and...

chest. "A new beginning ?" he repeats s

nning, hyung" he whispers, "No more bad choices, no more dista

of all the love he has never been able to express in words. They part just a little, jus

oo" Mingyu re

ment in their hearts forever. The world outside may be falling apart, but here, in that room, time for them seems to have stopped.

hs mix, their souls touch and it's as if all the pain a

her, with their hearts beating in uniso

itte

swe